


Otherkind

by MizDiablo



Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Adorable Bruce Banner, Awesome Jarvis (Iron Man movies), Canon-Typical Violence, Clint Barton & Natasha Romanov Friendship, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Fanboy Phil Coulson, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Hidden Talents, Hiding, Hurt Tony Stark, Hurt/Comfort, Idiots in Love, Inspirational Speeches, Jarvis (Iron Man movies) is a Good Bro, Loneliness, M/M, Magical Realism, Misunderstandings, Natasha Romanov Is a Good Bro, Nightmares, POV Alternating, Press and Tabloids, Protective Jarvis (Iron Man movies), Protective Natasha Romanov, Secrets, Smut, Steve Rogers & Phil Coulson Friendship, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Torture, Transformative Works Welcome, Vigilantism, kind of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-01
Updated: 2020-06-29
Packaged: 2021-02-27 13:53:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 27
Words: 64,528
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22068091
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MizDiablo/pseuds/MizDiablo
Summary: By the Decree of Humanistic Security of 1819, all Otherkind must be reported and registered at the Institute for Otherkind Control (IOKC). Otherkind is not allowed to breed or hide themselves among the normal population.The existence of Otherkind provides a continuous threat to normal humankind and must as such be controlled.
Relationships: Bruce Banner/Natasha Romanov, Clint Barton/Phil Coulson, James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers, Tony Stark/Stephen Strange
Comments: 212
Kudos: 217





	1. Phil and Steve

It was probably Phil’s youth as a fanboy that gave him the job. At least, it gave him the knowledge that gave him the job. Few other people still alive know as much about Captain America as Agent Philip J. Coulson. So, when the soldier was found in the ice, it was only logical to put him on the team monitoring Rogers. Despite having long ago outgrow his most embarrassing infatuating with Captain America, Phil still spend as much time as possible with his childhood hero, often staying long after all other agents had left.

So it’s late. Really late. Again. He is lucky Clint is on a mission, otherwise the archer would be annoyed at how much time he is spending at work by now. As it is, he has received several texts from Clint telling him to go home and get some sleep. And he will. Soon. It’s just… It’s Captain America!

So he sits in the room, looking at the sleeping form of his childhood hero. It feels a little creepy, watching him like this, but Phil can’t really help himself. It seems so incredible, the fabled war hero, alive.

There is something else. These last few days Phil has been getting a stronger and stronger feeling that he needs to be there, needs to keep an eye on something. He learned long ago to trust these feelings; it’s part of why he is such a good agent even if he hides it as well as he can. These feelings of do this, be there, don’t go there has helped save his life more times than he can count. And now these feelings want him to be near Captain America.

He doesn’t understand why until some time after midnight. He has taken to doing most of his paperwork by the sleeping soldier’s bed and is working on another rapport for Fury when he first senses it. It’s weak, still mostly hidden by sleep, but it’s definitely there.

It’s still too faint for any normal human to sense, but Phil isn’t sure that there aren’t Hunters hidden among the agents at S.H.I.E.L.D. If anyone found out, there would be no turning back.

Captain America is Otherkind.

It will be less than a day before normal people start to notice and then there will be nothing that can save even the fabled war hero.

Not even being Captain America would be enough to keep you safe from the IOKC, so Phil has to make sure they never find out.

No one knows. He is sure of that. There were never even any rumors of Steve Rogers being anything but humankind. Not in any of the files they found about him, not SSR, not in the propaganda, not even in Howard Starts private notebooks. So he must have kept it a secret even then.

Phil’s own masker is well hidden on his person at all times. A flat metal disc with the masking symbol hidden between the mechanics and the back plate of his watch. They would need to dismantle the watch to find it.

Sometimes he wants them to. Sometimes he wants to tear it off and let the world know. But it’s never going to happen. He knows what would happen afterwards. Interrogation, incarceration, registration and sterilization. A controlled life. Otherkind are not allowed to have much say in their own life. Having kept himself hidden for so long would only make it worse. His job as S.H.I.E.L.D. agent would do nothing to help him.

The room has surveillance cameras and Otherkind Detectors, but the feeling is not strong enough for them to catch the change in Captain America yet. And Phil knows exactly where the cameras are.

He doesn’t move carefully. He keeps himself relaxed, like this is just another day, another night watching the sleeping man. He moves over and leans down to check the many machines connected to the Captain. He is not allowed to have much in his sleep. A hospital gown is the only thing covering him, but he does have his dog tags. Phil is grateful for small miracles.

Moving as to adjust the pillow behind Captain America, Phil pulls out a pen and scratches the masker symbol in the corner of the tags. It will wear off quickly and it’s not hidden as well as Phil would have liked, but as soon as he lets go of the cold metal, the feeling of Otherkind disappears from the room. Hidden for now.

In the following days, Phil watches Captain America even more closely. He needs to be there when the sleeping man wakes up and warn him. So he is the first to arrive and the last to leave. No one thinks it weird. They all know about his collection of vintage cards and war memorabilia. They just smile and shake their heads.

It’s three days later when the machines suddenly go crazy in the room and Captain America starts moving on the bed. Phil is over him in a second, watching the blue eyes blink open slowly. He leans down, checking his pulse and whispers “Keep hiding!” before the doctors pull him away and send him out of the room.

**

Then Phil worries. Between the doctors, the director, the psychologists and even the HR people, Phil doesn’t have a chance to be alone with Captain Rogers, as they call him now, so he can only hope that the Captain will keep himself hidden.

Phil volunteers to take Captain Rogers to his quarters and no one is surprised. Most of them expected it, so after a few last words from Director Fury, the two of them leave and Phil shows Captain Rogers where he is going to live for the foreseeable future. Phil went to the rooms earlier to check up on them and placed a masking sign on the door, hidden by the doorknob. It will keep any traces of Otherkind from being detected through the door. It will keep him safe.

“There is no surveillance in the rooms, so you have full privacy. Any company you have will be required to sign in at the front desk.” Phil says and closes the door behind them. It’s not impressive. A small kitchen, bedroom and bathroom. Better than most quarters at S.H.I.E.L.D., but still not meant for prolonged use. It will have to do until Captain Rogers figure out what he wants to do. “Do you have any questions?”

Captain Rogers have stopped in the middle of the room, looking around. He seems lost. “No. Thank you agent Coulson.”

Through all of it, Captain Rogers has been polite but guarded and maybe even a little sad. Phil hesitates for a moment, but he can’t stop himself. He needs to talk to someone. He tells himself it’s to warn the Captain, but the truth is that he longs for the company of Otherkind. He has been on his own for so long. “You need to find a better way to hide the masker…”

Captain Rogers turns abruptly, eyes wide and hands raised, ready for a fight. Phil keeps himself as neutral as possible. “I’m not… Hang on…”

Slowly, with piercing blue eyes following his every move, Phil raises his hands and takes the watch off. It feels good to be free of the masker. It hides and inhibits him and he rarely takes it off. It’s too dangerous.

Steve’s eyes go wide in a completely new way and his hands fall to his side before he takes a step closer. “You’re… It was you… You told me to hide…”

“Yes… It’s…. Dangerous to be what we are…” Phil says. Captain Rogers grabs the dog tags still around his neck and pulls them off. It is so much stronger now, the feeling of Otherkind coming from Captain Rogers. It’s stronger than Phil has ever experienced before.

“There are no detectors in your rooms, Captain Rogers, but they are everywhere else. You have to find a place to hide the masker before you leave again.” Phil says, but from the look in the Captain’s eyes, he might not listen.

“Steve… Call me… Steve…” He says quietly, taking Phil’s hand. It’s warm and Phil can feel the slight tingling, the familiarity, the rightness of touching his own kind.

“Please…” Steve whispers. He looks so lost and alone and desperate, nothing like the hero from the history books. “Please agent Coulson…”

“Phil…” The agent answers. He hadn’t meant for this to happen, but he can’t deny the fact that he wants it. They sit down on the bed and Phil takes both Steve’s hands.

It’s intimate. So much more intimate than anything Phil has ever done with Clint. It’s not something he would normally do with someone he had just met, Otherkind or not. It’s sharing part of your soul with a stranger.

But as soon as he opens himself to it, he understands why Steve was so desperate to share. Because the Captain is drowning. Drowning in loneliness and sorrow and loss. Everyone he knew, everything he knew, is gone. He is lost and alone in a future where he is still forced to hide his true self and has no idea what to do. He needs something to hold on to. He needs someone to save him.

So Phil shares his soul. He shares his joy in working, his awe at meeting the actual Captain America and his deep, unwavering love for Clint. He shows Steve that there is love and joy and friendship to be found in this time, even if it seems far away right now. He shows him there is light in the distance.

When he slowly pulls back, Steve is crying. Silent tears running from his eyes and he does nothing to hide them. He is smiling. “Thank you…”

“We have to be careful…” Phil says. As much as he enjoys the company of Otherkind, he knows this is very dangerous. He knows that if someone found out, they would be in big trouble. Steve nods. “I know… I will… I just… I don’t feel so alone now…”

When he leaves, Phil happiness at sharing is clouded by sadness. He is honored that Steve would let him see so much of his pain. He is overjoyed to have found someone else like himself. He is happy to have shared a part of him self with someone. He just wishes that someone had been Clint.

**

He gets reassigned shortly thereafter, on request of Captain Rogers. He gets to work with the soldier on a daily basis, reintegrating him in the modern world and, when Steve is ready, being his handler on missions. Steve is intelligent and, even if he is a little reluctant at first, quick to get the hang of most modern technology. He’s not scared to look foolish in front of Phil and asks questions about anything he doesn’t understand. He especially has questions about human- and Otherkind.

“I just always hoped it would be better, you know? That some day people would wake up and realize that we aren’t dangerous and we’d stop hiding.” Steve sighs as he pulls off the dog tags and lets the presence of Otherkind fill the room. Phil has a theory that because of the serum, the soldiers presence is stronger than average, but it’s not really something he can test.

Phil unclips the watch and puts it on the table. It’s liberating, not having to hide. To be truly himself with someone who understands. Someone like him. “We can’t really fight the Decree. If anyone stands against it, they are accused of being Otherkind and locked up. Trust me, I’ve tried to find a way to fight it, but it just can’t be done.”

“Are they really still so scared of us?” Steve asks as he brings coffee over to the table. He is still looking for a permanent apartment, so they have to spend most of their time in the small place he got assigned by S.H.I.E.L.D. Having been believed dead for so long, there are several administrative things that have to happen before he can get a new life.

“Most people don’t really know anything about us. The Decree has successfully forced all of us to hide or submit. No one knows how many of us are still free, but last I heard, more than 15.000 were in the IOKC Camps.” Phil sits down and accepts a cup of coffee.

“That’s… So few…” Steve says quietly, looking down. “When I was young… There were estimated to be more than 100.000 of us… And we didn’t have the technology you do to keep track of people… What… What happened?”

“Many were killed.” Phil is not thrilled to tell the bloody history, but it’s something Steve has to know to understand how important it is to hide. “After the war, many blamed Otherkind for the destruction, so lots of people were rounded up and killed. After a while, the rules became a little more lenient, but still not good. Instead of being killed, Otherkind were taken to special Camps, where they would live the rest of their lives in seclusion. Those who went were sterilized, either willingly or by force, to try and eradicate the genes that make us different. Most of the people in the camps now are old.”

“God, I can’t believe there are so few of us left.” Steve sighs, resting his head in his hands.

“Those are official numbers. No one knows how many are in hiding among the normal humans. Estimates range from a few hundred to several thousands.”

“What do you think?”

“Honestly?” Phil sighs. “There is no way to tell. We’ve become good at hiding. There could be millions or we could be the last ones. It’s too dangerous to tell anyone, so even close friends and family won’t reveal anything. There isn’t a resistance of any kind because no one is willing to endanger themselves by being to first to tell what they are.”

It’s quiet for a moment. Phil’s thoughts are elsewhere, but that must be obvious, because Steve asks: “Do you ever think about telling him?”

“I do. Every day.”

“So why don’t you?”

“I’m scared. I love Clint. I know him very well. But I don’t know if I know him well enough. Maybe he… Maybe he’ll react in another way than I imagine and… I can’t risk losing him… I just can’t…” Phil closes his eyes and bends his head. It’s been on his mind even more lately. Telling Clint. Taking off the watch and letting him know. But if things were to go wrong because of it… It’s not the IOKC that scares him, it’s losing the love of his life. “You never know how someone is going to react before it happens and I can’t… I can’t risk that… I’ll hide for the rest of my life if that means I get to be with Clint…”

Steve nods and the quiet returns for a time. Steve drinks his coffee and cleans up without speaking and Phil just stares at the wall without seeing anything.

“I just… I wish I could do something!” Steve says when he can’t bear the silence anymore. Phil returns his gaze to the present and look at his friend. “There isn’t. Not right now… But… Maybe someday…”

He pauses, thinking. Phil is surprised, but he might have an idea. Steve seems to sense it, as he sits down again, waiting.

“People know you. They know you as a famous war hero, one of the main reasons we won the war. Back then you were known to be strong and good and trustworthy. People today, they only know your story, your legacy, but if you work on rebuilding that reputation… If you become that hero again… If you work on saving and protecting and helping… Then, maybe, some day, you’ll be able to put yourself in a position where you can speak out in favor of Otherkind without endangering yourself. If you become a public figure, they can’t just take you away… It’s a long shot, but it’s a better chance than we’ve ever had before…”

Steve nods. “It’s worth a try. If nothing else, I would probably help and protect people anyway, so it’s not like I’d be doing anything I don’t want… It’ll probably take a while though, to get me such a strong position…”

“It will. We’ll have to be patient. But at least it’s something we can do.” Phil says, looking at Steve who nods. It’s something they can do. Even if it doesn’t have any effect for a very long time, at least they’ll know that they are trying to do _something_. It might never help in any way, but they have to try.

“Will you help me?” Steve asks quietly. Phil can’t look into his eyes. “For now, yes… But when the time comes to reveal the truth? I… I don’t know… I hope I will… But losing Clint… I can’t promise anything… I’m sorry…”

Steve gently takes his hands and Phil feels the faint tingle in his skin. “I understand. I know how much you love him. When the time comes… We’ll see how things are then… Maybe you’ve already told him by then…”

“Maybe…” Phil still doesn’t look up. He feels ashamed that he can’t promise Steve his steadfast support, knowing what might happen if the soldier reveals what he is. He is just too scared of Clint hating him.

But he doesn’t pull his hand back.


	2. Clint and Natasha

Phil has a watch that he wears all the time. It’s a nice watch. Clint should be happy, he gave Phil that watch. He should be glad that the man he loves wears his gift all the time. But he can’t help but wonder.

There are so many ways to hide Otherkind. But he doesn’t ask.

Especially not now. Ever since Clint came back from his mission a few days ago, all he wanted was to be with Phil, but the agent has been spending so much time at work that they hardly see each other. Captain America has seen to that. Phil has become his official liaison in the world, teaching him about what has changed and showing him around the city. He often stays long after hours to spend time with Steve, as he calls the Captain.

And that’s fine, really. Clint always knew Phil was married to his work and it never bothered him before.

Still, he can’t help but wonder.

It’s no secret between them that Phil’s first crush was the handsome soldier and it’s never been a problem before. Hell, Clint has even agreed to dress up like the Captain from time to time, fulfilling some of Phil’s fantasies. He enjoyed that as much as the agent. But now Steve Rogers is here, real and alive and Phil is spending most of his time with him. Not with Clint.

And Clint is really starting to miss his boyfriend.

**

“You can’t seriously think he’s cheating on you, right? Phil adores you.” Natasha says, raising a beautifully sculpted eyebrow and looking at him with those piercing green eyes.

“He was hopelessly in love with Captain America long before he met me Tasha…” Clint sighs, looking up from his sulking position on the floor by her couch. It’s easier to be here, in her apartment, than alone in the apartment he shares with Phil. When Phil finds the time to come home, that is. “And… It’s not just that. He’s been different lately. He seems… Happier… And he’s secretive. He doges the question when I ask about what he does with the Captain and their agendas are not on any of the official S.H.I.E.L.D dockets. I asked. He even said no when I offered to have the Captain over for dinner.”

“It’s not the first time S.H.I.E.L.D.’s been keeping secrets.” Natasha says as she slides off the couch to lie down next to him and run his fingers through his hair. “It makes sense they’d want to keep their new super soldier secret for a while.”

“But Phil never used to keep secrets from me. He told me the truth, even if he could only hint at it because I didn’t have clearance. He _knows_ not knowing what he is doing makes me worry.” Clint turns towards Natasha, who puts an arm around him. God, he is lucky to have her.

“Look, I’m not denying that Phil has a fascination with Captain America and he might have been in love with him once. But he loves you now! He knows you and loves you and the life you have together. I’m sure that he is only spending so much time with Captain America because he’s new to this world. You know what it’s like to get a new toy. You play with it until the novelty wears off and then you return to the toy you really love.”

“You calling me a toy?” Clint tries for humor, but he has a feeling the unshed tears in his eyes makes the joke void. Natasha kisses his forehead. “I’m saying he will come back to you once he gets bored with his work and realizes that his hero is just another boring soldier.”

“But what if…” Clint swallows, unhappy with how broken his voice sounds. “What if he is really happier with Steve and I’m holding him back from the one he’s always dreamed of being with? What if I’m… What if I’m standing in the way of his true happiness?”

“Oh sweetheart.” Natasha says gently, putting a warm hand on his cheek. “Then you’ll let him go, because you are a good man. And I’ll make sure he never gets anywhere near you again!”

Clint sniffs, knowing that she is only halfway joking. Ever since Clint saved her, Natasha has been fiercely protective of him and she would never forgive anyone for hurting him, not even Phil.

“But that’s not going to happen!” she continues quickly. “Because Phil loves you! He has never been happier than when you two are together and he is not going to risk all that for someone he just met.”

“I… I’m so scared… That I’m going to lose him…” Clint whispers and finally gives up on holding back the tears. Natasha holds him tight and stays with him on the floor until he has cried himself out.

**

He eats with her and Phil doesn’t call to hear where he is, so Clint knows there is no one in the apartment tonight.

“You still worry…” Natasha looks at him over her pasta and Clint shrugs. “I’m thinking about the watch…”

“Are you going to ask him?” She says, pausing. There is a worried line on her brow. “It’s dangerous, even for you. Are you sure you really want to know?”

“No, I’m not, I’m not stupid… I just… I wonder…” He sighs. Natasha puts her hand on his. “You love him. And he loves you. What the two of you have is amazing, even if you sometimes have a little trouble. What is happening now is not enough to endanger that. Don’t ask questions when you don’t want to know the answer.”

“I know… I won’t ask…” Clint takes her hand and squeezes it briefly before they both return to their food.

After dinner, Natasha hugs him and tells him everything will be all right, just wait and see. Clint really tries to listen. He tries to remember how happy Phil looked when they first got together, how loving his hands were, how sweet the words. But it’s been years now and Clint worries. He still hasn’t met Captain America. He knows it would help if he did. He knows people. He knows who to trust and who will betray him. He knew with Natasha, so he saved her when everybody wanted her dead. He has never regretted that.

Days pass and he doesn’t see more of Phil. He spends most evenings with Natasha, trying to ignore the gnawing fear growing in his heart. He loves Phil. He can be patient, if it means not losing the love of his life. But the longer it takes, the harder it is. And Clint worries.

**

Clint has an earring. Just a stud at the top of his ear really, the piercer had called it a helix. It’s mostly hidden by his hair. When people notice it, he just laughs it off as something stupid he did when he was young and now has grown used to. He only takes it out with Natasha.


	3. Natasha and Bruce

She’s heard about him, of course. They all have. S.H.I.E.L.D. have kept tabs on him for years, making sure he didn’t get in trouble and didn’t make trouble. And now, S.H.I.E.L.D. have decided they need to bring him in and actually talk to him for the first time.

They send Natasha. She is beautiful, skilled and dangerous. She usually gets what she wants. She’s not really happy about leaving Clint alone right now, but he understands. This is work.

The jet lands on an empty field and she drives alone to the tiny shack outside of the city where he lives. There are several ways to handle this going through her head as she drives, but for once, she decides on the direct approach. They aren’t trying to hide anything, they really do just want to talk.

She knocks on the door.

It opens hesitantly, revealing dark brown curls and brown eyes in the small space between the door and the wall. “Yes?”

“Hello.” She smiles, a friendly smile. “My name is Natasha Romanoff. I work with S.H.I.E.L.D. I’ve come to talk to you. May I come in?”

“Why?” The voice is colder now, hostile.

“Because I want to talk to you.” She repeats, not losing the friendliness in her voice. “If you don’t like what I have to say, I’ll leave, I promise. But I won’t leave until I get to talk to you.”

He hesitates. Then he opens the door with a sigh. “Come in, then…”

She sends him a dazzling smile as she enters the little hovel. “It’s very quaint here…”

“Sure.” He closes the door and turns towards her. She has a feeling he would seem very kind if he wasn’t so intent on making her leave as soon as possible. “What does S.H.I.E.L.D. want from me?”

“We want to offer you a job.” She says, turning her full attention to him. There is something about him, faint, but definitely there. It’s not what she is used to from Clint, but it is similar. It surprises her, even if she doesn’t show it. There was nothing in the files about this. S.H.I.E.L.D. doesn’t know. Well, that part is obvious. If they’d known, they’d have him locked up and on the way to an IOKC Camp long ago.

So it must be too faint for normal humans to notice.

“Why should I care? I’m happy here.” It’s a lie. She knows it as soon as the words have left his mouth. It might be faint, muted like this, but it’s unmistakably a lie.

“You’re not.” She answers simply.

“You speak as if you know.” He takes a step closer, watching her carefully. She smiles again, trying to gain as much as she can from the faint feeling. “I do. And I know more than that. I know you miss scientific work. I know you like to help, but you wish you could do more. You want to cure the disease, not treat the symptoms. I know you long to be back in a lab. We can give you that.”

“Oh yeah? And what will it cost me? My freedom? My free will? My soul?” He asks. He sounds bitter. He expects pain and loneliness. He has seen the worst mankind has to offer and expects nothing else anymore.

“Your house.” She says, looking around the tiny shack. “We’d want you to move to New York. And you’d be expected to work with S.H.I.E.L.D. and share your findings with them.”

“So how would it work? I wake up in my cell, gets escorted to a secure lab to work and then go home to my cell to sleep?” He lifts an eyebrow.

“No cell.” She promises. She knows that telling the truth is the best option with him. If he caught her in a lie, he would never trust her. “We can offer you a room at with S.H.I.E.L.D. or help you find your own. We will be keeping an eye on you, but no more than we are already.”

He watches her suspiciously. “Others have tried to convince me. Why would I go with you?”

“Because I’m not like the others. And I know you aren’t either.”

“The fact that I’m not is the reason I’m here. I was fine here. I was safe. Everybody was safe.” He sounds tired now. Like a man who has tried for a long time but gotten nowhere. Weary and alone.

“It’s more than that. They don’t know. But I do.” Then, she does something she knows she shouldn’t do. She takes off the pendant Clint gave her. It only takes a second before his eyes widen in surprise. “What… What are you doing?”

“I’m trusting you.” She takes a step closer and takes his hand. “And I’m asking you to trust me…”

“I….” He hesitates, looking at her face. “I don’t think I’ve introduced myself. I’m Bruce Banner.”

“I know.” She smiles again, more genuine this time. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Doctor Banner.”

“Please… Call me Bruce…”

**

They talk for a long time after that. Bruce makes tea and tells her about his life here. It’s quiet but nice. He does like it, even if he longs to work in a real lab. Natasha explains what he can expect from working with S.H.I.E.L.D. In the end, he agrees to come with her and try it. She puts her pendant back on and shows him how to put a masking symbol on one of the bracelets he wears. They debated putting it on the glasses, but since he tends to take them off while thinking, it wouldn’t be safe. Normal humans might not be able to sense the otherness in Bruce, but Natasha fears there might be Hunters at S.H.I.E.L.D. They would know, just like she did.

After letting S.H.I.E.L.D. know that they’ll both return, Natasha decides to stay the night. It’s late and even with a S.H.I.E.L.D. jet they wouldn’t be back until after midnight. Better to get some sleep and be fresh for Bruce’s first meeting with his new life.

She gets the bed, as Bruce turns out to be a genuinely kind gentleman and allocates himself to the floor with several pillows and blankets. Neither is afraid of the other. Not because they both believe they are able to handle themselves should it come to a fight, but because they have shared secrets and know that the other has no intent to harm them.

**

Breakfast is comfortable and interesting. Bruce serves a collection of local dishes and Natasha eats a little of everything while he packs the last of his things. It feels far more comfortable to be in his company than Natasha would have expected.

They drive to the jet, talking the entire time. It’s easy and relaxed and continues on the jet. When they arrive at S.H.I.E.L.D., Natasha follows Bruce around like a bodyguard, while some of the scientists show him where he will work. She stands behind him while he talks to Director Fury and doesn’t let anyone bully him into anything. Which is why he does not get a S.H.I.E.L.D. apartment. It’s clear that Bruce is not comfortable living at the Headquarters and Natasha promised that he could find his own apartment. It won’t take long, S.H.I.E.L.D. has connections, but it won’t happen over night.

Until they find something, Bruce stays with Natasha. She gets protective when she likes someone and so far, she has mostly been protective of Clint. Now she has chosen Bruce as well, so she decides to keep him close until they find a place where he is comfortable.

**

She knows someone is in her apartment the moment she opens the door. She also knows who it is, so she doesn’t worry.

“Isn’t this still my apartment?” Natasha asks as she enters, followed by Bruce, who puts his bags by the door.

“Phil is eating with the Captain. Again.” Clint sulks from the couch. The TV is on some inane program about cakes. With Phil spending so much time making Captain America fit into the future, Clint has taken to spend his time on Natasha’s couch. She knows he doesn’t like being in their apartment alone.

“Did you at least get dinner for the rest of us?” She asks as she walks over to the couch and places a kiss on Clint’s hair. He hums. “Take out in the kitch… What do you mean ‘the rest of us’?”

“And you call yourself a spy…” Natasha sighs and goes back to Bruce. Clint turns and looks over the back of the couch, surprised by the newcomer. He collects himself quickly and jumps over the couch to greet the guest, stretching out his hand. “Um… Hi… I’m Clint…”

“Bruce. Natasha is letting me stay here until I find my own place.” Bruce says carefully as he takes the offered hand. He looks a little uncomfortable.

“So you better have enough food for the both of us.” Natasha says, walking into the kitchen to raid the take out containers.

“There’s more in the fridge.” Clint says, letting go of Bruce’s hand and going into the kitchen. Natasha raises and eyebrow and sends him a look. Clint shrugs. “Phil was showing the Captain some restaurant in Brooklyn that he knew as a child yesterday. I like being alone here better.”

Natasha takes his hand and gives it a squeeze before kissing his knuckles lightly and letting go again. “You are always welcome here. But I’m still saying you should talk to him, not to me.”

Arranging the remaining food on two plates, Natasha waves Bruce into the kitchen and sits down. “Clint spends most of his free time here because he thinks his boyfriend is having an affair with Captain America.”

“Oh… That’s… Oh…” Bruce looks between the two of them as he sits down. Natasha is eating her food casually while Clint has flopped down on the table, face in his arms.

“And I keep telling him he is wrong.” Natasha kicks Clint under the table. “You _know_ Phil isn’t going to betray you.”

Clint looks up from his arms quickly and sends Natasha a look that tries to make her shut up. She just raises her eyebrow again and says no more. The rest of the dinner is quiet and a little awkward for Clint and Bruce. Natasha acts like she doesn’t notices at all.

Afterwards, Clint cleans up. He’s been here often enough to know where everything goes. Natasha takes Bruce to see his room and help him get settled. She comes back alone, giving Bruce a moment to himself. She goes to the kitchen to give Clint a hug. For all her teasing, she knows how much he is hurting and will do anything to help him.

“I love you. And I’m sure Phil loves you too. You of all people know that you can trust him. You always knew he’d never betray you.” She says softly. Clint leans his head against hers. “If he leaves me before anything happens, it’s not a betrayal… But I’m still losing him…”

Natasha rubs his back gently, just holding her friend for a moment. If nothing changes in the coming days, she’ll need to take things into her own hands and talk to Phil. If he had any idea what his new assignment was doing to Clint, he’d fix it, she is sure of it.

“Are you going to be okay?” Clint asks after a moment. “With him here, I mean… You’ll have to keep hidden…”

“No… I told him already…” Natasha says with a smile, fully expecting the outraged look on the archers face. “You _told_ him? Are you crazy? You met him yesterday! He could have exposed you! Do you have any idea how dangerous that was?”

“I do.” Natasha says, steady and calm. She doesn’t regret her decision. “But I trust him. Is that wrong of me?”

Clint pauses, turning his head towards the closed guestroom door and she knows that he is sensing something that she can’t. Then he sighs, turning back to her. “No… You can trust him… He’s a good man…”

“I’m not going to out you to him.” Natasha says with a smile as she lets go of Clint. “But I am going to out the fact that you know about me.”

“I think… I think I’ll wait… At least for now…” Clint sighs and sits down again.

When Bruce comes out of the room again, Clint and Natasha are watching TV on the couch. Natasha’s necklace is on the table, filling the room with her presence as Otherkind. There is a mark on the door, hidden in the moldings that keep her presence confined to the apartment. Bruce looks from one to the other for a moment, but then just sits down on Natasha’s other side and joins them.


	4. Clint

Enough is enough, so Clint goes to find Phil. After some serious sweet-talking, he learns that the Captain has gotten a small apartment in Brooklyn. It reminds him of his life before the war, apparently.

It’s easy to get there and the building is nondescript, nothing you’d expect a world famous war hero to live in. That’s what makes it so perfect for him. It also means that the security is limited and Clint easily sneaks in. He’s not really trying to hide, but if the Captain wants to live in secret, Clint won’t be the one to expose him. He knows what it’s like to want to keep a low profile.

Sneaking in means that no one hears him before he is close enough to hear them and years of being a spy means that he freezes when he hears a door open on the floor above. No one else is in the building so the voices easily carry down to him. Two voices. One he knows very well.

“ – have to get back to Clint…” Movement. Someone walks out and stops, turning perhaps.

“Do you think he suspects anything?” A stranger’s voice. Strong, commanding. Maybe worried.

“No. And I intent to keep it that way.” There is a finality to Phil’s voice that scares Clint. He stays unmoving on the floor below, listening with his heart in his throat.

“Good. Be careful.” More movement. Clothes on clothes. Most likely a hug. Maybe more. Clint never finds out. He bolts. He leaves as quietly and as quickly as he came and hurries to an apartment that no longer feels like home.

When Phil comes back, Clint is packing a bag. His movements are hurried and violent, anger making him careless and more than once he tears or drops what he is holding.

“Clint, wha…” Phil stops in the door to the bedroom, staring into the mess Clint’s frantic packing has left behind. “What are you doing?”

“I’m leaving!” Clint says, not even looking up. He doesn’t want Phil to see the tears in his eyes, he won’t let him have that victory. “I can’t do this anymore. I won’t!”

Phil hurries into the room, grabbing Clint and forcing him to be still long enough to look at him. “What are you talking about? Baby, talk to me. Whatever it is, we can work it out. We can – “

Clint pulls away angrily. “No! Don’t! I heard you! You and him, that… That monster! I can’t believe I was that stupid!”

Phil pauses, his eyes wide in surprise. And guilt. So Clint was right all along. “Clint, I can explain… I…”

“No! Let go of me. Leave me alone!” Clint grabs his bag, uncaring that it’s still open and only half packed. He grabs it tightly and takes a step towards the door. “Don’t follow me. Don’t try to contact me. I don’t want to see you ever again!”

Then he turns and leaves, almost running from the room. He ignores the pleading voice behind him, he ignores that Phil keeps calling his name long after he is out the door. He ignores all of it and flees to the only place he can find any kind of home now.

Natasha takes him in. Of course she does. She loves him and he needs her more than ever. Clint had managed to hold on to himself on the way over, giving off an air of anger that meant he was left alone on the street, but now he falls apart, crying in her arms. He feels broken and small and Natasha holding him is the only reason he is still able to breathe.

Bruce is still there. He was supposed to look for an apartment, but neither he nor Natasha seems in a hurry for him to move. They have taken a clear liking to each other. On better days, Clint would tease her about it. Today, he can’t manage to even care. Maybe he’ll be ashamed of breaking down in front of Bruce later, but right now, it doesn’t matter. Natasha is there and she is the only thing he has left in the world.

It feels like forever where his world is nothing but pain and tears, but at some point, even his tears run dry and he is just leaning on Natasha, feeling hollow and cold. Bruce makes tea and Natasha puts something more in his. It numbs the pain a little. At some point he falls asleep.

**

He wakes up in Natasha’s bed, wrapped in her favorite comforter, feeling unsteady and more tired than when he fell asleep. He can’t muster the strength to get up, so he just lies there, staring at the well. It’s a nice wall. The paint is even and smooth, white with a slight blue hue. He can just make out the shape of a dresser in the darkness. He knows it’s an antique, elaborately carved with delicate decorations. He went with her to buy it. It’s familiar. It helps a little.

After some time there is a soft knock on the door and Natasha comes in with a tray. “Hey… How are you feeling?”

Clint just grunts. He has no words right now. There are no words to explain what he feels.

Natasha understands. She sits down next to him, running a hand down his back over the comforter. She puts the tray down on the table by the bed. “I called work. I told them we couldn’t come in today and that I didn’t know how long we’d be gone.”

He doesn’t answer. Some day, when he feels better, he’ll be grateful for her help, but right now, he doesn’t feel anything. It’s better. The dark, hollow feeling in his chest is better than the shredding agony he felt before.

She runs a hand over his back again, rubbing his shoulder. “I know you don’t want to do anything right now, but you need to eat something. You don’t have to hurry, but you have to eat. I’ll come back for the plates later.”

She leans in over him to place a kiss at the small sliver of skin poking out of the comforter before getting up and leaving again. The room becomes dark and quiet then.

He doesn’t move for a long time. Whatever Natasha made for him grows cold. It’s probably hours before he finds the energy to move. Just sitting up takes a long time and he has no actual desire to eat, but he knows Natasha is only giving him the option to eat himself before she comes and forces him. He’ll be grateful for this too, some day.

**

He turns off his phone. Phil keeps calling, texting, trying to explain. Clint doesn’t want to hear it. His phone stays off.

**

It’s a testament to how heartbroken Clint is that he doesn’t notice that Natasha is not sleeping on the couch for two days. He stays in her room a lot, sleeping most of the time, staring at nothing when he is awake. But Natasha loves him and she shows that love by forcing him out of the room to have dinner with her and Bruce.

So he eats with them. He knows he is not good company, but they still want him there. Natasha is the family he never had and Bruce is patient and understanding. Being with them makes his heart hurt a little less.

When he finally sees it, he can’t stop seeing it. The small touches, the gentle smiles, the light in Natasha’s eyes that have never been there before. A happiness that isn’t culled by his gloom. A small proof that there is something good in the world, something worth living for. It’s not obvious and he knows Natasha is trying to spare him.

Bruce still goes to work, but Natasha stays home. She doesn’t question him, doesn’t ask if she needs to stay or how long he plans on being a useless mess. She is just there. Slowly, he starts feeling grateful.

**

He finds her reading on the couch one day. He hasn’t showered or changed his clothes since he got there, he doesn’t have the energy. Natasha says nothing about it when he sits down next to her, she just puts an arm around him and gives his cheek a brief kiss before returning to her book.

They stay like that for a while before Clint breaks the silence. “Are you in love with him?”

“Would I tell you if I were?” Natasha says without looking up. Clint shrugs and leans a little more on her, resting his head on her shoulder.

“I care about him… He’s different than the other people I know, the agents and soldiers and fighters and spies… He’s kind and genuine and clever… He doesn’t care about advancing, he just wants to do what he is good at and help people… I like that… I think I need different in my life…” Her voice is soft as she talks, a little dreamy. She really must like him a lot. Clint smiles, actually feeling something akin to happiness for the first time since leaving Phil. He wants Natasha to be happy, even if he himself is unable to right now.

“You don’t have to hide it… I’m not… I can stand seeing you be happy… I want you to be happy…” Clint says quietly. Natasha runs a hand through his hair. “You are allowed to hurt… Even if it’s because of me and Bruce…”

“It… It doesn’t hurt… It helps, knowing that happiness is still something that can be found… Something that other people feel… Something I’m going to feel again… Some day…” She is not wearing her necklace, so she knows he is telling the truth. She smiles and gives him another kiss. “If it helps you, I’ll make sure not to hide it anymore. It’s no hardship for me, really.”

Clint laughs. It’s quiet and broken and short lived, but he does laugh. It feels good.

Natasha puts her book away and turns on the TV. Without even asking she starts ‘Robin Hood: Men in Tights.’ It’s a little silly, but he always liked it and it helps him feel better. Especially knowing that Natasha doesn’t really like the movie.

They are still watching when Bruce comes back. He seems to be exceptionally good at reading the room, because he just sits down next to Natasha and watches the last half hour with them before making dinner. He is a quiet, stable presence. He doesn’t seem to be threatened by Clint sitting in Natasha’s arms in any way. It’s nice. Clint can see why Natasha likes Bruce.

**

After a week, Clint convinces Natasha to go back to work. He stays in her apartment, but he is better and can handle being left alone during the day. He watches a lot of bad TV and eats a lot of ice cream that Natasha buys for him. Bruce shows him a series on historical weapons and on good days he watches it, trying to find some way to improve his own bow.

On bad days he hides in Natasha’s bed and cries until he can’t breathe anymore.


	5. Tony

When they caught him, they broke his chest and exposed his heart.

When they split him open, they hadn’t expected the pure blue light to shine from his chest cavity. They didn’t understand and it scared them. Yinsen saved him, convinced them that the blue light was useful and not dangerous. But there was no way to hide it any more.

Tony always knew he was different. When he was a kid, his mother pulled him aside and explained that no one could ever know what made him different. She taught him to hide it and never let anyone know. His father never mentioned it. Tony didn’t ask if he knew and ignored it or if his mother never told him. He’ll never know.

So he never told anyone. Not Pepper, not Rhodey, not Happy. He hid and stayed alone. He loves his friends, but there is a part of him they will never know. It means he is alone. Even in the arms of someone, he is always alone.

He learned to explain his skills. He learned to make machines that worked even without him and he learned to explain why some of the things he made only worked for him. He learned to explain JARVIS and Dum-E and U and Butterfingers. He became good at hiding.

It’s not that Tony isn’t a genius, who could have made wonderful things as a normal human. It’s just that the things he makes are usually a little better than the competitor, a little smarter, a little sleeker, a little tougher.

He is paying for that now. Paying for being the best and for making weapons.

They tell him to make weapons and he agrees, because it's the only answer that will keep him alive. Yinsen helps him. Tony yells that he needs the man, needs his steady hands when they threaten to put glowing coal in his mouth. They help each other as best the can.

Tony’s chest is still open. It hurts. Yinsen did what he could, but there is no way to rebuild his sternum now that it’s broken. Some days, when they think he isn’t working hard enough or he talks back to them or they are just bored, they tie him down and jam a wire into the pulsing blue light. They hook him up to a generator, to their computer system, to a car. They laugh as he screams, as the blue light fades and it feels like his heart is ripped from his chest. When he passes out, they unhook him and throw him back in the cell. Yinsen tries to repair the damaged, but every time there is less he can do. It’s going to kill Tony, they both know it.

So Tony makes a plan. He builds a weapon unlike any other, but he has no intentions of giving it to them. They wouldn’t be able to use it anyway.

Wearing the suit doesn’t hurt, not like what they did to him. It feels right.

Fighting in the suit is unnatural at first, but when he gets the hang of it, no one can stop him. Yinsen saves him again and becomes another life lost to The Merchant of Death.

**

Somehow, Tony gets rescued, gets back to New York, refuses medical attention, holds a press conference and retreats to his workshop without anyone seeing him. There is a slightly bent metal plate under his shirt, hiding the light. The masking sign is on the backside, pressed against his skin.

In his workshop, he is greeted by his bots and by JARVIS. Finally safe, he takes the plate off and looks at his chest in the mirror for the first time. The hole in his chest is broken and jagged and ugly, exposing him painfully. It hurts every time he moves, every time he breathes. Seeing his chest open like this makes him terrified. But Tony Stark fixes things. Even when that thing is his own chest.

So he builds. He makes a metal casing with glass and fits it into the hole over his heart. He places a masking sign on the metal, flush against his skin and hidden like him. It feels heavy in his chest, but it doesn’t hurt as much. And he is safe again. He is hidden.

And he is still Tony Stark, so when he gets stuck on a project or can’t bear the loneliness any longer, he goes out. Finding someone is easy. They all want something from him, his mind, his body, his money, his fame. He lets them do what they want and when they hold him, he feels a little less alone, just for a moment. But he never takes his shirt off and he never lets anyone touch his chest. He puts opaque glass in the metal casing and hides his heart. When they are done, he sends them away, not wanting anyone to see his nightmares. He stays hidden.

At least until Stane shows up and paralyses Tony to get to the Arc Reactor, as he calls it. It’s just another thing he had to explain as a mechanical wonder from the incredible Tony Stark. It’s easy to hide it behind bravura, big words and showmanship. It’s easy to direct the attention away from it to the suit. Tony saw what they did with his weapons and he needs it to stop. Death cannot be his only legacy. So he builds the suits, finds the weapons and destroys them. Again and again and again. And when they ask, he tells them the glowing light is a power core. He tells them he built it in the cave. He lies.

And Stane believes him. Until he pulls out the casing and sees that the glow isn’t some machine that Tony made, but his heart, exposed by the broken sternum.

“You’re one of them!” Stane hisses when pulls the metal out of Tony, crushing it in his hand. “That’s why you’re so hard to kill. That’s where all your skills come from. The great Tony Stark. You’re nothing more than a freak!”

Tony has slipped from the sofa by then, his body still unmoving and filled with pain. He can’t even scream as Stane bends down over him. “I wanted the Reactor. I _need_ that technology Tony. And I plan to get it. Even if I have to pry it out of your cold, dead chest!”

Tony would flinch if he could, but his body is only just starting to listen to him again and he can’t get away. In that moment, Tony knows Stane is going to kill him.

Then everything becomes chaos. The lights flicker, becoming way too bright before turning off completely, the TV turns on with the volume so high that it’s hard to understand the words, the speakers start blasting Tony’s playlist, AC/DC’s _Thunderstruck_ screaming at them from every corner of the room. It’s pandemonium.

It takes a moment for Tony to recover from the onslaught. It takes Stane longer. Not much, but just enough that Tony can make his body respond again and roll under the couch, away from Stane. There is only one stable light in the room and it’s coming from the stairs leading to the workshop. It’s a guide, Tony realizes. It’s JARVIS, trying to save him.

“Thank J.” Tony mumbles as he forces his reluctant body to crawl over the floor towards the stairs. Behind him, Stane is swearing at the frenzied electronics and suddenly there is a loud blast and the TV grows quiet. Tony doesn’t dare look back, but he has a sinking feeling in his gut that he knows what made that sound. It is far too familiar.

He stumbles down the stairs, falling more than a few steps. JARVIS turns the light off behind him, but it’s not enough to prevent Stane from following.

“You can’t run from me Tony!” Stane shouts as he tramples after the engineer. “I’ll find you. And when you are dead, I’ll let the world know what you were. They’ll thank me for ridding them of you.”

Tony reaches the workshop, still falling over his own feet. “Close the door JARVIS. Lockdown!”

The door slides shut behind him, the glass turning black. Tony knows it’s not enough. He stumbles again, crawling the last of the way to his suit. His body still doesn’t act the way it should, but the suit will help correct that.

Another blast shakes the room and the blackened glass starts to crack. “Do you recognize it Tony? It’s the only thing we can power without you, but it’s enough to get what I really want.” Stane yells as the room shakes again.

“Sir, without the protective metal casing, using the suit will put a strain on your heart. Prolong use will cause permanent damage.” JARVIS warns him as Tony slowly gets enveloped by metal.

“Then I’ll just have to dispatch of the maniac trying to kill me quickly.” Tony answers as a final blast shatters the glass. The faceplate snaps shut as Stane enters the workshop. On his right hand is a huge, slightly glowing gauntlet. It’s twice the size of Tony’s gauntlet and must pack a terrifying amount of firepower.

“When I’m done with you, I’ll take my time going through your toys. I’m sure we can make use of everything you leave behind.” Stane says, turning the gauntlet towards Tony.

The first blast slams into him and he hears the metal cracking. Far more firepower than his own gauntlet. What Stane made is meant to destroy. To kill.

He is going to kill Tony.

There isn’t enough room to fly, so Tony is grounded. But he is not defenseless. Taking half a step back to regain his balance, Tony lifts both hands and shoots at Stane. It’s enough to knock him off his feet, but not enough to incapacitate him. Even before he gets up again, Stane fires a shot towards Tony. This time, it misses, but it hits the wall and starts a chain reaction. It is no surprise that there are a few volatile things in the workshop, but despite popular belief, Tony does actually try to factor in safety when he works. He just never factored in a crazy person trying to blow up his workshop.

Stane hits something. Tony has no idea what, because he is distracted by the explosion it creates. It throws him to the floor and makes part of his house crumble into the sea. That’s the problem with the expensive Malibu location, right by the water and on a cliff. Now there is a hundred foot drop in his workshop. He can hear the sea far below.

“Several systems are inoperable Sir. The suit has been severely damaged by the explosion.” JARVIS informs him. Tony grunts. “Tell me something I don’t know.”

“Chaos won’t save you.” Stane gets to his feet again, aiming his gauntlet at Tony. “I will have that reactor.”

Tony dodges the next shot thanks to a tip from JARVIS. It’s easier to control his body in the suit, but not as easy as it should be. The aftereffects of the paralysis means that it is still painful to move and his heart is hurting more than normally. Stane moves closer, aiming the gauntlet again. “Come on Tony, there is no need to fight this. If you give up, I’ll make it fast.”

Turning towards Stane, Tony shoots towards him, hitting just above his shoulder. His targeting seems to be one of the systems damaged by the explosion.

“Seem like I have some improvements to make. Your aim is off.” Stan laughs and points his gauntlet towards Tony again.

“Sir, I must warn you that the suit is not able to handle another direct hit.” JARVIS says. Tony stumbles to his feet, letting the speakers in his helmet carry his words. “I don’t need to aim.”

Then he transfers power from the gauntlets to the rocket boosters. The move leaves Stane surprised enough that he doesn’t react before Tony slams into him, his shoulder hitting Stane in the chest, hurling both of them over the edge and into the hole created by the explosion. For a moment, they grapple in the air, Stane trying to hold on to the suit as Tony tries to get free.

It ends when Tony fires the chest beam at Stane, sending a painful spike through his heart and making Stane let go. They are almost at the surface of the water, so Tony has to move quickly to avoid crashing. He manages to avoid the water and starts climbing when Stane disappears into the dark water below him.

A few moments later, Tony lands in his workshop again. He is unstable and dizzy with pain.

“The police are on their way Sir.” JARVIS says quietly. Tony just nods. He feels numb. Drained and tired. Tony has killed before. He killed the men who captured him in the cave. He killed the terrorists who used his weapons. He just never expected to kill someone who he until recently saw as family.

**

When the police arrive, Tony has removed the suit, replaced the metal casing and hidden the blue glow under a shirt. The glow seems dimmer than usually and the pain hasn’t gone away. He explains as much as he can, hiding most of the truth. JARVIS finds the surveillance video of the attack and removes the sound before showing the parts that won’t expose Tony. No one seems to doubt that Tony is the victim and when he has given his statement, the police leave.

It’s dark out and Tony feels cold and broken. He stumbles into the workshop, uncaring of the huge broken area and the howling wind coming in from the sea. The workshop feels more like home than anything else and he needs home. His bots are here.

Tony grabs a blanket and curls up in a corner. Dummy, U and Butterfingers roll over to him, beeping worriedly and poking him carefully. Tony pats them tiredly until they calm down and huddle up around him. The metal is cold and hard against his skin, but they are the closest he has to family and he needs them.

“JARVIS… Talk to me?” Tony asks quietly.

“Of course Sir.” JARVIS answers and starts reading aloud from one of Tony’s science magazines. It’s something he has read before and even then he knew most of it. It doesn’t matter. He just needs to hear a familiar voice. It makes him feel less alone.

Surrounded by his animatronic family, Tony slowly falls asleep.


	6. Clint and Phil

Raised voices wake him up. He was sleeping. It is a bad day and he just wants to hide in bed until everything goes away. Apparently, he can’t have that.

“I told you,” Natasha says in that loud way that means she is mad but trying really hard to keep her voice down. “He doesn’t want to see you! And he has good reason to feel like that.”

“Please. I just need a chance to explain. I need to talk to him!” It’s pleading. There was a time where Clint would have done anything for that voice. Now hearing it just hurts.

Clint hides deeper under the covers, but it doesn’t help. They keep talking and the cover is not enough to keep the sounds out. To be honest, he expected this. Phil is tenacious and stubborn. It was obvious that Clint would go to Natasha, so he wasn’t hard to find. Really, Clint had kind of expected him to get there earlier. Maybe he spent the time with the Captain. That probably made him forget all about Clint.

That thought makes Clint curl up and hide his face in the blanket. He just wants it all to go away. He doesn’t want to hear Phil’s voice, doesn’t want to hear Phil say his name. But he needs to get this over with. Phil isn’t going to go away. He won’t give up until he gets to talk to Clint. Better to do it now.

It takes some time before he can convince his body to move. The voices keep talking, but he isn’t paying attention to the words any more. He already knows what they say.

He doesn’t bother to get dressed or wash up. He still hasn’t showered, his hair is a mess and he is wearing a ratty shirt and some old sweatpants. It doesn’t matter. Nothing really matters anymore.

The voices quiet down when Clint opens the door. Both Natasha and Phil turn towards him. Phil looks… Normal. He is wearing a suit, he’s shaved and showered. He looks like it could be any other normal day. Except his eyes. His eyes are red rimmed and a little too wide, almost panicked. Like when a mission goes wrong.

“Clint…” Phil pauses, looking at him. He seems sadden by what he sees. Probably because Clint can’t measure up to the amazing Captain America.

Natasha sends him a look. One of those looks that say a lot more than it should be able too. Clint waves her of. “’s fine. I knew this was coming…”

“Do you want me to stay?” She asks and Clint shakes his head. He can handle this alone. He has to. She’ll be there when he falls apart again.

“I’ll be in here if you need me.” Natasha goes to the guestroom that she shares with Bruce. Clint is still sleeping in her bedroom.

When the door is closed, there is an awkward pause where the two men just look at each other. Clint isn’t going to start. He told Phil to stay away. Some part of him wants to yell at Phil and make him leave, but he is just too tired. He doesn’t have the strength.

Phil takes a deep breath. “Clint… Are you okay?”

Clint lets out a huff. “Do I look okay?” When Phil doesn’t answer, Clint sighs. “What do you want? I told you I didn’t want to see you.”

“I know, but I couldn’t… I had to see you. You have to let me explain!” He says, but Clint just shakes his head. “I don’t have to do anything. You did this! You and him. Your incredible hero. You put yourself in this situation.”

Phil looks away, keeping his eyes on the floor. “Did you tell anyone?”

“’s none of their damn business.” Clint says, crossing his arms across his chest. It gets quiet again and the quiet is a hard and cold thing between them, like a knife. It hurts. Clint can’t guess what Phil is thinking and that hurts even more. He used to know Phil so well.

Phil wants to explain. To talk. To draw it out. Clint can’t handle that. He just wants it to be over so he can go back to bed. He needs to end it quickly.

“Just… At least tell me you love him… Tell me you didn’t throw us away over a crush…” Clint says, feeling broken and defeated. If he can hear Phil say it, then it’ll be over. There will be no going back. Then he can begin to move on.

“Love him?” Phil looks surprised. “Why would… Oh… Oh honey, did you think… No, Clint, no! I don’t… I don’t love him. That’s not why… Oh God baby, I would never… “

“You were sneaking around with him. Hiding things from me.” Clint says. He wants to be angry, but he just feels so tired.

“Not that, I… I’m so sorry my love… I should have told you sooner…” Phil sighs and takes off his watch. It fills the room immediately, familiar and yet completely unknown. “This is what I was hiding.”

The feeling of Otherkind is enough to make Clint speechless. He had wondered, several times, but never actually thought Phil would be anything but human.

“You… You’re…” Clint gasps. Phil nods. “I never told you… I was afraid of losing you… But I think I have already because I didn’t tell you…”

Clint doesn’t know what to do. For a very long time, he just stares at Phil. It clearly makes the man uncomfortable, from the way Phil is shifting on his feet. He is worried what Clint thinks, what he is going to do.

When Clint finally moves, it’s a mad scramble to get the stud out. It was never this hard before, but for some reason, he can’t quiet get it now, so it takes some fumbling before it comes out. While he does that, Phil just looks at him with a confused expression. Then it’s out and Phil’s eyes widen. “You… Oh God… I had no idea…”

“I never told… Natasha is the only one who knows…” Clint whispers. He is clutching the stud in his hand, shaking a little. The feeling of Otherkind is strong in the room now and Clint is glad Natasha has a masking sign on the door. Otherwise the entire building would know.

“Clint, I… What I was doing with Steve… What I was hiding… It was this… I spend so much time with him because he knows and I finally had a chance to be free. I never thought you’d… I didn’t think about how it looked…” Phil says slowly. He takes a careful step closer and Clint doesn’t go to meet him. But he doesn’t move away either.

“Clint… My love… Please…” Phil holds out his hands. He is standing just in front of Clint. He didn’t realize they were so close. Clint hesitates. He remembers doing this with Natasha. They always had each other, no matter what else happened. But this is different. This is Phil.

Clint takes his hand. And immediately falls to his knees. Phil follows him down and pulls him closer without letting go of his hand.

It’s the love that does it. The deep, unwavering love coursing from Phil into Clint. The same love he used to feel, before everything went wrong because of a misunderstanding. The love that bound them together for so long. The love that is still there, buried underneath the anguish of Clint’s broken heart.

At some point, their fingers get intertwined and Phil is holding Clint when he starts to cry. They are so close like this, two souls merging into one. It’s different from when he does it with Natasha. She loves him too, but not like this. Nothing ever felt like this.

It leaves him feeling dazed and a little unsteady. It’s almost too much.

Phil places a soft kiss in Clint’s messy hair. “You okay?”

“You love me…” Clint mumbles, leaning into Phil and hiding his face in the older man’s neck.

“I do. So very much.” Phil whispers. It’s all Clint needs. He sighs quietly and closes his eyes. Maybe they can stay like this forever. He would like that.

Time doesn’t exist. Nothing exists but the two of them and the love they share. It’s stronger than ever before and it’s slowly healing all the broken pieces of Clint’s heart.

After some indeterminable amount of time, a door opens somewhere close by.

“So you were both idiots…” There is a smile in Natasha’s voice. She must be standing in the door to the guest room, but Clint doesn’t bother to look. It’s not important. But Phil looks up, automatically tightening his grip on Clint. It’s protective and sweet and completely unnecessary. 

“She knows…” Clint slurs and kisses Phil’s neck. He wants to kiss Phil, but he doesn’t want to move, so that seems to be the best option.

“You broke him.” Natasha says, sounding amused. Phil looks down at Clint. “I… I wanted him to know how much I loved him… I may have overdone it…”

“He loves me…” Clint says, opening eyes he doesn’t remember closing. It’s important. He needs to tell her. Phil loves him and that is important. Clint has never felt so loved and treasured.

“I’m glad.” Natasha says, kneeling in front of them with a soft smile. “You deserve to be happy. Being without him never suited you.”

Clint just smiles and snuggles closer to Phil. They are together. Everything is good.

“Maybe we should move him to the couch? He’s going to be like this for a while.” Natasha says. It seems far away. Clint’s eyes are closed again. Phil kisses his head softly. “Yeah… Come with me honey… Come on…”

Phil pulls Clint to his feet and guides him to the couch, where they sit down. Clint doesn’t really care where they are, as long as Phil is there with him. He is still feeling strange and doesn’t want to let go.

“I feel drunk…” Clint mumbles, resting his head on Phil’s shoulder.

“It’s an endorphin high from sharing. I might have been a little overenthusiastic. It’s not dangerous.” Phil promises. Clint nods and nestles into Phil. It’s where he feels safe. Phil loves him. He is not in love with Steve. They are together and everything is right with the world. “Doesn’t feel dangerous… Feels good…”

“Just relax here with me… Nothing is going to happen…” Phil says and kisses him softly. Clint hums and closes his eyes again. It’s nice. They aren’t actively sharing anymore, but there is still the slight tingle from touching his own kind. He doesn’t really sit like this with Natasha, but quickly finds that he likes it. He still feels a little hazy, but it’s a good haze filled with love.

Natasha and Phil are talking next to him, but he doesn’t hear the words. They don’t seem important, so he just stays where he is, safe in Phil’s arms. For a long time, that is his entire world.

Then the door opens and suddenly everything is different. Phil is tense and there is a gun in his hand. Clint blinks a little confused, needing a moment before he can take the scene in.

Bruce is standing in the door, a grocery bag in one hand while the other rests on the doorknob. Phil is sitting up in the couch, turned towards him. One arm is holding Clint close, protectively, and the other is holding a gun, aimed at the scientist. Natasha is halfway out of her chair, somewhere between moving in front of Bruce and grabbing the gun, but stopped in the middle. Everything seems frozen.

For a second, Clint doesn’t understand the hostility. Why would Phil feel threatened enough by Bruce to pull a gun on him? Clint knows he always carry a gun, they all do, but he has never seen Phil pull it outside of work. Then he remembers. He took out the stud. Phil took off the watch. And Phil doesn’t know Bruce.

“Inside.” Phil commands. “Close the door.”

Brue does as he is told, moving slowly and carefully. He is obviously aware that any rash motions would not end well. The door wasn’t open long and the maskers along the doorframe should be enough to keep the hidden.

“Phil…” Clint says gently, placing a hand around Phil’s wrist. He doesn’t try to take the gun. Phil stays motionless, but Clint knows he is listening. “This is Bruce… He is a friend…”

Slowly, Phil lowers his gun but his eyes never leave the newcomer. Bruce places the bag on the floor. “I… Um… I got the bread you wanted…”

“Thank you.” Natasha says, quickly moving over to give him a brief kiss. 

“I’m guessing this is Phil…” Bruce says, looking to the still alert agent. Natasha nods. “Yes. We didn’t have time to explain to him. He is actually a nice person, when he isn’t in ‘protect Clint’-mode.”

“Bruce is a friend.” Clint says softly, because Phil is still tense and he hasn’t hidden the gun away yet. “We can trust him.”

“He knows?” Phil asks, still looking towards Bruce, but finally putting the gun away.

“He knew about me.” Natasha says, smiling. Phil looks up at her and raises an eyebrow. Natasha takes off her necklace. “He knows about you now.”

“You’re not…?” Phil asks, looking at Bruce, who shrugs. “Not like you. But not really human either.”

“Sorry about the gun… It’s… Been a long week…” Phil says, holding Clint a little closer.

“It’s okay. I know a little something about acting in anger.” Bruce sits down when Natasha nudges him over. She takes the groceries and packs them away.

Phil’s eyes widen when he realizes who Bruce actually is, but only for a fraction of a second. Clint is pretty sure Bruce doesn’t even see it, but Clint has known Phil for years and knows what to look for.

“I’m surprised there are so many of you.” Bruce says after a moment’s silence.

“Me too.” Clint smiles, intertwining his fingers with Phil’s again and leaning into him. “I never expected to meet anyone else. After Barney, my brother, left me, I was sure I’d never share with anyone again. Then I met Natasha and now… Now this…” Clint looks at their hands, fingers still laced together. As close as they can be. Phil smiles and gives him a kiss. “We have been lucky…”

Natasha comes over and sits down next to Bruce, placing a tray with tea and coffee on the table between them.

“How long have you known about each other?” Phil asks, looking from Clint to Natasha. She smiles. “We’ve always known.”

When Phil raises a surprised eyebrow, Clint smiles. “Remember when I was sent to eliminate the infamous Black Widow and returned with Natasha Romanoff, ready to join forces with S.H.I.E.L.D.? Well, when I found her, she wasn’t hiding. So I knew immediately. And I knew I could trust her. So I went there and showed myself. I shared myself. And she agreed to come back with me.” Clint smiles at Natasha, who winks at him. What he doesn’t tell is that Natasha wasn’t hiding because she was tired and hurt and wanted someone to find her. Someone who could end her. It’s not his secret to tell.

“Is that what you do? Know who to trust?” Phil asks. It feels like an intimate question, but there really isn’t any etiquette around it. Otherkind are too hidden to have many social rules. It’s not really that he doesn’t want to tell. He wants Phil to know.

“Yeah… That’s actually why I signed up with S.H.I.E.L.D…” Clint smiles, idly toying with Phil’s fingers and not looking at him. It seems a little embarrassing to admit. “Because I knew I could trust you… I knew you would never let me down… So when I thought you were… With Steve… It was… I got so scared…”

Phil holds him closer and places a long kiss on his forehead. “I’m sorry my love. I should never have hidden the truth from you.”

“’s okay. Everything is better now.” Clint smiles and tilts his head a little, so Phil can place a kiss on his lips as well.

“I should have asked you about this years ago.” Natasha says with a smile. Phil looks at her. “Why do you think I’d have told you?”

“I don’t.” She smiles, leaning back in her chair. “But I’d have known you were lying. That’s why I joined S.H.I.E.L.D. Because Clint didn’t try to lie to me.”

“Useful.” Phil smiles. “I’m staring to see why you are so successful in the field.”

Clint laughs and looks at Phil. He still feels a little giddy, but it’s not the sharing anymore. It’s knowing that he can be himself with Phil, knowing that there are no more secrets and that Phil still loves him. It’s being with someone like himself, two others like himself. It’s more than he has ever tried before and it feels wonderful. He is learning new things about himself again. When he first met Natasha, he had no idea that their powers would be different. He never talked to Barney about it, so he just expected they all were the same.

“I know where to be. I know when something is going to happen.” Phil says after a moment. “It helps in the field too. And… It’s another reason I’ve been spending so much time with Steve… Something is going to happen, something with him… And he won’t survive it alone…”

There is a moment’s silence after that. Clint knows what Natasha is thinking, that they both want to ask. But neither of them are going to and Phil wouldn’t tell them if they did. It’s one of the reasons Clint loves him.

“So we better help.” Clint says instead. “I think it’s time I get to meet him.”

“Me too.” Phil turns more fully towards Clint and takes his hands. His eyes are suddenly very sincere. “But not tonight. I want you to come back home. Will you come home? Please…”

With a smile, Clint puts his arms around Phil’s neck and pulls him in for a long kiss. “Let’s go home…”

**

Since Clint spent most of his time in Natasha’s bedroom and the bag he packed was only half full when he left, it’s quick to gather his things. Natasha helps him.

“You’ll be glad to have you bedroom back I guess…” Clint says, closing the bag after a last glance around.

“It’s not like I’ve had trouble sleeping. Bruce is very comfortable.” She says with a smile. “But I am glad you are going back home.”

“Yeah… Me too…” He pauses, turning to her. “I… I just wanted to say… Thank you… I know I wasn’t easy to deal with, but you are always there when I need you and I just want you to know…. That means a lot to me…”

Natasha doesn’t answer. She just smiles and holds him close for a moment before they go back to the others.

Phil is wearing the watch again and Clint is a little disappointed. It’s the same disappointment he feels every time Phil starts to get dressed after they’ve had sex. He prefers being able to see all of his boyfriend.

“Are you ready?” Phil smiles.

“Almost. I just need… Where’s…” Clint grabs his ear and starts looking around. He remembers taking the stud out, but then Phil had touched him and he has no idea what happened to it afterwards.

“Here…” Phil steps over and hands it to him. “You dropped it.”

With a grateful smile, Clint takes the earring and puts it back in. Taking Phil’s hand seems different now, even if this is how it used to feel. It must be because he knows there is more.

Goodbyes are kept short. Clint thanks Natasha again and she hugs him again. They agree to talk soon, but for now, all Clint wants is to go home with the man who loves him.


	7. Phil and Clint

Being without Clint had been the worst thing that ever had happened to Phil. Coming home to find him packing had been horrifying.

Clint had said that he knew and while Phil didn’t understand how he had found out, he had tried to explain. It hadn’t worked and Clint had left.

Phil didn’t need his other senses to know that he would only make it worse by following Clint. He knew where the archer was going, but he also knew that Clint would not be able to listen to him for a long time.

So he stayed in the apartment alone, crying. If he’d been smart, he would have left, gone into hiding. If Clint called the IOKC, they’d find him easily at home. But he couldn’t leave and he didn’t care if they found him.

The IOKC never came.

**

The next day he’d gone to tell Steve. The soldier deserved to know that something might happen, but somehow they ended up talking about how much Phil already missed Clint and neither did anything to try to hide.

He wanted to go talk to Clint right away, but Steve had convinced him to wait a while. To let them both settle. It was hard, knowing that Clint was hurting somewhere and not being able to do anything. Knowing that he was the reason for that pain.

So Steve had gotten him drunk. He had been a sad drunk and Steve had suffered through his lamenting and wailing and sobbing. Poor Steve, who couldn’t even get drunk anymore, had just listened and let him cry and sleep on the couch when he had finally collapsed.

The next day he felt like shit, but still somehow better. Steve had convinced him to stay home from work and he ended up sitting on the couch, watching Steve draw. It had been quiet, but it had helped.

Instead of spending all day thinking about Clint, Phil went to work the day after, silently hoping to meet Clint. He didn’t and when he asked, he learned that both he and Natasha had taken some personal time off.

Phil kept going to work. He had a tiny hope that Clint would return, but he didn’t. Still, working helped him forget that his apartment was empty and he had lost the person most important to him.

When Natasha did come back to work, she avoided him like the plague. And when Natasha doesn’t want to see you, you don’t see her. Phil tried, certainly, but every time someone told him where she was, he’d arrive just after she had left.

In the end, he went to her apartment to talk to Clint. He had been yelling at her, trying to convince her to let him see Clint, when the archer had emerged from her bedroom, shabby and scruffy and unkempt. His eyes had been red and black at the same time and all Phil had wanted to do was to hold him and protect him. But he couldn’t. Because Clint knew and hated Phil for it.

Except he didn’t know. Phil had been surprised to learn that Clint had thought him to have an affair with Steve, that the reason Clint was heartbroken was that he believed he’d lost Phil.

Everything happened quickly after that. Learning that Clint was Otherkind and Natasha too, sharing with Clint, getting him back. Meeting Bruce, who wasn’t Otherkind, but definitely was some kind of ‘other’. Not in a way that endangered him with the IOKC luckily, but enough that he understood.

It had been a bit much, but all worth it, because now Phil is in bed with Clint wrapped around him like a limpet, more naked than ever before. The earring and watch are both on the table next to them.

“I love you…” Phil says quietly in the darkness. “I’m sorry I hurt you so much… I should just have told you…”

“I should have told you too…” Clint says, placing a kiss on Phil’s collarbone next to where his head is resting. “I knew I could trust you… I was just… Scared…”

“Yeah… Me too… No more secrets?”

“No more secrets if they are mine to give…” Clint says and Phil understands. He would never tell Clint about Steve and he knows that Clint would never have told him about Natasha. There are thing they keep for others and he knows to respect that. It’s one of the things he loves about Clint.

**

They hadn’t done much that night. Getting naked and unmasked and lying together had been the goal for both of them, too exhausted by the day for anything more than kissing and promises of love.

The morning, however, is a different story.

“Have you ever had sex unmasked?” Clint says as soon as he wakes up, sending Phil a sly smile, which the agent returns with a small laugh. “Given that the only one who knew before I met you was my mother, that’s a hard no. But I’ve always wanted to. Especially when we got together. I thought a lot about taking off my watch with you…”

“Me neither…” Clint mumbles, his voice a little obscured by the fact that he is kissing Phil’s face and neck. “For the longest time, I just knew Barney… And when I met Natasha, I was already pretty gone for someone else…”

Phil opens his mouth to answer, but Clint hasn’t stopped moving, his hands now on the agent’s hips and his lips on his chest. Clint’s tongue glances Phil’s nipple, making his entire body tingle and he can’t help but let out a breathless moan.

Clint stops, looking up at him. “Good?”

“Yeah… It’s… Really good…” Phil breathes, making Clint smile broadly and resume his work. It only takes a few moments before Phil is a begging mess beneath Clint.

He doesn’t do it on purpose. He doesn’t have the focus to do that. It just happens. Because it just feels so good and Clint is there and they are still together and they are both unmasked and he wants Clint to feel good too. So he grabs the archer’s arm and shares the feeling.

The reaction is instantaneous, as Clint collapses onto Phil with a strangled moan. “God, don’t do that without warning me…”

“You were doing it to me…” Phil smiles, pulling Clint up for a kiss. Clint laughs, but doesn’t stop moving. And now Phil can reach him too, can touch his sides, his chest, his back and arms. Every touch, every kiss is amplified by sharing it and nothing but Clint exists in the world. Nothing but the two of them, together.

They just move together and it shouldn’t feel so good, but it does. It feels wonderful and Phil isn’t even sure who is doing what.

“Phil… Fuck, Phil, I’m gonna…” Clint gasps, his breath hot on Phil’s skin.

“I know… Me too… Don’t… Nnngh… Don’t stop…” Phil pulls Clint closer, enjoying the taste of the archer’s skin.

He barely gets the words out before it crashes over him, pleasure like he has never felt before. He feels Clint’s hands gripping tighter and hears his voice somewhere that seems far away. It takes a long time before the world makes sense to him again.

When it does, he finds himself in the bed, entangled with a breathless Clint. He feels sated and relaxed and giddy. For a while, they just lie there, catching their breaths.

“You know my name, right?” Clint mumbles after a while. “’cause I’m not sure I remember…”

“I think there are ID cards in our wallets…” Phil answers, running his fingers through Clint’s hair. His lover sighs. “No… No, I’m never moving again… I can’t…”

Phil laughs and silently agrees. If feels like his bones are melted and getting up is impossible.

“Do you think it’ll be like this every time?” Clint asks after a while.

“I think it can be… But I also think we need to learn to control it a little better…” Phil says. Clint smiles. “Learning means practice… Lots and lots of practice… I’m up for that… Later…”

“Much later…” Phil agrees.

“It’s weekend, right?” Clint asks, yawning and closing his eyes. “You’re mine all day?”

“I’m yours always. But yes, it’s weekend. I don’t have to go in and you are still on personal leave…” Phil smiles, kissing Clint’s hair.

“Good… Wake me when it’s later…” Clint snuggles closer and sighs happily. Phil runs a hand up and down his back until Clint’s breathing is slow and even.

After a while, Phil grabs his phone, slowly, as to not wake Clint.

**Phil** : Clint left me because he thought I was having an affair with you. I told him the truth. We are good now.

He sends the message. Luckily, Steve will know what he means. Putting too much into text is dangerous and he doesn’t want to write any more than he has to. This has to be enough for now.

**Steve** : I’m glad to hear it! Is there anything I can do to make up for it?

Phil smiles. None of this was Steve’s fault, but the Captain still feels the need to make up for the misunderstanding. And actually, there is something…

**Phil** : He wants to meet you. Do you have time tonight?  
 **Steve** : Of course. I’ll make dinner. Is 7 okay?  
 **Phil** : It is. We’ll see you then.

With a smile, Phil follows Clint into sleep.

**

When he opens his eyes again, he looks straight in to Clint’s adoring blue. It makes Phil blush, something he doesn’t do often, but there is so much love there that he can’t help it. Even more so, because it is a love he feared he’d lost forever.

“Hey…” Clint leans a little closer to give him a kiss. Phil puts a hand on his cheek. “Hey yourself. Have you been awake long?”

“I don’t know…” Clint’s hand is resting on Phil’s chest, over his heart. “I think I felt you dreaming…”

“I didn’t know you could do that…” Phil says surprised. Now it’s Clint’s turn to blush a little. That happens more often. “I didn’t either… It was… Nice…”

They both lose a little time after that, kissing and touching, but nothing as much as before. It’s gentle and intimate and neither wants it to end.

They do separate eventually, if only to go shower together. Phil is reluctant to be anywhere he can’t touch Clint and the archer seems to feel the same, so after the shower they curl up in bed again with a few snacks, because none of them have eaten in a while.

“I told Steve we are back together… He was really worried…” Phil says when they’ve eaten and are just sitting together, holding each other.

“I’m sorry I misjudged him so badly…” Clint says a little too quietly. Phil kisses him. “I shouldn’t have lied to you. It doesn’t matter now. We both made mistakes, but we made it right again together.”

Clint smiles and nods, so Phil continues. “He invited us over for dinner tonight. So you can meet him.”

“That’s… That’s a good idea… If I’d met him I wouldn’t have…” Clint sighs, then seems to force the thought away. “I would like to meet him.”

Phil smiles.

The kissing resumes for a while after that, until they actually have to get up and get ready. They are in the bathroom when Phil pauses for a moment.

“You know, even if I wanted Steve – which I don’t!” Phil hastily adds when Clint looks up, “I couldn’t get him. He is still deeply in love with someone else. Someone from his own time. It’ll be a long time before that broken heart heals.”

“Oh…” Clint says quietly and Phil can see the sorrow he feels for the soldier he never met. “I had no idea…”

“I don’t think anyone does. He doesn’t like to talk about it.” Phil says, putting his arms around Clint and holding him close. “I’m so glad we… That it didn’t…”

“Yeah… Me too…” Clint says, before shutting him up with a kiss.

Putting on the watch again feels like a shackle. Phil knows he’ll be able to take if off once they get to Steve’s apartment, but after so long with no masking it feels uncomfortably restrictive. From the look on Clint’s face as he fastens his stud, he feels the same.

“I’m not asking you to tell Steve anything, but he already knows about me, so I’ll probably take my watch off when we get there. I usually do.” Phil says as them get ready to leave. Clint nods. “I don’t know yet… I think I need to meet him first…”

With a final kiss they leave, getting to Steve’s apartment as quickly as possible. It’s not the one he got from S.H.I.E.L.D. when he first woke up, Phil helped him find one in Brooklyn, in a brownstone that reminded Steve a little of the buildings from his childhood. The change in him had been obvious. Getting away from S.H.I.E.L.D. a little had made it easier for Steve to create his own life and gain a foothold in the future.

They arrive a little before 7. When they knock on the door, Steve quickly opens. He smiles and gives Phil a hug before holding out a hand. “You must be Clint. Phil has told me a lot about you.”

“He’s told me a lot about you too.” Clint says with a smile as he takes Steve’s hand. The captain holds the door open and they enter. Phil notices that Steve’s dog tags are hanging partially out of his shirt. He must have put them on recently. The masking symbol is hidden among the scratches on the bag. At a glance, the lines look completely random, so it’s safe for Steve to wear it in public. On the backside, among the meaningless scrawls, are a few words. _I’m with you ‘till the end of the line_. Phil only knows about those because he still shares with Steve when the soldier needs someone to save him from drowning.

“Dinner will be ready in a moment, just make yourselves at home.” Steve says before heading into the kitchen. Phil knows where everything is. He’s been here often enough to feel more at ease at Steve’s warm apartment than most other places in the world, except for the apartment he shares with Clint – when Clint is there with him, of course.

After checking the door is properly closed and that the masking sign is intact, Phil wastes no time taking his watch off. Then he notices the way Clint is looking after Steve.

“Is something wrong?” Phil asks, gently entwining their fingers. Clint knows about people. He will know about Steve, maybe even better than Phil does. Phil is not completely sure how it works, but he trusts Clint enough to take whatever he says as truth.

“No, not… Not wrong… It’s just… He’s different…” Clint says quietly. Phil nods. “I’d be surprised if he wasn’t. You don’t have to tell him.”

“I know.” Clint says. Steve comes out again with dinner and they quickly sit down at the table.

“I’m very sorry I caused trouble between you.” Steve says, straight to the point as always as he serves the food. “I would never try stealing Phil away, especially knowing how much he loves you.”

“Thank you. I… I should have talked to Phil instead of assuming the worst.” Clint says, then smiles as he realizes what Steve said. “Does he talk about me that much?”

“He does that too.” Steve smiles.

“Too?” Clint asks, looking from Steve to Phil. Steve turns a questioning look towards the older agent. “You didn’t tell him?”

“We agreed never to have secrets for each other. I’ve told him all of my secrets.” Phil says. He can see that Steve still doesn’t completely understand. “So… You didn’t say…?”

“Not my secret to tell.” Phil says calmly. He knows Clint understands. He knows there are secrets about Natasha Clint will never tell Phil and Phil would never expect him to.

“But you told him everything else?” Steve asks.

“I did.” Phil says, taking Clint’s hand. The archer is waiting surprisingly patiently, as least for Clint, while eating his food, but his eyes are attentively following the conversation.

“I trust him if you do.” Steve says calmly before removing the dog tags. Clint’s eyes widen in surprise as he takes in the overpowering feeling of Otherkind that comes from Steve. “So that’s why you spend so much time here…”

“Yes… I… I noticed when he was waking up and helped him hide until he got this apartment…” Phil says. Clint nods, absentmindedly fiddling with the stud in his ear.

“Does it bother you?” Steve asks, watching Clint attentively.

“No!” Clint says quickly, taking his hand away. “No, of course not. It’s just… It’s very strong… Stronger than Phil…”

“Oh… Right…” Steve looks down. “It’s… It wasn’t always like that… The serum did something to it… I’m not sure what… I never asked…”

“Probably smart of you. Well, if anybody else is going to…” Clint says with a smile and takes the stud out. Steve’s eyes widen in surprise, a mirror image of how Clint looked a moment ago. Then he starts laughing. Then Clint starts laughing and then Phil. It’s probably not even that funny, but it’s the relief, the knowledge that they are safe with each other and can share their true selves.

Dinner is much more pleasant after that. Steve and Phil explain how they met and Phil tells Steve what happens at Natasha’s, without revealing anything about Natasha or Bruce. It’s not their secrets to tell.

**

Dinner and dessert is long gone and they are enjoying the last remnants of coffee in the living room when Phil sees it. Actually sees it. Normally, he just gets a vague feeling of what to do or where to be. This time, he sees it as vividly as he sees Steve and Clint in front of him.

Instead of Steve’s comfortable living room, he sees a large room filled with equipment he doesn’t recognize. There is a hole in the floor. Somewhere in the distance, he can hear the sea. That’s not what draws his attention.

It’s the huddled form in the corner, surrounded by machines and covered in a blanket. There is a voice, but Phil can’t make out the words. The entire scene fills him with loneliness.

Then it’s gone and Clint is in front of him. “-an you hear me? Phil? Phil?”

Blinking a few times, Phil reaches out to grab Clint’s shoulder. He feels a little shaky and needs a moment to collect himself. “Yeah, I… I’m here… I’m…”

Steve is next to him, worry written all over his face. “You’re here? Where were you?”

“Somewhere we have to go…” Phil says quietly, as the knowledge slowly settles in his mind. He meets the eyes of the two men, confusion clear on their features, before asking: “What do you know about Tony Stark?”


	8. Stephen

Magic can be taught to human and Otherkind alike, but it does require an affinity. Stephen has that. And as Otherkind, he has more than that. It makes him stronger, better. It makes him Supreme.

Stephen was Otherkind before the accident that ruined his hands. Of course he was. Something like that doesn’t change. But it was a side of him he never accepted, a side he pushed away ruthlessly. Now, it’s a side he embraces. It’s the side that makes him who he is.

It’s a side he hides. But really, it’s just another thing to hide. Magic, demons, sorceress and spells are not things the average human needs to know about. So when he leaves the sanctuary, he hides more than just his true self. And Wong knows, so it’s really not that bad.

Wong is human but has a strong affinity for magic and is good company despite their differences. They make it work. Most of the time, it’s quiet and enjoyable.

It is not today. A demon tried to steal the dreams of several children on a nearby hospital and Stephen had to spend most of the day fighting it off. He won, but now he’s tired and sore and really just wants to hide in his study and sleep for several days.

When he falls asleep, he dreams. That in itself is not really a surprise, dreams are a fairly normal part of sleeping. So why is this different?

He dreams about a cave. He dreams about being broken and remade. He dreams about a heart of blue light.

He dreams about ice and lost time. He dreams about fighting for more than himself. He dreams about a painful heartbreak.

He dreams about running and hiding and fighting. He dreams about finding a place and love. He dreams about being seen for the first time. He dreams about a red room and green anger and white snow.

He dreams about Russian words and pain.

He wakes up to the sound of a beating heart that is not his own.

For a very long time, Stephen stays unmoving in the bed. He knows the dream-demon was the cause of this, but he doesn’t understand what this is. He just knows it is important.

Stephen goes through most of his day with a heartbeat that isn’t his echoing in his ears. Somewhere after lunch he gives up on working and tries to meditate instead. It helps for a little while, but every time he closes his eyes, a pulsing blue light fills his mind and the heartbeat seems to grow stronger.

It calls to him. So, driven by curiosity and ignoring his better judgment, Stephen let the call pull him in.

Loneliness hits him like a brick wall. It calls out for something, _anything_ , to take the pain away. To just _be there_. It takes Stephen a moment to steady himself. The call is so strong, so desperate, that Stephen is surprised he never noticed it before. Now that he has found it, there is no way he will be able to not hear the lonely heartbeat his every waking moment. Not unless he finds the source and stops it.

So he follows the call with less care than he knows he should, but he can’t help himself. He needs to be there yesterday.

He finds darkness and metal and the cold wind from the sea. It takes more skill than he would like to admit, but he finally narrows the feeling down to a physical place. He places a small spell there, a beacon that will guide him in the real world.

Still with the odd feeling of being surrounded by blue, pulsing light, Stephen opens his eyes.

“I’m going out.” He says, hurrying down the stairs.

“Where to?” Wong asks, peeking out from the library as Stephen reaches the door. Stephen lifts his hands, preparing the sling-ring and sends him a smile. “Malibu.”

**

He doesn’t bother with the front door, as he is pretty sure no one would answer. Instead, he enters inside the house to find a dark room and a broken TV. The beacon is close now, calling to him from down the stairs and Stephen follows. At the foot he finds what looks like a battlefield. There is broken glass, bend metal and rubble everywhere.

The beacon leads him to a corner. That is where he sees the source of the call.

Stephen knows about Tony Stark, of course he does. Everybody does. Even more since he came back and announced that Stark Industries no longer would produce weapons. The infamous billionaire genius playboy philanthropist had been in every magazine known to man with any model, actress or journalist who could get near him. And still, Stephen was sure, none of them had ever seen him like this.

Stark is squeezed in between several robots and the wall, mostly hidden in a ragged blanket. His hair is unkempt and his brown eyes, surrounded by black, are a little too wide. He pushes further into the corner when he sees Stephen. One of the robots unfolds and rolls towards the sorcerer, beeping and poking him with a claw-like contraption. It seems surprisingly protective.

“I would advise you to leave sir.” Says a clipped, British voice. Stephen can’t see or sense anyone else in the room, so he isn’t sure who is talking. But he knows why he is here.

“Not yet. I’ve come to talk to you, Mr. Stark.” Stephen says, dodging around the robot and kneeling in front of the cowered figure.

“Don’t… Please, just… Leave…” Stark whispers. It’s rough and broken. Stephen is starting to understand where the desperation in the call was coming from. The call seems weaker now, but no less distressed.

“I came because you called me here.” Stephen says kindly. Stark shakes his head, eyes still too wide, too scared. “I… I didn’t… Call…”

“You did.” Stephen persists gently, slowly reaching a hand towards him. “You heart calls out to me.”

Stark’s hand moves involuntarily towards his heart and his eyes grow even wider in fear. The robot next to Stephen nips at him with the claw, but Stephen pushes it away firmly. The robot is not his focus at the moment.

“Stark… You have nothing to fear from me…” Stephen says patiently, still holding out a hand. He has an idea of why Stark is scared and knows there is an easy fix to it. As a mage, it was never a problem to disguise himself. It is a simple spell to make the masking sign appear on his skin, hiding the truth from his surroundings.

Stark’s eyes are impossibly wide now, but the fear seems to have been replaced by confusion and maybe a little awe. “What… What is that?” He gasps, unfolding from the corner a little bit.

“It’s the feeling of Otherkind…” Stephen explains. He has a suspicion about Stark that explains much more than just the fear and desperation.

“Are… Are you…?” It’s hardly more than a whisper, but there is a tentative hope in Stark’s eyes now.

“I am.” Stephen admits. It’s a big risk, exposing himself like this, but he has a feeling it is the right move. And if not, he will find a way to keep Stark from telling anyone.

Slowly, hesitatingly, Stark unfolds the blanket, revealing a well-worn t-shirt and a faint blue light in the center of his chest. It’s the same light from Stephen’s dream, but there is something different about it, like watching sunlight trough a distant window. When Stark pulls the shirt up, Stephen understands why. There is a small metal frame around the blue light and a glass plate over it. Stark puts a hand over it and pauses.

Stephen doesn’t move. Any movement, any words, he fears, would scare Stark from doing this. So he waits patiently until Stark’s fingers close around the edges of the metal and pulls it out, leaving him unprotected and vulnerable. Stephen feels the soft, pleasant sensation of Otherkind as soon as the metal stops touching Stark’s chest.

“It seems that you are too.” Stephen says with a friendly smile. Stark still looks weary, but not as scared as before.

After a moment, Stark reaches out and takes Stephen’s hand. Even if Stephen have only tried touching his own kind a handful of times before, the pleasant tingle is still familiar to him. Stark, however, looks utterly stunned by it and stares at their joined hands. Normally (as much as something can be normal for their kind), the parent who passes on the genes that makes them Otherkind will teach the child about touching others and sharing. Stephen’s father had told him about sharing and hiding when he started showing signs of being something else than human. But Stephen has a rising suspicion that no one told Stark anything other than he had to always hide.

“It’s something, isn’t it?” Stephen says and smiles when Stark gives a small nod. “It’s not the only thing we can do.”

Then Stephen shares. It’s calm and gentle, because he has a great deal of control over himself and what he shows a stranger. Stark, on the other hand, has never tried sharing before and the unfamiliar experience means that his soul is laid bare before Stephen. All the pain and fear and crushing loneliness of always hiding, always making sure no one sees his true self, always only being the one the public is allowed to see.

In an instant, Stephen realizes what terrible power he has over Stark. One of the smartest men in the world and one of the riches and he would give it all to Stephen if he asked. Stark would give everything up if it would keep him from feeling so heartbreakingly, soul crushingly alone. If it would make Stephen stay.

Stephen is aware enough of both of them to notice when Stark starts crying, heaving sobs wreaking his body. He pulls gently on the hand he is still holding and Stark follows like a puppet on a string, crawling out from between the robots and into Stephen’s arms, curling up as close as he can, still desperate not to feel alone.

It makes Stephen share more than he intended. He shares the accident, letting Stark see that he knows what it means to be remade, he shares his amazement in the new world he found and he shares his joy in studying. Stark just clings to him, absorbing everything with a hunger born from pain. Stephen shares until he feels the pain recedes from Stark a little and the tears stop falling.

Both the robot and the British voice leave them alone, perhaps understanding that Stephen is not a threat.


	9. Tony and Stephen

When Tony starts coming back to himself, someone is holding him and his skin is tingling. It feels good. He feels safe.

Slowly opening his eyes, Tony sees that he is wrapped in some heavy, red fabric in addition to the arms holding him. The arms belong to a handsome man, who smiles at him gently.

“How do you feel now?” He asks, giving Tony a careful look that almost makes the engineer blush.

“I… I’m… Okay, I think… Confused…” Tony says slowly. He doesn’t mention the pain in his chest. He thinks he should move, sit up and act like an actual human adult, but he can’t bring himself to leave the safety of the stranger’s arms.

“You are still sleep deprived and dehydrated.” The man says, not moving to make Tony leave his lap. “We should get you something to eat too…”

“Oh… Okay… Um…” Tony still doesn’t move, just looks at the man carefully. He is still smiling. “My name is Stephen.” He says softly.

“I… Tony…” Tony replies lamely.

“I know.” Stephen says. He seems completely fine with holding Tony for however long they have been sitting here. Tony is still a little fuzzy on how he ended up like this, but he doesn’t have the energy to worry. He feels safe with Stephen and, right now, that’s all that matters.

A gentle chuckle makes him blink awake. Tony hadn’t realized he’d closed his eyes, but opening them seems much harder than configuring the rocket boots for the armor. He is nestled up to the warm body beneath him, close in a way he never experienced with the many one-night stands that came to his bed.

“We need to get you into a real bed.” Stephen says, amusement in his voice. He has a nice voice, Tony thinks, rich and soft at the same time.

“Don’t wanna move…” Tony mumbles. It’s hard to think and his body feels heavy.

“It’s okay… Let me take care of you…” Stephen says, moving slowly underneath Tony. He doesn’t let go, just stands up with Tony in his arms. Something thugs at him, like the fabric wrapped around him is being pulls off the ground, but he is too tired to find out how or why. Stephen said he’d take care of him. Everything is fine.

Somewhere far away, he hears Stephen talk to JARVIS, but the words don’t make sense to him. He is asleep before they reach the stairs.

**

In a fleeting, terrible moment, the arms let go of him and Tony whimpers, feeling alone and scared. He reaches out blindly, needing to find someone, anyone, to hold on to.

Then a gentle hand caresses his face and a soft voice shushes him. There is some shuffling and then arms envelop him again. Tony snuggles closer, sighing as he presses into the firm warmth next to him.

The voice is talking again, soothingly and kind and the words wrap around Tony, making him feel safe without having any meaning.

Sleep comes easily after that.

**

The smell of coffee is the first thing Tony notices when he wakes up again. The next is that someone is still holding him. Strong arms and a flat chest pressed against his back. Stephen, his brain supplies after a moment. Stephen, who came because Tony’s heart called to him.

Carefully, as to not wake Stephen, Tony slides a hand up his own chest to the open hole over his heart. He gingerly touches the edges. It still hurts, an aching pain that won’t go away, and it’s very sensitive, especially with the metal casing is gone. He vaguely remembers taking it out after learning that Stephen was Otherkind too. He remembers the tingling of touching Stephen and the overwhelming presence after, the feeling of someone being there. He doesn’t remember much clearly after that, just feelings and faint images in his mind.

“Are you awake?” The voice is low enough not to disturb him, had he been asleep. Tony turns his head to find intelligent grey eyes watching him. “I…. Yeah…”

“Good.” Stephen says and lets go of him, sitting up in the bed. Instantly, Tony feels cold. “Are… Are you leaving?” He really should be ashamed of how much his voice trembles, but the only thing he can think about is finding a way to make Stephen stay. He can’t be alone again. Not now. Not when he knows it can be different.

“I’m not leaving.” Stephen says, pausing by the edge of the bed. He is wearing an odd blue robe with several belts around the waist, but seems completely comfortable in the strange clothes. “JARVIS made coffee and I’m going to make breakfast. He tells me you haven’t eaten in a while.”

“Oh…” Tony sits up and the heavy red fabric falls from him. It doesn’t stop moving when it reaches the bed, however, but glides up and drapes itself around Stephen like a cloak. Tony just stares at him until Stephen holds out his hand. “Come on. I can’t make breakfast until we actually get to the kitchen.”

Speechless, Tony takes his hand, feeling again the tingle in his skin at the touch, and follows Stephen to the kitchen where the coffeemaker beeps happily.

“Perfect timing.” Stephen says as he lets go of Tony and opens the fridge.

“Yeah…” Tony says lamely before he pours two cups and walks over to Stephen, who is pulling several things from the fridge. Without looking at Tony, he takes the cup and places it next to the eggs on the table. “Sit down before you fall over.”

Tony wants to argue, but he still feels a lightheaded and tired, even after sleeping, so he takes his coffee and sits down while Stephen starts making their breakfast.

“Are you really like me?” Tony asks when he can’t bear the silence anymore. He is pretty sure it’s the longest he has ever been silent in someone’s company while awake.

“I am. I showed you last night.” Stephen says, looking over his shoulder. “Have you never met another?”

Tony shakes his head. “I’ve never… I always kept it hidden… Always…”

“It’s not good for our kind to be alone. It’s probably killed as many of us as the wars did.” Stephen says, checking the pan and Tony wraps his arms around himself, instinctively hiding his chest. The light is not as strong as it used to be, he knows. Stephen stops and walks over to him. He puts a firm hand on Tony’s shoulder and his voice is filled with endless kindness. “You are not alone anymore Tony. I’m here.”

“Have you… Met many others?” Tony asks, trying to distract himself from the overwhelming desire to wrap around a man he met yesterday and knows almost nothing about.

“A few.” Stephen says, returning to his cooking. Tony tries not to feel disappointed. “But I haven’t shared a lot.”

“Shared?” Tony asks, confused.

“Yes. Like I did with you yesterday. It’s a way to share your inner self, you soul with another. It’s something Otherkind can do if they trust each other. There are no secrets when you share.” Stephen says.

“Why did you share with me? You don’t know me.” Tony says. He remembers how it felt to be laid bare like that, to have someone else know every part of him. He isn’t sure how much Stephen saw or even what Stephen showed him, being too overwhelmed by the experience, but he is pretty sure they don’t have the level of trust Stephen is talking about. They had only just met.

“Because you needed me to. You needed to know you are not alone. You still need to know that.” Stephen says calmly. He turns off the stove and places an omelet in front of Tony before sitting down with his own. It looks good and smells even better and suddenly Tony realizes how hungry he is. Besides, it’s easier to eat than to deal with the fact that a stranger knew how alone he felt and came to save him.

They eat in silence for a while and Stephen fetches more coffee for both of them. The omelet is the single best thing Tony has ever eaten, but that might be impacted a little by the fact that he can’t remember the last time he actually ate more than a power bar. Definitely before Stane. How long ago was that? It feels like years. It’s probably just days.

He gets shaken from his thoughts when Stephen places a bottle of water in front of him. “You are dehydrated. Coffee is not enough. Drink.”

Normally, Tony would resist any kind of order, but he doesn’t feel the need to go against Stephen at all, so he takes the bottle and drains it slowly. It helps far more than he thought it would.

Meanwhile, Stephen cleans up and places the dishes in the dishwasher.

“What happens now?” Tony asks, trying not to sound needy. He really, really wants Stephen to stay and he is doing everything he can to prepare for him leaving.

“That’s up to you.” Stephen says, something very patient in his eyes. “I’ll stay if you want me to. I’ll tell you what you want to know. I’ll share with you, if you ask.”

“I… I want you to stay…” Tony breathes. “I want… I need to know more… About this, us… About you… About everything…”

Stephen nods with a smile and leads Tony to he couch by the hand. Tony sits close to him, never wanting to let go and Stephen seems to understand that. He keeps holding Tony’s hand when they sit down.

And then Stephen tells him everything. He starts by telling about himself, his life and how he got here. He talks about being a neurosurgeon and the accident that cost him his hands, he talks about going to Kamar-Taj and learning about a hidden world of magic and sorcerers. He talks about becoming Sorcerer Supreme. Tony’s logical mind informs him that he should mistrust all this talk of magic and wizards, but somehow, he knows it’s true. It takes a moment before he understands that it’s because of the sharing. Because he saw a part of Stephen’s soul, he knows this really happened to him.

“Do you have to be Otherkind to be a sorcerer?” Tony asks, and Stephen shakes his head. “No. Humans can have an affinity for magic as well, but often being Otherkind helps. That’s why I’ve met more of our kind. Because they are often drawn to magic.”

Tony nods, trying to formulate his next question. There is so much more he needs to know, but he is unsure where to start.

“Are you tired?” Stephen asks and Tony realizes that he is leaning heavily on the doctor, Tony’s head resting on his shoulder.

“I… It’s just… A little much…” Tony says, quickly sitting up again. Stephen squeezes his hand. “It’s okay. We can take a break, do something else.”

“Can we…” Tony licks his lips and takes a deep breath. “Will you share with me again?”

“Will you let me see your heart?” Stephen asks, looking at Tony carefully.

Tony pauses, fear flaring up in him. Stane had come for his heart, had wanted to take it and use it. In the cave, they had exposed his heart, had wanted to play with it and break it. Now Stephen wants it too.

But Stephen is different. Stephen is like him, he understands. Stephen let Tony see part of his soul. If Stephen can share his soul, Tony can share his heart.

Very slowly, Tony pulls his shirt up, revealing the blue, pulsing light. Is scares him how much fainter it is now, how much it still hurts. Stephen lifts a hand, holding it just over the ragged edges, close but not touching. “Exquisite. Can I…?”

“It’s… It’s sensitive…” Tony says, but he nods. Carefully, Stephen traces the edge around Tony’s broken sternum with his fingertips. It doesn’t hurt. It’s very soft. Stephen’s fingers are shaking a little and Tony can see the scars on the back of his hands, the physical proof of the accident that changed the doctor’s life.

Tony lets out the breath he’s been holding and closes his eyes. With fingers as gentle as Stephen’s, a confident doctor’s hands, the touch is almost pleasant.

“They… They want it…” Tony whispers. “My heart… They… They come to take it… To tear it from my chest… I… I’m afraid…”

“You don’t have to be. Not anymore.” Stephen says, covering Tony’s broken chest with his hand. For a moment, his fingers don’t shake, his hand steady and sure. Tony feels so fragile like this, so small and vulnerable. It would take nothing to tear him apart.

Stephen doesn’t to that.

“I’ll keep you safe now.” He says and Tony opens his eyes, swallowing. “You… You promise?”

“I do. I promise to protect your heart Tony.” Stephen says firmly, his grey eyes holding Tony’s brown for an eternal heartbeat. Then Tony collapses a little, everything suddenly too much, overwhelming him. Stephen lifts his hand, letting the shirt slide down again, hiding Tony’s broken sternum, and puts an arm around the engineer. Tony leans into him with a sigh.

**

Tony falls asleep. He doesn’t mean to, but he does. There is something incredible relaxing about being so close to Stephen, wrapped in his arms. He has never felt so safe.

When he wakes up again, Stephen makes him eat more food and drink more water.

Then Tony tells Stephen the truth about the cave. He’s never told anyone before, not even Pepper or Rhodey, and more than once he has to stop to get his breathing under control again. Every time, Stephen holds him close and tells him he is safe.

It’s a relief when he is done, when all the words are bled from him and someone else knows. He doesn’t have to hide, doesn’t have to pretend he is okay. Stephen rubs his back in soothing circles with one hand and Tony takes a deep breath. It still feels different every time Stephen touches him, but it’s a good different, a pleasant tingle.

“I’m glad you told me.” Stephen says, his voice very gentle. “It can’t have been easy for you.”

Tony just nods. It feels like he’s run out of words.

“I think we should get some food now and then get you to bed.”

“I just slept…” Tony protests weakly. Honestly, he felt tired enough to sleep again already. It is a little embarrassing, not being able to stay awake for more than a few hours.

“You are still weak. You need a lot of rest. And food. Come.” Stephen says, standing up and holding out a hand to Tony. Tony sighs, but takes the hand and follows Stephen to the kitchen.

Again, Stephen manages to conjure up some food almost instantaneously and Tony eats everything set in front of him. Normally he doesn’t eat this much, but what Stephen makes is really good. And Tony is hungry.

The food is gone and the plates in the dishwasher when Stephen holds out his hand again. “Come. You need rest.”

Tony takes his hand and they go to the bedroom. He doesn’t want to argue and he hopes that maybe, just maybe, Stephen will stay even if he falls asleep. He did before. And then there is the other thing.

“Will you… Share with me?” Tony asks carefully when he is sitting on the bed. The red cape leaves Stephen’s shoulders and places itself neatly on a chair nearby.

“I will. You showed me something very valuable today.” Stephen says, undoing his belts and removing his shoes. Then he sits down next to Tony. “But we should be more comfortable first.”

Stephen arranges them in the bed, leaning against the headboards, Tony pressed against his side and Stephen’s arms around the engineer. Stephen places the covers around them both, but makes sure most of them cover Tony.

It’s intimidating, being curled up so close with Stephen, whom he has only known for a few days. It’s intimate. But Tony doesn’t have the strength to resist. It feels so good. And Stephen doesn’t seem to mind.

“It might be overwhelming again. Are you ready?” Stephen asks, taking Tony’s hand.

Tony nods. It was a lot the last time, even if Tony doesn’t remember it clearly. It was overwhelming and invasive and overpowering, but he needs to feel it again. Needs to know that he is not alone.

It’s not as world-shaking as the first time, but it is still intense. Everything he is, everything he has ever done, is on display for Stephen to see and suddenly Tony is afraid that the man will be disgusted with him and leave. Then Tony feels a fondness that is not his own and sees what Stephen used to be. Arrogant, stubborn and selfish. The best in his field, yes, but not a good man. Not until the accident forced him to change. He shows Tony that he understands.

It’s easier, after that, to let Stephen see everything. To let him know Tony in a way no one ever has. And it’s easier for Tony to know Stephen. Most of it is fleeting, but the impression of a quick-witted, intelligent and sarcastic doctor is very appealing to Tony.

When Stephen lets go of him, Tony feels comforted, safe and exhausted. Stephen says something, but Tony falls asleep without understanding the words.


	10. Steve and Tony

They arrive at the exclusive Malibu location early in the morning. It’s been a long drive and Steve is thankful to the serum for not making him feel stiff after sleeping in the car. Clint is grumbling from the front seat, proving that he is not that lucky. Phil has been driving the last few hours, but doesn’t complain. He rarely does.

Phil had tried to explain in the car, about his vision and them needing to find Tony Stark. It had taken them some time to locate the man, as he owned several locations all over the country. Their first try had been Stark Tower, but they had been kindly informed that Mr. Stark had not to the tower for several day. No one seems worried. Apparently Mr. Stark would disappear like that from time to time and then return with some new groundbreaking invention.

More searching and some help from Natasha had led them to the location in Malibu, an extravagant house with a lot of security that seems to have been taken out already. It made Steve nervous, knowing that someone else had come for Mr. Stark like that. He hoped they were not too late. According to Phil, it was very important that they found Mr. Stark.

Steve automatically takes the lead and knocks on the door. There is a long silence before a man who is definitely not Mr. Stark opens the door. “And you are?” He asks, raising an eyebrow at them.

“My name is Steve Rogers. We are looking for Tony Stark.” Steve says, trying to seem friendly and authoritative at the same time. The man in the door seems less than impressed. “Why?”

“That’s privileged information.” Steve says. They don’t have much of a plan for anyone who isn’t Mr. Stark, so he goes with something safe. They do work for S.H.I.E.L.D., it’s a perfectly plausible explanation. “Listen, I promise we are here to help Mr. Stark, not hurt him. But we need to talk to him first.”

“I don’t see why you should.” The man answers coolly, moving to close the door. Clint stepped up next to Steve. “Look, we’re not going to hand him over to the IOKC. We’re going to protect him from them.”

“Barton.” Phil says. He is using _that_ voice, one of the only things in the world that will make the archer back down and submit, but Clint just looks at him calmly. “We can trust him.”

Steve looks over at Phil, who nods. It seems to be enough for him. If Clint trusts someone, so does Phil. Steve still isn’t really sure why, but Phil has good instincts, so Steve trust that the two of them know what they are doing.

And it does seem to be working. The man pauses in the door, looking at each of them in turn. “I see…”

The pause after his words makes Steve’s blood run cold. He knows what will happen if this man decides to call the IOKC, and as much as he trust Clint and Phil, he can’t help but be afraid for them too.

Then the man holds the door open for them. “Come inside. It does seem we need to talk.”

“Thank you.” Steve says and enters the huge house as the first. The room he gets into is spacious and used to be elegant, but something violent clearly happened here and so far, no one has taken the time to clean up.

“Stephen?”

Steve turns in surprise when he hears the voice and is even more surprised when he sees the man it belongs too. Steve had expected Tony Stark to look like Howard, but at the moment there seems to be very little resemblance between father and son. The younger Mr. Stark looks, for lack of a better word, sick. He is pale, thin and have dark marks around his eyes. His hair is rumpled and lifeless and he is wrapped in a blanket. He is nothing like Steve imagined.

“They want to talk to you.” The other man, Stephen apparently, walks over to Mr. Stark. “They claim they are here to help.”

“I can’t… I don’t want to talk…” Mr. Stark says, swaying slightly. He looks like he is about fall over and Stephen grasps his elbow to keep him steady.

“You should sit down.” Stephen says softly enough that only Steve hears it and guides the other man to the couch.

“Are you okay Mr. Stark?” Steve asks worriedly.

“Tony…” The man says as he sits down heavily. “Mr. Stark was my father…”

“Actually…” Steve walks over to the couch and stands in front of him. “He was Howard to me…”

Tony looks up, really seeing his guests for the first time. Something Steve can’t interpret crosses his face briefly, before he runs a hand through his hair. “Steve Rogers… Of Course… To what do I owe the pleasure of the wonderful and infallible Captain America?”

“We… Um…” The greeting is not exactly what Steve expected and Stephen is still standing right next to him, so he takes a moment to collect himself before continuing. “We came to find you. We believe we can help you.”

“Stephen helps me…” Tony says tiredly. He looks like he might pass out on the couch and Stephen steps closer to place a hand on Tony’s shoulder.

“I can see that.” Steve says patiently. “But I think there is something we can do too. Something we can share…”

Both Tony and Stephen look at Steve, their eyes wide in surprise and narrowed in suspicion respectively. Steve focuses on Tony. He is the reason they came and there is something guarded and broken in his eyes. Something Steve recognizes from himself.

“Clint… Can we trust them?” He asks without breaking eye contact with Tony.

“Yeah… Both of them, I’d say…” Clint says, sounding cautious. Steve nods and makes the decision Phil spend most of the car ride trying to convince him not to make.

He takes the dog tags off.

He hears Phil groan resignedly behind him, but it doesn’t matter because Steve is focused on the relief that fills Tony’s eyes as Steve’s presence fills the room. Tony looks from Steve to Stephen for a moment, before focusing on the kneeling soldier and lifting a hand towards him. “You… You’re…”

“Yes. I am.” Steve says calmly, letting Tony place a careful hand on his chest. The blanket around Tony slips off, revealing a dark t-shirt with a faint blue light underneath. Steve feels something, very faintly, but it’s enough that he knows he made the right choice. He doesn’t feel relieved by it, because there is something wrong in the feeling. Something sick and broken.

“You’re sick.” Steve says and Tony pulls his hand back to cover his own heart.

“They… They weakened it… In the cave… And then Stane… It’s… It’s not as strong as before… It hurts…” Tony says, not looking at anyone. Steve isn’t sure the inventor is actually talking to him.

“Can I see?” Steve asks gently. Tony blinks a few times, surprised, and looks up at him. Then he looks over his shoulder to Stephen, who nods slowly, not taking his eyes from Steve and not moving his hand from Tony’s shoulder. Steve can’t really figure out what their relationship is and he can’t quiet decide if Stephen is protective or controlling.

Slowly Tony lifts his shirt up, revealing a metal ring and a glowing blue light embedded in his chest. It looks painful. Steve bites his lip when he realizes that it’s not machinery like it’s supposed to look. The blue light is coming from Tony’s chest.

“There is a masking sign on this, right?” Steve says carefully, fingers hovering over the metal ring. Tony nods slowly, running a finger over the metal ring. “So I can… Hide…”

“You don’t have to hide from us.” Steve says with a friendly smile. Tony still seems unsure, but then his eyes move behind Steve and the Captain feels the presence of Clint and Phil, meaning that they have both done like Steve and removed their maskers.

“Impressive. It’s rare to have so many Otherkind in one place.” Stephen says, looking between the three of them.

“We were lucky to find each other.” Steve says, keeping his eyes on Stephen. He is not afraid that Tony will report them or hurt them in any way, but it’s harder for him to get a read on Stephen.

“It seems you know where to look.” Stephen says and then Steve feels it. The presence of Otherkind, but unknown and not Tony. Stephen didn’t move, but somehow he did remove the marker that kept him hidden.

Clint whistles softly. “So it’s all of us then…”

“It would seem so.” Steve returns his gaze to Tony and smiles. “You don’t have to be afraid.”

Tony still hesitates, looking around the room. He seems overwhelmed, which isn’t really a surprise. It must be a lot and from what Steve can guess, Tony is no used to being among his own kind. Finally, he grabs the metal and carefully removes it. It almost makes it worse. Without the metal, the light seems even weaker and Steve can see the ragged edges around the hole in his chest. He is pretty sure it’s not supposed to look like that. Something violent made it look like that.

“It’s broken…” Tony says quietly, looking down at his chest. Steve nods, worried eyes tracing every scar on the engineer’s chest.

“I’ve tried to help, but doing anything without knowing what I’m dealing with could easily do more harm than good.” Stephen tells them. He still has a hand on Tony’s shoulder, keeping his eyes on Steve.

“We’ll help. Maybe there is something we can – “ Steve reaches out, his fingertips gracing the skin on Tony’s chest and the light flares up. Steve quickly pulls back, scared that he somehow hurt Tony. Stephen is suddenly next to him, kneeling and looking carefully at the blue light. Tony gasps, but it seems to be more surprise than pain and he looks at Steve with an odd expression.

“What the hell?” Clint asks, stepping closer so he is just behind Steve. “What happened?”

“I… I don’t know. I’m sorry.” Steve says, still looking at Tony. He stands up to get more distance between them so it doesn’t happen again, whatever it was.

Phil comes over to him, his voice quiet and even. “What is it you can do Steve?”

“What do you mean, ‘can do’?” Steve asks, turning to him. Phil tilts his head a little. “As Otherkind. What is your skill?”

“I don’t… I…” Steve looks at the agent questioningly. “I think it made me survive the serum?”

“That’s something genetic, it’s not your skill.” Phil says. Clint turns to him too. So do Stephen and Tony. Everybody is looking at him.

“I… I don’t… Have a skill…” Steve says.

“All Otherkind have a skill.” Stephen says, like it’s common knowledge. Steve didn’t know. He just knew he could feel others like himself and that he needed to hide it most of the time.

“Do you?” Steve asks, looking at Clint and Phil.

Phil raises an eyebrow. “I’ve told you about mine. The vision? The feeling of where to go?”

“Oh…” Steve feels a little foolish. “I… I though that was just… You know… Something you could do…”

Clint sends him a smile, but Stephen’s attention is turned to Phil now. “You have a theory I assume?”

“I think so.” Phil says, looking from Steve to Tony. “I’ve noticed it before. My own skill, it’s… Different when Steve is unmasked… I usually get forewarnings, but suddenly I had a full vision showing me this place…”

“Yeah, I’ve noticed that too. Whenever Steve is unmasked being Otherkind feels… Stronger…” Clint says.

“Hmm…” Stephen holds a hand up in front of Steve and something white sparkles between his fingers. “Yes… It makes sense… It does seem you enhance the skills in others, but have nothing yourself…”

“I wouldn’t say nothing.” Clint mumbles, eyeing Steve’s impressive torso. Phil whacks him on the shoulder, but the archer just smiles.

“Enhances…” Steve says, not paying attention to Clint’s wandering eyes. Instead, he moves back to Tony. “Did it hurt?”

“N-no… It was… It _didn’t_ hurt…” Tony says quietly. He seems surprised by that. Steve sits down in front of him again. “Tell me if you want me to stop…”

When Tony nods, Steve holds out his hand and carefully places it over Tony’s heart. As soon as they touch, the blue light grows stronger. The steady blue glow shines out through his fingers. He can feel it, like warmth and electricity and Otherkind all in one. He can feel how the heart beneath his hand grows stronger, how the sick feeling disappears.

Tony’s breathing beneath his hand is a little shaky, his eyes on Steve’s hand.

When all traces of sickness are gone, Steve slowly pulls his hand back. The light from Tony’s heart is much stronger now, a steady blue glow that lights up his face.

“Does it still hurt?” Steve asks, looking from the light to the brown eyes.

“No.” Tony says, meeting his gaze. “It’s… It feels good… Like it used to, before… Like it’s supposed to…”

Steve nods, still looking at Tony carefully. He already seems better. He is not as pale anymore and his eyes are bright and attentive. He is even smiling and there is a glint in his eyes that wasn’t there before.

“Well then…” Stephen says. When Steve turns, he can see that the other man is also smiling. “It seems like explanations are in order…”


	11. Tony

It doesn’t hurt. His heart, his body, none of it hurts. He feels as strong as ever. It distracts him a little from the conversation that follows, even if he does want to hear about Steve, as Captain America prefers to be called, and Phil and Clint. They are telling about how they met, how they got to know the truth about each other and how they found Tony. It’s interesting, it really is, but Tony still gets distracted by how good he feels.

He makes coffee for all of them and smiles when Clint praises the coffee like he just found the meaning of life. Moving about helps a little and when he sits down again, it’s easier to focus. So he listens to what they have to say.

After their stories, Stephen makes dinner. He may be a wizard, but he really should have been a chef. His food is simple, but Tony is already a little in love with it. He is seriously considering offering him a job as private chef, even if he doesn’t think Stephen will accept.

Steve helps with the food and Phil sets the table, while Tony gives Clint a tour round the ground floor of his house. He asked and Tony doesn’t mind the excuse to move.

“It’s an impressive place.” Clint says as they walk along the huge windows in the living room.

“Yeah… It’s pretty nice…” Tony says, smiling. This was always his favorite home away from home. He spends most of his time in the tower, but this is where he relaxes.

“Except for the parts that look like a warzone…” Clint says as he steps over part of the broken TV. Tony nods. “It’s… It happened recently…”

“Was it Stane?” Clint asks, his voice very soft. Tony nods and takes a deep breath. He feels better, but thinking about Stane is still uncomfortable.

“Will you tell us about it?” Clint asks as they retune to the kitchen. The smell of food makes it easier to relax. Knowing Stephen will be there is enough to make Tony agree.

So he tells his story again. He doesn’t give as many details as he did when he told Stephen, but he tells enough. Sometime during his explanation, Stephen put a calming hand on his knee. No one else seems to notice and it helps Tony get through the part about Stane.

Finally, Stephen tells his story. He has to spend a lot of time explaining magic and have to show a little of how it works before Clint believes him. It turns out that he grew up in a circus and is used to seeing amazing feats turn out to be nothing but cheap tricks. When he is convinced, the others have been for some time and Stephen can get back to his story.

When they are done talking, it’s late. Tony offers them to sleep in his mansion, since it has more than enough rooms. He feels tired, but not like before. Not crushingly exhausted from just lifting his body like he did when his heart was broken, but pleasantly sleepy after a long day.

Clint and Phil get a room together, because they are obviously a couple. After seemingly deciding that Tony and Stephen were friendly, Clint didn’t hide his affection towards the older man. Phil was a little more reserved, but never rejected the gentle touches from Clint.

Steve gets a room alone next to them. He asks about Tony’s heart several times to make sure he is feeling okay and goes to bed with a wish for a pleasant night for everyone.

That leaves Tony and Stephen.

“So… You’ll probably want a room too…” Tony says, trying to hide his disappointment. Sleeping with Stephen had been the most peaceful he felt in a long time, but he still doesn’t really know the man. Tony had been sick, that’s why Stephen had slept in his bed. He is better now. Good, actually. He feels amazing, but that doesn’t mean he wants to sleep alone.

“I can go back home and sleep in my own bed just as easily.” Stephen says with a dry smile.

“Oh… Right…” It feels a little like a punch in the gut. Of course Stephen wants to go home. He just came because Tony’s broken heart kept insisting on calling him, but now that the heart is better, there is no reason for him to stay. They aren’t really friends.

“Do you want me to leave?” Stephen asks, looking carefully at Tony.

“I… I… Um…” Tony tries to look away from those piercing grey eyes, he really does, but they hold him and he can’t move. “I don’t… Want to hold you here… You… You must have something you need to do…”

“I’ll stay if you ask me to.” Stephen says calmly.

“Oh… I… I do… I want you to stay…” Tony says a little too quickly. He bites his lip and forces himself to look away. He still feels almost desperate not to be alone, but it’s a vulnerability he really should hide. Stark men are made of iron. It would be much too easy to exploit him right now and he needs to protect himself. He doesn’t think Stephen would do that, but he has been painfully wrong before. “Sorry… I…”

“Tony…” Stephen gently puts a hand on his shoulder. “You don’t have to be alone. I’m here. I promised to protect your heart, and I will guard it against loneliness too.”

“I… I want you to stay with me… Please…” Tony says, quietly this time.

“I know.” Stephen just says with a small smile as he puts an arm around Tony and guides him back to the bedroom. Tony’s heart might be sttonger, but feeling someone so close still makes him feel much better and relax almost instantly. Maybe it has something to do with Stephen, Tony isn’t really sure.

“Go change.” Stephen says when they get to Tony’s bedroom. Tony nods and finds some sleepwear that he changes into in the bedroom. When he comes back, Stephen is sitting on the bed dressed in a black tee shirt and soft dark pants. “Come. I’ll keep the nightmares away.”

They lie down in the bed and Stephen puts his arms around Tony. It feels a little different now, touching someone else like himself. It feels better now that his heart is strong again. But it’s still a stranger in his bed and it feels much more intimate than just having sex. Of course, they haven’t had sex. He hasn’t seen Stephen in anything less than long sleeves and pants since the wizard arrived and Tony have been too weak for any strenuous activity. And they are not anything close to lovers. They aren’t even really friends. Still, Stephen has done so much to help him already.

“Thank you…” Tony says quietly when he is pressed close against Stephen’s chest. “For… For this… I know it’s… Strange…”

That prompts a small laugh that shakes the man beneath him. “I’ve seen stranger. And I don’t mind this. I’m very comfortable here.”

Tony takes a deep breath and closes his eyes. He is not scared to sleep like he is sometimes when he is on his own. Stephen is right. His being there keeps the nightmares away.

**

The next morning, Stephen is still there. So are all the others. Breakfast is a friendly affair and more enjoyable than a lot of very expensive dinners Tony has attended during his life. Steve is caring and genuinely interested in Tony’s health, Clint is funny and apparently adverse to chairs, as he sits on counter and tabletops whenever he has the chance and Phil is intelligent and patient. They talk like they care what he thinks and listen like they actually want to hear what he has to say.

They are Otherkind. They are like Tony and he doesn’t feel alone when he is with them. So now that he is better, he agrees to come back to the tower so he will be closer to them. It’s easy to invite them to come see it and to let JARVIS give them all the needed security clearance. Tony hopes it will be enough to make them come visit sometimes.

They need to bring the car back with them, but that apparently isn’t a problem for a sorcerer, so Stephen opens a portal for all of them and the car and brings them directly to the parking garage of Stark Tower. Tony leads them to the private elevator and to the many empty floors that belong to him.

“This place is insane…” Clint comments when they are walking through the cinema room on one of his private floors. “This room is bigger than our apartment…”

“All the top floors are mine, but I only use a few of them. You could all get a floor here and I’d still have plenty of room… Eh… If you wanted…” Tony says quickly. He didn’t mean to offer them to come live with him. They have just met. But as soon as the words leave him, he knows he would like it.

“You know, I might just take you up on that.” Clint says with a wink.

Of course, it doesn’t happen right away. Everybody goes home and Tony is alone in his enormous tower. Even Stephen leaves, saying he has to check in with someone named Wong, but he promises to come back as soon as possible.

For once, he doesn’t feel lonely even if he is alone. Tony goes to the workshop and makes several breakthroughs in projects he has previously given up on. Tony even sleeps alone for the first time since meeting Stephen and doesn’t mind.

When he wakes up, there are several messages from Steve and Clint, inviting him to come have a drink with them on a bar that night. He isn’t surprised when Phil and Stephen show up as well and he is introduced to Natasha and Bruce. Natasha is incredible, but it is Bruce who captures Tony’s attention. It’s very rare to meet someone who actually understands everything he says and he has read several of Dr. Banner’s papers on gamma radiation. Even if he and Natasha are a thing, Bruce spends most of the night talking to Tony and Tony invites him to come see his workshop.

It evolves from there. Bruce is the first to come visit him and Tony excitedly shows him all the toys. Bruce is easy to work with and they soon have several projects in the works. Steve comes to visit next, wanting to make sure Tony’s heart is still okay and wanting to see the futuristic tower. Clint invites himself and Phil over for dinner one evening, showing up in the workshop with pizza and drag Tony into the cinema room to watch movies. Natasha comes to visit when Bruce is working and Tony starts liking her too. It takes a while before she reveals herself as Otherkind and Tony feels honored when she does.

Stephen comes by often. Sometimes he sits in the workshop and reads one of his magic books while Tony works, sometimes they watch movies or talk and once in a while, he stays the night, holding Tony when the nightmares become too much.


	12. Steve and the Avengers

It starts as a normal day. Steve gets up, replies to a 4 AM text from Tony and goes to shower. He gets dressed, gets breakfast and goes to work at S.H.I.E.L.D. They have him training the new agents, even if he never finished training himself. It’s a little boring, but he doesn’t mind. It’s better than paperwork.

He knows Clint is watching because he sees a shadow move through one of the vent grates. He also knows Clint does it to see if any of the new agents are worth anything or if someone is causing trouble. In the beginning, he did it to see if Steve knew what he was doing. For some reason, it’s more fun to train when Clint is watching. At least he will have someone to complain to later. He’s in the same training outfit the agents have, but his shield is standing by the wall. Apparently, it’s good for the agents to see him with it, so Fury told him to bring it along whenever he was out and about at the compound. It’s fine with Steve. He feels better when he knows where it is at all times.

The trainees are running laps while Steve watches when he hears to first explosion. It’s powerful enough to shake the entre compound and several of the running agents fall or tumble into each other. In an instant, Clint is standing next to Steve. “Accident?”

“I don’t think we’re that lucky.” Steve says quietly before raising his voice. “Alright, everyone rapport to your handlers. Go.”

As the agents quickly disperse, Steve grabs his shield and starts running towards the source of the explosion, Clint hot on his heels.

What they find is definitely not an accident. The firefight is proof of that. Several agents are already engaging the enemy, who seems to be wearing some kind of mechanic suits. Steve remembers seeing something like that, but the one he saw was definitely more red and gold and a lot nicer. These are grey and black, big and lumbering, making as much damaged when they fall over as when they attack. Clint disappears instantly, looking for some higher ground to shoot from.

Steve hurries into the fray, flinging his shield at the nearest mechanical monstrosity. It slams into the side, making the thing wobble dangerously.

“Looks like you have some impact Captain.” Phil comments over the comms. “Our bullets can’t make a dents in them and our agents can’t get close enough to do any damage.”

“Then I better knock them down for you.” Steve says, picking up the shield and attacking the next enemy. “Hawkeye, got anything that could help?”

“I’ve got some explosives that I’ve been told not to use inside.” Clint answers, hidden somewhere near the roof.

“Disregard that order for now.” Steve says, jumping over an overturned table to knock into one of the mechanic suits with his entire weight behind the shield. Clint doesn’t answer, but a moment later, the ground in front of one of the bigger suits explode and the suit falls on its face, making it possible for S.H.I.E.L.D. agents to get close enough to damage the mechanics.

The explosions are very useful. Especially since there are a lot of enemies and only Steve seems to be able to do much damage to the suits until Natasha shows up quite suddenly. Her Widow’s Bites seems to be able to do some harm as well. Still, there are too many enemies and too few agents able to push them back.

Steve commands most of the agents away from the battle, ordering them to create a fortification with anything within reach to keep the mechanic suits from getting further into the compound.

“Who are they?” Steve asks when he slams his shield into yet another enemy, only to catch it again and throw it at another a second later. It seems like there are an endless number of the suits.

“They are called AIM, Advanced Ideas Mechanics. It’s not the first time they’ve gone against S.H.I.E.L.D., but they are usually unsuccessful.” Phil explains. He is somewhere safe, overseeing everything at once and trying to offer what help he can.

“Seems like their idea of ‘advancing ideas’ is to steal someone else’s.” Natasha comments as she jumps unto the back of one of the AIM suits and wedge her wrists into the opening between the chest piece and helmet. The electricity is enough to short-out the suit and she jumps off elegantly as it falls over.

Even if he has no idea what she means, Steve doesn’t get a chance to ask, as several of the AIM suits turn their guns at him and he has to focus on hiding behind the shield.

“There are too many of them.” Clint calls, sending arrow after arrow down in an attempt to keep the suits from reaching the fortification with the agents.

Steve agrees. They are just barely holding their own and only because the corridor that the agents have used to make their stand is too narrow for more than a few suits at the time. Steve is trying to come up with a more useful tactic, but they just don’t have the raw power to force them back.

Then there is a roar and something big and probably expensive breaks to Steve’s left. Then a vending machine is hurled through the air straight into one of the suits. It’s enough to slam it into the wall. It is followed by a huge, green beast that continues to pummel the nearest suit, tearing the arms off with ease.

Of course, Steve have heard about The Hulk. He’s read the S.H.I.E.L.D. files and Bruce himself have told them about what happens, but Steve have never been able to connect the violet rage monster to the gentle, soft-spoken scientist. It’s the first time he sees the Hulk and that doesn’t make it easier.

While the strength of the Hulk makes him extremely useful, he is far more a blunt object than a precision tool. Steve manages to point him in the direction of the enemies and quickly loses all say over the fight, as Hulk throws half a mechanic suit through the wall, over the road outside and into the car park. The other half quickly follows.

Steve no longer has any idea who is winning. He was pretty sure they were losing at first, then at a stalemate, but now he has no idea. The Hulk makes the battle more even, but there are still far too many suits for them to handle.

“Captain!” Clint calls out, just in time for Steve to turn around and see three suits lumbering towards him. Being distracted by the chaos brought by the Hulk, Steve hadn’t noticed they were backing him into a corner. The shield isn’t big enough to protect him from all three at once.

Suddenly there is another suit in front of him. This one actually flies and is red and gold, far smaller and sleeker than the AIM suits. It’s hovering just in front of Steve, facing the grey giants. The red suit lifts both hands and clear blue light shoots out, sending two of the grey suits flying before a ray from the chest incapacitates the last one.

The suit turns and the faceplate opens, revealing Tony’s face. “Need a hand Captain?”

And everything clicks into place into Steve’s head. The Iron Man suit, the famous suit made by the famous Tony Stark. Steve never saw it before, but he should have known. “Any help is most welcome.”

Tony smiles, closing the faceplate and turns back to the battle. “Good. I don’t like it when people steal my stuff.”

While Tony doesn’t exactly have a soldier’s discipline, he is easier to control than the Hulk and quickly flies where Steve directs him. With their combined efforts and the seemingly random destruction by the Hulk, they actually manage to get the situation under control. The AIM suits are rounded up and incapacitated with the help of Tony, who also agrees to assist S.H.I.E.L.D. in figuring out how AIM got the schematics for something so similar to his suits.

Steve helps the medical team gather the wounded while Phil already is working on clean up and surveying the damage.

Natasha is the one who notices first. “Cap, Hulk is gone.”

“We better find him before he gets too far.” Steve looks up, quickly making a plan. “Widow, you and Hawkeye head left, Iron Man and I will go right. Call back if you find anything.”

They nod without comment and leave at once. Leading them feels easy, natural. Steve already knows they’d make a good team. They trust each other, even more than any of the other agents know. Maybe S.H.I.E.L.D. would agree to let him create a special team if he can make a convincing argument.

**

It’s Steve and Tony who find the Hulk. They don’t have to go far. He is smashing a car that has long since been wrecked and the sight makes Steve stop. The Hulk listened to his commands during the fight, but they had been simple and Hulk had already been angry with the enemy. Tony, however, doesn’t stop. He walks right up to the car and opens the faceplate. “Hey there Big Guy.”

Hulk stops, turning away from the broken car to look at the newcomer. “Tin man…”

“Sure. You all done here? We are going to pack up now. We won. Hurrah for us. We were gonna grab a bite. You wanna come eat with your friends?” Tony says casually. Steve opens his mouth to say something, but stops himself. Tony seems to be in control of the situation.

“Tin man Banner friend.” Hulk says and he sounds angry enough that Steve grabs the shield a little tighter.

“I am. But I can be your friend too. You can have more than one friend.” Tony says and points to Steve. “See that? That’s Steve. He’s my friend too. I have many friends. I want you to be one of them.”

“Hulk… Tin man friend?” Hulk takes a step closer to Tony, his eyes moving from the genius to Steve a few times.

“Of course.” Tony says and Steve can hear the smile in his voice. “Let’s be friends. Let’s do something together. What do you like to do?”

“Hulk smash!” Comes the prompt answer.

“Yeah, well, this place is all smashed up. What else?” Tony says. Hulk just looks confused, but Tony sends him a smile. “We’ll figure something out. Hey, you like stories? I could tell you a story…”

So that’s how they end up in an ally behind some of the broken buildings with Tony narrating what Steve is pretty sure is a children’s book to the Hulk, who sits on the ground with his entire attention aimed at the iron-clad man.

Halfway through the story, Hulk starts to shrink and change color. Steve hurries forwards and catches Bruce before he tilts over. Bruce blinks in surprise and looks at Tony. “How’d you… know?”

Tony smiles and waves like it’s nothing. “JARVIS surmised that the Big Guy in some ways has the mental capacity of a child, so he found a book for me to read. He seems to like it.”

“He… He did…” Bruce says, sounding surprised. Tony just smiles.

**

Later, they go to eat together like Tony said. Steve, Tony, Bruce, Natasha, Clint and Phil. There is something about them, something special about this little group. Something important. Something in the way they work together and trust each other. Something in the secrets they share. It’s the first time since waking up in the future that Steve feels like he belongs.


	13. Tony and Stephen

Steve is the first to move into the tower. He had an apartment in Brooklyn, but he said it reminded him too much of someone. When Tony asks who, Steve shares with him. It’s the first time Tony knows unconditional love. When it’s over, they are both crying, Steve for what he lost and Tony for what he never had.

After Steve comes Clint and with him comes Phil. Clint claims that they have been talking about getting something bigger for a while, but Tony has a suspicion that the private cinema was a big plus in his favor. He doesn’t care, as long as his friends are close.

Bruce and Natasha follow. They have lived together in Natasha’s small apartment since Bruce started working for S.H.I.E.L.D., so they actually do need a bigger place and Tony is happy to provide.

There is one drawback though. Stephen doesn’t come by as often anymore and he hasn’t shared with Tony since their days in Malibu. Tony can’t help but wonder if he did something wrong. He misses Stephen terribly and feels lonely without him, even surrounded by friends.

To take his mind of the one missing, Tony makes sure to protect the ones who live there. With some help from Steve and JARVIS they make sure every floor has enough hidden masking signs to keep any trace of Otherkind away from the public floors. More often than not, they are unmasked on their own floors and Tony wants to make sure they are safe.

It’s new, this freedom. The possibility to go around without hiding. He never did before, not even when he was sure he was alone. He still wears the metal casing, his heart is too vulnerable without it, but he made it possible to change the masking sign so it’s ineffective when he wants. His friends don’t hide and he won’t hide from them.

It’s dangerous to be Otherkind, but not to trust his friends. He knows that they are the lucky ones, the ones who can trust others with their secret and not expect anything bad to happen. They have each other and they are safe together. Others are not so lucky. Still, there are rumors, hidden whispers of people fighting for Otherkind, hiding and protecting them. It’s faint and never leads to anything concrete when Tony looks, but it’s more than there have ever been before.

**

Steve shares with Tony. Tony knows that Steve also shares with Phil. Phil and Clint share and Clint and Natasha. Tony doesn’t ask any of the others to share. He understands how intimate it is and feels fortunate that he gets to share with Steve. He would say yes if any of the others asked, but he is not going to ask himself. He doesn’t want to intrude.

And the one he really wants to share with isn’t there.

Being busy helps him to not think about it. Working with S.H.I.E.L.D., he finds the leak of his schematics. It turns out to be some of the people who worked with Stane in the attempt to steal the Arc Reactor from Tony and they are all found and locked up. After that, he keeps working with S.H.I.E.L.D. because it means he gets to work with Steve, Clint, Phil and Natasha. Bruce is there sometimes too, but even when he isn’t, Tony can work with him in one of the many labs and workshops in the tower. Being with Bruce helps him forget that Stephen isn’t there.

**

Somehow, Steve convinces Fury to make them into a team to handle special threats. The get the codename ‘Avengers’ and Tony doesn’t bother to ask why. As long as he can work with his friends, he doesn’t care. And he knows why Steve is really doing it. They are all, except for Bruce, Otherkind, and becoming a team of heroes who save people will help them if anyone finds out. Or if they decide to reveal it themselves. Tony is pretty sure that’s Steve’s endgame, even if he rarely talks about it. He knows how much Steve hates the oppressive rules and wants to change them any way he can. Tony is just glad to help.

They deal with a few smaller threats, some kidnapping and robberies, not even something that requires all of them, but enough to give them some good publicity. They take on peace keeping and diplomatic missions and volunteer to help rebuild after natural disasters. When AIM attacks the UN, the Avengers are there to fight them off. Steve is a good leader and Tony has no problem taking orders from him most of the time.

It’s a good life. Tony is enjoying himself more than he has in a long time, even if it’s sometimes dangerous. He is actually considering telling Pepper and Rhodey about being Otherkind. Just thinking so far, but he never even did that before.

And yet, Tony isn’t really happy. He should be and when he manages to forget who isn’t there, he is. But more often than not, he misses the one person who doesn’t come to visit anymore.

**

“You should call him.” Steve says one day after they’ve shared and he felt Tony’s unhappiness.

“I don’t have his number… He just… Shows up… I don’t even think he has a phone… Maybe one of those old ones with a button dial or something…” Tony complains, lying on the couch with his face mashed into a pillow. Steve rubs a soothing hand up and down his back. It helps a little. “You really miss him…”

Tony just makes an annoyed sound and buries his face deeper into the pillow.

Steve is kind and supportive, but talking to him doesn’t bring Stephen back. Working helps a little, when he gets so lost in a project that he doesn’t mind being alone. So when there is nothing else to do, Tony works. But even though Tony tries, he can’t work constantly. In the end, he stumbles back to his room, falling into bed without even bothering to change out of his clothes. Sleeping should be nice.

It isn’t.

_When the metal pierces the Hulk’s chest, he roars before turning back to Bruce. With his smaller form, the metal seems even more monstrous and he falls to the ground, unmoving. Clint and Phil are already down, side by side, having defended each other to the end. Somewhere, Natasha screams. Steve is staggering forwards, blood coloring his uniform red. He is reaching out, calling, but Tony can’t move._

_Steve is begging now, panic creeping into his voice. He is coughing blood and falls to his knees. Reaching out._

_Tony can’t move._

_“I trusted you…”_

Tony doesn’t wake up screaming. There is not enough air in his lungs to make a sound. He is gasping, choking on panic and fighting to get out of the covers that seem like restraints around his body.

He is lucky JARVIS doesn’t need words to understand. “You are at home, Sir. It’s 4:34 AM. The weather is calm and clouded. Captain Rogers is asleep in his room. Agents Coulson and Barton are asleep in their room. Agent Romanoff and Doctor Banner are asleep in their room. You are at home.”

Tony gasps for a while, listening to the familiar voice and tries to get his heartbeat under control. The light is pulsing like a strobe light, brighter than usually.

“Are… Are they… S-safe?” Tony gets out between the gasps. He needs to know. He needs to be sure.

“Yes Sir. Everyone is safe and accounted for. Would you like me to call someone? Captain Rogers?” JARVIS says gently. Tony knows he cares, even if people sometimes claims he is just lines of code. Tony knows he is much more.

“No… No, don’t… Don’t wake them… I just… I just need…” Tony has no idea what he needs. Air, mostly. It’s still so hard to breathe. He clutches the covers to his chest, hiding the beating light and leaving him in darkness.

_I trusted you…_

“Lights!” Tony looks around, almost panicking again. He can still see them, still see the blood. “Lights, JARVIS, please…”

But JARVIS isn’t the one to turn on the light. Not at first. It’s the orange shower of sparks that show up at the foot of the bed and suddenly Stephen is there, stepping out of the portal. The lights in the room turn on a second later and Tony almost sobs in relief when Stephen hurries to the bed and encloses the shaking engineer in his arms.

“I’m here Tony, it’s okay… It was just a dream… You’re safe now… You’re safe…”

Tony whimpers and clings to Stephen like a lifesaver. He is still gasping and his heart is jackhammering, but Stephen’s voice is calm and gentle. “You’re going to be okay… I’ll take care of you… Breath with me, come… Deep breath for me…”

It’s a little easier to breathe with Stephen. He can feel the way the mage’s lungs extend and exhale slowly and after a few tries, Tony can breathe with him, slowing his heartbeat bit by bit. Stephen is holding him close, running one hand up and down his back in turn with their breathing.

Tony clings to him long after his breathing is even again. Stephen just holds him close.

“There you go… That’s good Tony… It was just a nightmare, it’s over now… You are safe with me… Just keep breathing…” Stephen says softly, rubbing a gentle circle into Tony’s back. It’s easier to breathe now and his heart is beating slower.

“S… Stephen…” It’s barely a whisper. Tony’s voice isn’t strong enough for more.

“I’m here. I’ll protect you, just like I promised.” Stephen says gently, his breath brushing Tony’s skin warmly.

Tony nods, taking a deep breath and hiding his face against Stephen’s skin. The smell of him is familiar and makes Tony feel safe. Stephen is gently stroking his hair.

Tony has no idea how long they sit like that. JARVIS isn’t talking anymore, knowing that Tony has Stephen to take care of him now.

“How are you feeling Tony?” Stephen asks carefully.

“Don’t leave…” Tony begs, voice small and shaky. He is still holding on to Stephen as tight as possible, even if his body is no longer panicking.

“I’m not.” Stephen promises. “I’ll stay with you. I’ll keep you safe.”

At some point Stephen moves them, making Tony lie down on the bed and pulling the covers over them. Tony lets him do whatever he wants, as long as he doesn’t let go. “I’m still here… I’m getting us comfortable… Just relax now, okay? I’m here…”

Tony nods faintly. He feels exhausted, but it’s hard for him to relax after a nightmare. Being held by Stephen helps and he pillows his head on the mage’s chest. Stephen has an arm around him and starts stroking a finger from Tony’s brow down over his nose repeatedly. Tony slowly feels himself melt into it, letting go of the last of his fear.

“Just sleep Tony… I’ll keep the nightmares away…” Stephen promises. Tony doesn’t answer. His head is spinning a little, but he knows Stephen will keep him safe. It feels like the repetitive motion of Stephen’s finger is dragging his eyes closed and Tony lets out a sigh. Slowly, Tony falls asleep again, protected by Stephen.

**

Tony wakes again to the soft touch of Stephen’s fingers tracing the edge of the metal casing. It feels good, which surprises Tony quite a bit. Ever since the cave, he has been loath to let anyone near him like this, to let anyone touch his greatest vulnerability. That he has since let both Steve and Stephen touch it was quite unexpected for him, especially when he didn’t find it uncomfortable.

For a long while, he doesn’t move. He just stays very still, enjoying the sensation of Stephen’s fingers against his skin.

“I know you are awake…” Stephen says quietly after some time and Tony opens his eyes to find the mage watching him. “How are you feeling?”

“Much better… Thank you…” Tony smiles and turns towards Stephen, only regretting it a little when it makes the other man remove his hand. “How did you know?”

Stephen hesitates for a moment. Then he sits up, letting go of Tony. “That’s not important. We should get some breakfast. I’m guessing you haven’t had a proper meal in days.”

Tony blinks a few times, disoriented by the unexpected change. “I… Um… I’ve had coffee?”

“Coffee is not enough. I’ll make something.” Stephen looks at Tony for a moment before turning and walking to the kitchen with long strides. It takes Tony a few moments to follow him and by then Stephen is already busy cooking. Tony sets the table and makes coffee for himself and tea for Stephen, because he knows the wizard prefers it.

“I… Haven’t seen you in a while…” Tony says after the silence has gone on for a little too long.

“I’ve had much to do. I have many responsibilities as Master of the Mystic Arts.” Stephen says, not turning towards Tony. “And you haven’t been alone. You have your team now.”

“Yeah, I… I guess I do…” Tony says quietly as he sits down. Perhaps he should have expected that. Stephen has a life that doesn’t involve Tony. He can’t expect him to just be there whenever Tony feels a little lonely. Tony has other friends now, they really should be enough, shouldn’t they?

They eat in silence. Stephen hardly looks at Tony and Tony feels cold. He remembers seeing the portal last night, seeing salvation when Stephen had stepped out to help him. He remembers the intense relief he’d felt and he remembers how much he has missed Stephen in the past months. He remembers the first time Stephen held him.

After they eat, Stephen cleans up without a word.

And Tony? Tony’s been missing Stephen long enough to know what to do. Luckily, this was always the part he was famous for.

“I’ve missed you…” Tony says softly, making sure the masking sign is ineffective before putting a hand on Stephen’s shoulder. The mage stops moving, his body tense under Tony’s hand. Then he turns slowly. “I’ve missed you too…”

There is something in his eyes, something that makes Tony’s heart melt a little, but only for a second. Then it is gone and the grey eyes turns to steel. “But you can’t have missed me much. You have been busy with your new friends.”

“That’s different…” Tony says, stepping into Stephen’s space. “They aren’t you…”

“Tony…” Stephen says, his voice different when Tony steps even closer, putting his arms around the man, letting one hand slide up his neck and into the short dark hair.

“Stay…” Tony whispers between kissing Stephen’s jaw, the corner of his mouth, his lips. “Stay with me…”

For a moment, a glorious, brief moment, he feels Stephen’s arms around him, feels the kiss returned. Then the mage pulls away.

“No… Wait… Stop!” Stephen says, pushing Tony away. The engineer stops to look at him. He looks even better like this. His hair is mussed from Tony’s fingers, his lips wet from Tony’s kiss and his eyes are so dark. He is about to comment on it when he sees that Stephen is angry.

“I won’t be another of your conquests Stark!” Stephen all but yells before he opens a portal and leaves abruptly. Tony stays frozen in place for several minutes after that.

**

Hiding pain is nothing new to him. He has friends. He does! It shouldn’t matter that Stephen rejected him so harshly and left after barely spending five minutes with Tony where they were both awake and not panicking.

But it does.

So Tony drinks too much and goes out. He put the opaque glass in the metal casing and makes sure the masking sign is effective. It’s easy to find someone who’ll fuck into him until it can explain the tears.

The tears don’t stop as he leaves, stumbling back to the tower and into his apartment. He goes back to the bedroom and curls up under the covers. They still smell a little of Stephen.

**

There is a knock on his door. JARVIS has to tell him, because Tony didn’t hear it over the furious screaming in his own head.

“Who?” Tony mumbles, reluctant to leave the bed and the covers that he can almost pretend is Stephen’s arms if he closes his eyes and ignore all of reality.

“Captain Rogers, Sir. He appears worried.” JARVIS says, his voice softer than normally. “He says he will not leave until he has spoken to you.”

With a sigh, Tony stumbles out of bed and shuffles to the door. He is reminded of the first time he met Steve, broken and hurting and weak. But Stephen had been there to take care of him.

It hurts to remember, so Tony pushes the memories aside and opens the door. Steve’s eyes widen in surprise when he sees him.

“Tony? Are you okay? What happened?”

“’m fine.” Tony grumbles. He doesn’t need this. Doesn’t need Steve’s pity or worry or whatever else he is coming with. Tony just needs to be left alone so he can go back to drinking and forgetting.

“Tony…” Steve gently puts a hand on his arm. Steve is different than the others. Tony can feel all of them, but Steve is somehow more. None of them are sure how, but Steve seems to be more Otherkind that the rest of them. Tony feels the slight tingle in his skin and he knows that Steve knows. Steve isn’t wearing his dog tags and Tony’s sign is ineffective.

Sharing with Steve was never a problem before, but now Tony finds himself ashamed and pulls away. “It’s fine. He doesn’t want me, so I found someone who did.”

“But you didn’t want them…” Steve says softly, stepping into the apartment without waiting for an invitation. “You want him.”

“He doesn’t want me!” Tony repeats angrily, getting the scotch and pouring himself a large glass. “He told me and he left.”

“What did he say?” Steve is being patient. Tony would prefer him to shout, to explain why this is Tony’s fault. They both know it is.

“He told me he didn’t want to be another conquest…”

“Is that what you want? A night of pleasure so you can move on to the next?” Steve asks. Tony stays quiet, not looking up.

“Did you tell him that?” Steve prods. Tony shakes his head and empties the glass.

“So you tell him now.” Steve continues.

“I can’t contact him. I told you, he doesn’t have a phone.” Tony mutters.

“Are you telling me the great Tony Stark can’t find a mage in New York?” Steve asks, raising an eyebrow. Tony finally looks at him again and the soldier’s eyes soften. “Tony… I know how much you care about him… If you want him for more than a night, tell him. He needs to know!”

**

It takes three days. It’s not really something you can just Google, but Tony has recourses. So he spends three days searching for Stephen. Three days where he doesn’t sleep, doesn’t go out and hardly eats. Steve is there for a lot of it, sometimes forcing Tony to take a break and eat a little.

Tony is out the window the second he has a lock on the location, the suit assembling around him as he plummets rapidly. Steve is yelling something behind him, but Tony can’t listen to that now. He has to find Stephen. He has to explain.

**

He almost stumbles out of the suit when he lands in front of the building, only regaining his balance when he knocks furiously on the door.

A man he doesn’t know opens and looks at Tony through narrow eyes. “Can I help you?”

“I need to talk to Stephen!” Tony rambles. “Now. Is he here?”

“Master Strange is studying. He is not to be disturbed.” The man says, moving to close the door again. Tony blocks it with his foot. “He can study when I’m done. I’m not leaving before I see him.”

“You can’t just come here and – “ The man starts, but Tony isn’t listening. He is pushing the door open and forcing his way into the building. He can apologize later. He is almost past the other man when he hears a voice that makes him freeze completely.

“Wong? What’s going on?”

Tony’s eyes go to the stairs, finding the source of the voice at once. Of course it’s Stephen. Seeing him makes Tony’s heart skip a beat, but Stephen looks different. He is dressed in a loose blue shirt and soft black pants, his hair and beard unkempt. He looks tired and like he just woke up at the same time. When he sees Tony, he stops. “Stark…”

It hurts, hearing his voice like that, cool and confused. It hurts more that he isn’t ‘Tony’ anymore.

“Stephen, I…” Tony falters a little. In his hurry to find Stephen, he forgot to be scared. “I need to talk to you…”

“What makes you think I want to talk?” Stephen says. The man from the door, Wong, steps up besides Tony. “Shall I escort him out?”

“I’m not laving until you talk to me!” Tony says, stepping closer to the stairs and away from Wong. “Please, Stephen, let me explain.”

Stephen sighs and waves his hand. “It’s fine, Wong. I’ll deal with him.”

“I’ll be here if you need me.” Wong says, sending Tony a distrusting glance, before leaving. Stephen turns and starts walking up the stairs again without a word. Tony hurries after him and is led to a small study with several big reading chairs and bookcases along the walls. Stephen turns towards Tony. “Talk…”

Stopping just inside the room, Tony takes a deep breath, trying to ground himself. “I… I wanted to apologize… I shouldn’t have jumped you like that… I just… I was so glad to see you…”

“To be honest, I expected it to happen sooner or later…” Stephen says quietly, some of the anger leaving him.

“Oh…” Tony pauses, forgetting what he wanted to say. Of course, Stephen had expected it. It’s who Tony Stark is, isn’t it? Famous playboy with a new date on the arm every night. It’s what they all see. Why does it hurt so much that Stephen is no different?

“Coffee?” Stephen asks, sitting down in one of the chairs and pointing to a tray with coffee, tea and some biscuits that wasn’t there a minute ago. Tony sits, trying to get his voice working again. He takes a cup of coffee, just to have something to do with his hands. Stephen takes a cup of tea. They are quiet for what feels like a very long time.

It used to be easy to read Stephen, didn’t it? Now Tony has no idea what he is thinking. He is so closed off, focused on his tea and not Tony. They used to see each other’s souls, now he can’t even meet Tony’s eyes.

“You stopped sharing…” Tony says when he can stand the silence any longer. “After… After I moved back to the tower… And when Steve moved in you… You started coming by less often…”

Stephen nods slowly without looking up. He seems… Sad? “When I promised to protect your heart, I forgot about my own…”

“What do you mean?” Tony asks quickly, because there is something there. Something important.

“It doesn’t matter…” Stephen says, setting the tea aside. “Just forget it…”

“No… Stephen…” Tony puts his untouched coffee down and gets up from the chair so he can kneel in front of Stephen, catching his eyes. “Tell me… Please…”

Like this, he can see that Stephen is sad. His eyes are red rimmed like he’s been crying and he looks so tired. Alone.

He sighs and puts a scared hand on Tony’s cheek, almost unwillingly. “I fell in love with the beautiful call of a broken heart that needed me desperately. But your heart is fine now. You don’t need me anymore.” Stephen says sadly.

“Maybe I do.” Tony replies fervently, placing his own hand over Stephen’s. “Maybe I need you more now.”

“You don’t…” Stephen says, finally meeting Tony’s eyes. “You have your friends now… Steve… And…”

“I don’t want Steve! I don’t want the others. Not like I want you.” Tony says, clutching Stephen’s hand. “I want the one who came to me when I had nothing. The one who came to me when I was broken and showed me that I was not alone. I want you.”

Stephen shakes his head. “I can’t… I wouldn’t be able to be with you just once… I can’t do that…”

“Stephen, I…” It still hurts, but Tony is starting to understand that this is how Stephen protects himself. Maybe it’s because Stephen isn’t masked that Tony can feel how scared he is. “I don’t want you for just a night… I want you to stay with me… I want…” He never said anything like this before, never felt like this. “I want forever… I want you to show me forever…”

He can barely breathe while waiting for an answer. He doesn’t get one, not in words. Stephen leans down a little, placing his free hand over Tony’s heart and gives him a very soft kiss. “My forever is you…”

**

Tony has no idea who moves first, but somehow they end up in Stephen’s bed. It’s not the heated undressing and kissing towards sex that is usually how Tony ends up in bed with someone, but slow steps and a hand holding his. They kiss, yes, but it’s soft and sweet and slow.

Stephen’s hands are on his skin, but never straying far, more intend on holding Tony close than exploring his body.

By the bed, Tony takes off the most necessary. His shoes and the belt, the jacket and shirt. Stephen doesn’t change and when they curl up together, they are both mostly dressed, but Tony changes the metal casing so his masker is no longer working.

Then, finally, Stephen shares everything, making Tony understand just how much the mage was able to hold back before. His wonder at the instant connection he felt to Tony, his dread at falling in love with someone who would never want him the same way, his fear turning to anger when Tony had actually made a move. His heartbreak for every second afterwards.

This time, Tony is the soothing presence, the one who mends a broken heart. He shares his own insecurities, his trouble understanding a deeper love and his desire to explore it with Stephen in every way.

It’s intense and intimate and Tony is beginning to understand why Clint always seems so happy when he shares with Phil. It’s something he didn’t know he needed, but now he has it, he has no idea how to function without it. From what he feels, he won’t have to.

At some point they fall asleep, both exhausted. They sleep holding each other close and it’s the most peaceful sleep Tony has had in a long time.

**

Stephen doesn’t move into the tower, but with his portals getting from the Sanctum to the tower is as easy as walking through a door. Tony gives him a phone, so he can get a hold of him when he wants to and Stephen lets him with a patient smile. Stephen is often patient with Tony, listening to him when he talks shop and smiling softly until Tony runs out of air.

They don’t have sex for a long time. Stephen insists on dates and handholding and romantic dinners and Tony is surprised by how much he enjoys that part. It’s not something he has even spent a lot of time on before, but with Stephen, he wants to. He wants to sit with Stephen when they watch moves in the cinema room, he wants the romantic dinners where Stephen talks about his day, he wants to fall asleep in Stephen’s arms without doing more than kissing. He wants their own little piece of forever.

The Avengers still have missions, helping, saving and protecting. Tony fights with the others, following Steve’s orders and fighting the good fight. It’s not bad, actually. Even when he gets hurt, he can come home to Stephen, who will take care of him with his shaking, gentle hands and sweet words. Afterwards, when they lie in bed together, Tony will trace the scars on Stephen’s fingers with his own and Stephen will kiss the edge of the metal casing, never shying away from the most broken part of Tony.

For the first time, Tony has everything he ever wanted. He feels truly happy. Of course, it doesn’t last. At least he isn’t the one whose entire life is turned upside down.


	14. Steve

Living in the tower is a lot better than the apartment in Brooklyn. Steve had thought that he would like to be in his old neighborhood, but everything was different and the few things that weren’t reminded him too much of what he lost. Being in a new place is much better. Living so close to his friends makes the odd, modern building feel like home.

It especially gets better after Tony talks to Stephen and they start dating. It means that Tony finally gets to be happy as well. All the Avengers, as Steve is not ashamed to call them, even if Tony still tease him about the name, are in happy, loving relationships. All but Steve.

He doesn’t complain. He doesn’t mention it if he can avoid it. No reason to make the others feel down on his behalf. He’s fine. Besides, there isn’t anyone he wants. Not in this century anyhow. He missed the end of the line.

**

Working for S.H.I.E.L.D. means more paperwork than Steve ever had to deal with in the army. He doesn’t mind as it gives him something to do between missions. He knows Clint and Tony complain, but filling out forms comes easy to Steve, something he only shares with Phil. Natasha will do her paperwork without complaint, but only because she knows it’s necessary.

He has an office at the compound, small and unimposing. He doesn’t want more, even if they offered him something bigger. It was farther away from the others and he prefers working close to them. Walking for twenty minutes to grab lunch with his friends is too much hassle for a little more floor space.

So he’s on his way to lunch after a day of paperwork when he finds Phil and Tony in one of the bigger halls. Tony doesn’t go to the compound every day, he mostly works from the tower, but he’ll show up once in a while. Clint and Natasha both have the day off, having just returned from a mission to Cambodia.

Tony and Phil are arguing. It sounds like Tony hacked into the S.H.I.E.L.D. servers again and Phil is telling him off for it. Tony doesn’t really listen to that. Steve makes a mental note to have Stephen talk to Tony about it. Tony listens to his boyfriend more than anyone else.

“Hey.” Steve says as he steps over and interrupts their discussion.

“Steve, would you tell Agent that – “

“Captain Rogers, if you could convince Mr. Stark – “

“No!” Steve says firmly, making both of them shut up. “I’m not getting dragged into this again. I want lunch and I don’t want to listen to the two of you bickering. Peace. Understood?”

“Aye aye Captain.” Tony winks at him and salutes with two fingers.

“Yes sir.” Phil nods. Steve is still not really sure he outranks the agents, as ‘Captain’ was always more of a stage name than his actual rank. He never did get much training before going to war, but it seems to have been enough.

“Good.” Steve smiles, wanting to say something more, but a murmur of sounds makes him stop. Both Tony and Phil are looking at him, waiting for him to continue, so they haven’t heard it yet. Benefits of his enhanced hearing. People are talking in hushed whispers. He can’t make out much, but he hears the word ‘Hunter’ clearly.

Steve quickly turns in the direction of the sounds, making both Phil and Tony look in the same way. Phil’s mouth becomes a thin line when he sees the group of men coming in the door at the far end of the hall. People are stopping their conversations to look at them as well.

“STRIKE…” Phil says quietly. “They are in charge of hunting Otherkind for the IOKC. They must be serious if they’ve brought The Asset.”

“The Asset?” Tony asks, unconsciously stepping a little closer to Steve.

“He’s their best Hunter. He has never failed an assignment…” Phil continues, but Steve stopped listening. He is watching the little group of men. Five of them are dressed the same, dark uniforms with the words STRIKE in white on the shoulder and different weapons strapped to their sides and backs. The last man is dressed in dark clothes too, but the design is distinctive. The neckline is lowed, so the collar around his neck is obvious and there is a red star on his shoulder. On the chest of his uniform and twice on the collar are masking signs, obvious red against black. People in the hall shy away from his menacing stance and refuse to meet his ice-cold grey eyes.

Steve can’t take his eyes away from the Hunter. The Asset.

The hair is longer, the stance is different, the build is a little bigger. But the face is the same.

The face is exactly like he remembers. 

Steve snaps back when the little group stops directly in front like him, Tony and Phil. Their leader smiles and nods at them. “Captain Rogers. Agent Coulson. Mr. Stark.”

“Agent Rumlow.” Phil says with what Steve knows him well enough the see is a forced smile. “Do you suspect Otherkind at S.H.I.E.L.D. since you bring a collared Hunter here?”

“You know I can’t tell you that.” Rumlow smiles broad enough to show his teeth. “But it never hurts to bring The Asset out. Reminds those freaks who’s coming for them.”

“Of course. I can’t imagine anyone wanting to be tracked down by the most dangerous man in STRIKE.” Phil says when Rumlow laughs.

“Needless to say, no one wants to be caught by him either.” Rumlow slaps Phil’s shoulder with another laugh and waves his men on down the hall. Phil nods at them, but only the soldiers return it. The Asset doesn’t even glance their way as he walks by close enough for Steve to reach out and touch him. Then they are gone, turned down one of the adjoining hallways.

**

“Steve? Steve, you with us? Come on, Stevie baby, back to earth. There we go…”

Tony’s voice cuts through the confused jumble in Steve’s head. It takes him a moment to realize that they are in the cafeteria, seated at a table and there is food in front of him. He doesn’t remember ordering anything.

“Steve, when was the last time you had anything to eat?” Phil asks, a little louder than strictly necessary. Steve looks around briefly to see several people sending them wondering glances.

“I… Um… I forgot breakfast…” Steve lies quickly. Phil nods. “Maybe you should go back to the tower with Tony. With your metabolism, missing a meal can quickly become a problem. Whatever paperwork you have can wait until tomorrow, I’m sure.”

Steve just nods, eating what is on his plate without ever noticing what it is.

**

“First time seeing a collared Hunter?” Tony asks when they are safely inside the elevator in the tower. They left as soon as Steve was done eating. He is pretty sure Tony and Phil kept a normal conversation going, but he didn’t participate. “I’m guessing they weren’t a thing when you grew up. It’s never fun seeing someone betray their own race like that for the first time.”

“What?” Steve looks up, finally registering what Tony is talking about. “Betraying?”

“Yeah. They live in the IOKC camps and come out to find Otherkind hiding among the humans. I’m told they get benefits for it, better food, more freedom, yadda yadda, but they still seem like traitors to me.” Tony turns as the doors open on their floor and guides Steve to the couch. He’s had a hand on Steve’s arm to steer him as much as possible to prevent the soldier from stopping in the middle of the room.

“No… No, he wouldn’t do that…” Steve mumbles as he lets himself fall into the couch and hides his face in his hands.

“Come on, big guy, drink up. It helps.” Tony says as he returns, placing a tumbler of scotch in Steve’s hand.

“It… It doesn’t…” Steve looks up, confused.

“Doesn’t work on you, I know, but sometimes doing the action helps as much as the alcohol. Down with it.” Tony lifts his own tumbler and empties it. Steve follows. The alcohol burns a little on the way down, but that’s all. Still, he feels a little more put together when he puts the glass down.

“They don’t know.” Tony says comfortingly. “They are just doing random checks. It’s probably because of the rumors of Otherkind gathering and fighting back, helping each other. It happens sometimes and then STRIKE hurries out to scare them back into hiding. They come to SI from time to time as well. If they knew of anyone, they wouldn’t bother with a Hunter. They’d just arrest them.”

“That’s… That’s not it…” Steve says more quietly than he intended. Getting his voice to cooperate is surprisingly hard.

“What then? Rumlow? We all know he’s a discriminatory pig.” Tony says, halfway up to get more scotch, when Steve speaks again.

“The Hunter. The Asset. I knew him…”

Tony stops moving before slowly sitting down again, giving Steve his full attention.

“It was Bucky…”


	15. Steve

Bucky had been the brave one. Bucky had been to one to come home one day, determination written all over his face, walk up to Steve and state “I won’t do this anymore. I can’t. I’m sick of the lying.”

Steve had been terrified that his lies had been discovered and hadn’t known what to say. Bucky didn’t need an answer, however, and just barreled on. “I’m going to do two things now. Afterwards, you can report me for either one.”

Then Bucky had taken his watch off and leaned forwards to kiss Steve. Steve’s brain had no idea what to process first: the feeling of Otherkind in the room or the fact that Bucky’s lips were on his. Luckily, Steve’s body didn’t need his brain to make a decision as his arms went around Bucky’s waist on their own and his lips returned the kiss without asking his brain permission.

That day was the first time Steve shared with anyone other than his mother.

**

“That’s not possible. I mean… It’s just not possible…” Tony mumbles, looking at his many screens and shaking his head. Steve understands the feeling all too well.

Bucky can’t be alive. Steve saw him die on the worst day of his life. Saw him fall forever into an icy river and disappear. Losing him had been the reason Steve didn’t even try to find a way of the plane and just crashed it into the freezing water. He had wanted to join Bucky in an icy grave.

He didn’t find Bucky. Instead, he woke up in the future, lost and confused until Phil helped him. He is still in the future, but now Bucky is there too, as a Hunter who doesn’t seem to know Steve.

They are in Tony’s lab. Steve is watching the engineer in equal parts impatience and worry. Hacking the IOKC is nothing like hacking S.H.I.E.L.D., which Tony does ever so often just to mess with Fury. Anything perceived as an attack on the Institute is enough to get you dragged off to one of their camps for interrogation. Neither Steve nor Tony would be able to hide the truth once there. And still, Steve can’t bring himself to make Tony stop. He needs to know.

“There isn’t much… Wait, there… There might be something here…” Tony says, tapping furiously on a holographic keyboard. “Something called Winter Soldier… No, it’s… Someone…”

He pulls a file up onto the screen in front of them. Most of it is in Russian, but Steve hardly looks at that. His eyes fall on the picture and after that he is unable to look away because it’s Bucky. His hair is longer and he didn’t have a beard during the war, but it _is_ him.

The entire picture seems tinted blue. Grey metal surrounds Bucky’s pale face and his eyes are closed. There seems to be some kind of mist behind the frosted glass that covers the container Bucky is in. He could be asleep, but Steve has a feeling that Bucky wouldn’t wake up on his own from this. It makes him feel as cold as the frost on the glass.

“What… What is that?” Steve whispers.

“It’s... Um… In Russian… J., help me out here.” Tony says as he pulls more files up on screens around them. When Steve finally manages to tear his eyes away from the picture of Bucky, the screens are doubling, making an overlay in English for them to read. A whole lot of it is redacted, making it hard to get much meaning out of what’s left. It looks like old files written on a typewriter and then scanned into the computer later on.

“The Winter Soldier…” Tony reads. “Cryogenically frozen after mission… Then a whole lot of nothing… Kept in stasis… Something about training… Hmm… The chair? Don’t know what that’s about…”

“They… They kept him frozen?” Steve gasps. He cannot imagine anything more terrifying than getting frozen after a mission, only to be awoken later without knowing how much time has passed. Steve still wakes up sometimes, screaming and scared that he has lost time again and everything he just got to know is gone.

“Seems like it. It explains why he is still alive, but not how he got into STRIKE hands or why he didn’t seem to care about you at all. You were close, right?” Tony says, a little more quiet than usually. Steve nods. Tony knows. Steve has shared his pain and longing for Bucky often when they have been alone.

“How did they even know…” Steve whispers, still unable to look away from the picture.

“Maybe they found out when he enlisted. It’s hard to keep that kind of secret in the army. You know that.” Tony says, still working on the computer.

“He didn’t…” Steve says quietly. “Bucky didn’t enlist… He was drafted… I was the one who…” He has to stop, to breathe. Bucky never wanted to fight. He had been so scared when he got the draft letter. He only ever wanted to stay with Steve.

“Sir, Agent Coulson is on his way down.” JARVIS informs them after they’ve been quiet for a moment.

“Ah, right. Just let him in. He’ll want to hear this.” Tony says, still looking at the screens. Steve sits down on the nearest available chair, his eyes back on the picture. He is still having a hard time wrapping his mind around what he just learned. Not only is Bucky alive, but also is he a Hunter for STRIKE. Steve knows that Bucky would never willingly give his own kind away, so something must have happened. ‘Training’ Tony had said. Somehow, the word seems far more sinister than normally.

“They left without incident. They don’t know anything.” Phil says as he enters the room, looking from Tony to Steve and then to the myriad of screens around them. “What’s all this?”

“Research on Steve’s Hunter.” Tony says, pulling a few more files up.

“The Asset?” Phil asks.

“Don’t!” Steve almost shouts and stands to face Phil without really knowing where the anger is coming from. “Don’t… Call him that… He’s not… That’s not who he is…”

Phil takes a surprised step away and Steve deflates immediately. “I’m sorry… It just…”

Why is it so hard to talk about? To Steve’s luck, Tony steps in. “They call him The Winter Soldier, but that’s not who he is. If we’re right – and I really doubt Steve is wrong about this – his real name is James Buchanan Barnes…”

“No, that’s… That’s impossible…” Phil looks from on to the other until his eyes fall on the picture and Steve sees the realization in his eyes. Phil was a fan of Captain America and it was impossible to hear about him without hearing about his faithful Sergeant. “Oh no…”

“Yeah… So… We’ve got a problem…” Tony says slowly, still looking a little strange at Steve. The Captain rarely loses his composure like this, but he never had much control when it came to keeping Bucky safe. “We have to get him.”

“Steve, we can’t. He is a STRIKE Hunter. You don’t get anywhere near him unless you’re a handler or captured Otherkind. Just asking questions will put you on the Institutes radar. There is no way we can – “

“We have to!” Steve is screaming now, but he doesn’t care. Doesn’t care that he is yelling at his friends, doesn’t care that Phil is arguing with logic, doesn’t care how hard or dangerous it is going to be. He doesn’t care. “I am not losing him again!”

Phil looks at him for a long time and then there is something in his eyes, understanding maybe. “Okay. But if we are doing this, we do it together. And we make a plan.”

**

_“I love you Stevie. I’m with you ‘till the end of the line.”_

**

Steve can almost hear Phil thinking while they wait for the others to return. They sometimes spend their days off going to an ice rink to skate. Steve has never been, but from what he hears, Natasha is very skilled and Clint is not bad either. Bruce doesn’t go on the ice with them, but he likes to watch from the benches and bring snacks for when they take breaks.

For once, Steve leaves the planning to Phil. Steve might be a brilliant strategist, but Phil has been planning S.H.I.E.L.D. missions most of his life and knows more about the workings of STRIKE than Steve. Besides, no one expects Steve to make any rational decisions at the moment, not even Steve himself. Instead, he is pacing the floor in the shared kitchen. Tony has assured him several times that there is no way anyone can find out what they are saying here and Steve is forcing himself to trust that. It’s not enough to make him relax, so he keeps pacing.

Tony is working on his StarkPad with JARVIS, trying to get more information without drawing attention. They are both useful. Steve isn’t. His only plan right now is to go straight to STRIKE and demand to see Bucky.

He hears Natasha’s laughter before the elevator doors open and the trio steps out. They look happy and tired, having had a good day with no responsibilities. That changes as soon as the catch a glimpse of Steve.

“What’s wrong?” Natasha asks, all levity gone from her posture and replaced with vigilance. Clint looks to Phil for an explanation. The agent sighs. “Do any of you know of The Asset?”

“The Hunter?” Natasha asks. “Only a very little. They keep a tight lid on any information about him. Why?”

“He was at S.H.I.E.L.D. today. Not – “ Phil adds quickly when he sees their worried faces. “Not to Hunt anyone. Just as a show of force. They don’t suspect anything about us. But he… Steve recognized him as Sargent Barnes.”

“Barnes? Who… Hang on. You mean James Barnes, Captain America’s famous sidekick?” Clint asks, looking from Steve to Phil.

“Bucky wasn’t my sidekick.” Steve mumbles, but it’s more habit than anything else. Bucky didn’t mind being called a sidekick, but Steve always hated that people could ever see Bucky as lesser than him. Bucky was the brave one.

“I do.” Phil says, when it’s clear that Steve isn’t going to continue. “It seems they kept him frozen between missions…”

**

_“Asthmatic wimp or gigantic muscleman, you are still a punk.”_

_“Jerk.”_

_“You know you love me.”_

**

The pizza boxes on the table have long since been emptied and the beer in Steve’s hand is empty as well. It took a while to explain what they found, to get everyone up to speed with what happened. Steve had let Tony and Phil handle most of the talking. He is still working on understanding that Bucky is _alive_.

The beer isn’t actually doing anything for him, but Tony was right that the action and taste helps a little.

“So…” Clint says from atop the cabinets where he climbed up halfway through the conversation, making Phil hand him pizza from time to time. “We are going to try and rescue a Hunter, who may not want to be rescued, from STRIKE, because he is actually Captain America’s right-hand-man from World War 2? Have I got that right?”

“Yeah, that’s about it.” Tony says, looking up from his third cup of coffee in the last hour. He stopped eating a long time ago.

“Okay. So how do we do it?” Clint sits up and stretches.

“We have to get him alone…” Phil says slowly, looking ahead without seeing anything in the room. “Somewhere secluded. We won’t stand a chance if STRIKE is anywhere nearby…”

“So you have a plan?” Clint asks, jumping down from the cabinets with a wide smile.

“Yes… I have a plan…”

**

_“You ready to follow Captain America into the jaws of death?”_

_“Hell, no! The little guy from Brooklyn who was too dumb not to run away from a fight. I'm following him.”_


	16. Steve and The Winter Soldier

It is surprisingly easy for Phil to prove to Rumlow that S.H.I.E.L.D. needs The Asset’s help in tracing down a dangerous criminal who might be Otherkind. Phil explains that STRIKE often works with S.H.I.E.L.D. in similar cases, but that Phil usually avoids it if he can.

Phil had made the plan and when Tony had calmed Steve enough to listen, he could see that it was good and help with the last details.

Clint had known a place, something that had already been a ruin when he was traveling with the circus, far off any beaten path. They couldn’t find it on any recent maps and it had no connection to any of them. Clint’s circus had passed through a town some miles away and Clint had gone exploring on his own to get away. It’s as secluded as anything. Stephen searched the area with magic and found nothing.

They set a perimeter with magic, technology and people. Stephen helps, because Tony asked him and the mage seems unable to deny Tony any genuine request. Tony has his suit and Natasha and Clint are hidden at the edge of the area.

Of course Steve gets to be the bait. Even if it didn’t make logical sense, he would have insisted. His Otherkind aura is by far the strongest, so he will be the best to lure a Hunter. They tested how far it goes and Tony set up surveillance controlled by JARVIS to inform them of anyone enters the area. Phil is back at the compound with Rumlow, controlling the operation from the other side. It surprised Steve that they wouldn’t have to dispatch of any STRIKE soldiers, but apparently The Asset works alone.

He didn’t bring the shield. It’s at S.H.I.E.L.D. and trying to take it would have raised questions. He’ll just have to make do without.

They have been waiting for a few hours and Steve hasn’t moved since getting to the little shack. He needs to keep his mind on the mission. All the nervous energy from finding the truth has been focused into patience and planning. He cannot fail!

The building is little more than a weathered shed, wooden walls and broken windows all around. They spend some time covering the windows, making it impossible to look in from the outside. There is no furniture anymore, only a few broken bits of what used to be a table and probably some chairs. They need him to enter. Stephen placed a small spell on the building, hiding the door from anyone on the inside. Steve can’t even remember which wall it is supposed to be on.

It is quiet for a long time. Then…

“There is something here… Hang on, it’s.... Fuck, that’s scary…”

“Focus Tony. What is it?” Steve commands. He needs them to be his eyes outside.

“It’s him. Full tac suit, complete with mask and goggles, but it’s him. They haven’t even tried to hide the collar.” Tony replies, voice a little more even now.

“He’s coming this way?” Steve looks around the small room. He can’t know from which way the attack will come, but they decided it was better this way. Better to keep him inside and let him have an element of surprise. Steve is used to fighting and hopefully he won’t have too much of a disadvantage. STRIKE will want to take him alive, so he doesn’t expect lethal force. They are lucky that Bucky – The Winter Soldier – is expected to be skilled enough to handle him alone. There are no other people in a seven-mile radius.

“Yeah, he’s making a beeline for you. Even I can feel you from here, so he shouldn’t have any trouble finding you.” Tony comments.

“I’m ready.” Steve rolls his shoulders and straightens up, readying himself to fight. He wants to end it quickly and not hurt Bucky more than he has too.

“Steve…” Tony hesitates, but there is something in his voice that makes Steve pay attention.

“What?”

“Watch out for his left arm. There’s… Something about it…” Tony says quietly.

“What about his left arm?” Steve asks.

“I’m not sure. Just… The way he moves it… It’s different…” He sounds hesitant, unsure, but Steve didn’t stay alive this long by ignoring his team’s instincts. “I’ll keep an eye out.”

“Good. Because he is almost at the hut.” Clint pipes in. He is closer to the shack than Tony, so someone can have eyes on the door when Steve is unable to.

In less than a minute, he senses it. It’s not Otherkind or superhuman or anything. It’s the finely honed instincts of a soldier, telling him the enemy is approaching.

The sound to his right tells him to door must have been opened, but he still can’t see it. Strange obviously knows his magic. But he can see Bucky. Or, at least, he can see The Winter Soldier, Bucky’s face hidden behind the muzzle and goggles. The uniform is different, all black this time, but the collar is the same, the twin masking signs screaming out to Steve like small flames.

He stands up straight, seemingly having picked a direct approach when he couldn’t get much intel about Steve or the shack from outside. For a second, they just stay still, watching each other. If Bucky is surprised that Steve does neither attack him nor try to flee, he doesn’t show it. Then, he raises a hand and pulls off the muzzle and goggles.

“Surrender.” He says, in a cold, flat voice. “You are Otherkind. You will be taken to The Institute for Otherkind Control.”

“Get ready Cap.” Tony says quietly in his ear, before pushing a button. It’s a small EMP, but enough to take out any communication or trackers within the shack. Steve expected to see surprise when Bucky noticed, but he didn’t expect the entire left arm to go limp. Tony was right, there is something off about that arm.

“I’m not going to surrender Buck.” Steve says calmly, hoping the name will help in any way, but Bucky’s face doesn’t show any recognition.

“You will go peacefully or be brought in with force.” Is the only answer he gets. The voice is emotionless, so different from how Bucky used to sound.

“That’s not gonna happen.” Steve says quietly.

It seems Bucky is tired of waiting as he steps forwards and reaches out to grab Steve, who steps back to avoid him. He really, really would have preferred to avoid this. Bucky is the last person in the world he wants to hurt.

But it seems there is no avoiding this now. Bucky crouches down, preparing to fight and Steve mimics the movement. He needs to find a way to make Bucky listen, to make him remember. Hopefully, the limp left arm will give Steve an advantage.

“Please don’t make me do this.” Steve pleads quietly.

Bucky pounces. He moves quickly and surely, seemingly not much bothered by the arm. He is on Steve in seconds, forcing him back and trying to pin him to the wall using only his right arm. Steve plants his feet and holds his ground, wrapping both arms around Bucky’s waist and trying to wrestle him to the ground. He doesn’t know what the others are doing, only that the plan is for Clint and Natasha to keep a lookout and for Tony and Stephen to provide backup should they be needed. Steve hopes he will be able to handle Bucky on his own, but he also knows that there is a big likelihood he will need help.

With Bucky being a little unbalanced from the unresponsive arm, Steve manages to hook a foot around his ankle and topple both of them over, so they are rolling on the dirty floor amidst the broken tree and dust. Steve is on top, using his entire weight to pin Bucky to the ground. For a moment, neither of them move. Then there is a whirring sound and suddenly, Bucky’s left arm slams into Steve’s side with enough force to knock him off.

Stupid! The arm must have restarted somehow; Steve should have paid attention to it. He rolls away and quickly gets to his feet. Behind him, Bucky is standing too. Steve turns towards him.

“You know me.” Steve says, trying for firm but it’s hard to keep the pleading note out of his voice.

“No I don’t!” Bucky says, anger making its way into his formerly so emotionless voice. He jumps forwards and hits Steve with the left hand, hard enough that Steve can feel the bones bend a little. It’s definitely not a normal arm.

Steve twists to the side, getting out under Bucky’s right arm and pushes him into the wall. Taking a step back, he tries again. “Bucky… You’ve known me your whole life…”

Instead of answering, Bucky moves forwards again, trying to hit Steve again and again with the left hand. More than once he connects and Steve is starting to feel the fight. Something must be broken by now and he can taste blood.

“Your name… Is James Buchanan Barnes…” Steve says firmly. This is the truth. Bucky needs to know the truth, needs to remember.

“Shut up!” Bucky is shouting now, hitting the wall next to Steve’s head with his left hand. Steve has been backed into the wall, Bucky standing in front of him, looking furious and a little desperate.

“I’m not gonna fight you… You’re my friend…” Steve takes his hands down, letting Bucky move in closer. He can’t do this. He won’t.

“You’re my mission.” Bucky snarls, lifting his left hand again. His eyes are wide and beneath the rage, Steve can almost see the increasing panic.

“Then finish it… ‘Couse I’m with you ‘till the end of the line…” Steve says calmly. He would rather it end like this than live in a world where Bucky doesn’t know him. He keeps is eyes open, looking into Bucky’s. They are still the same, deep down. The grey eyes he spend so much time looking into so long ago. It’s not a bad last sight.

Bucky hesitates. His hand is raised, trembling slightly from the effort, either of holding back of preparing to fight. Steve doesn’t move. Neither does Bucky. There is something else in his eyes, something fragile and still buried deep.

Then the wall next to them smashes into pieces and suddenly Tony is there, the suit moving faster than both Bucky and Steve can react. Tony lands behind Bucky, gripping his left wrist with one hand and pinning Bucky to his chest with the other. Bucky freezes for a second, unmoving and confusion fills his eyes. Then he struggles in Tony’s grip, but the suit proves strong enough to hold him.

“Bucky… Bucky, please…” Steve takes a step out from the wall towards Bucky and Tony, holding out a hand. Bucky is watching him carefully, but unmoving now he knows he can’t get free. Steve reaches forwards to removes the collar. It’s much tighter than he expected and locked in the back. Carefully, as not to hurt Bucky, Steve grasps it with both hands and tears it apart, letting the feeling of Otherkind free, still familiar after so long.

Steve then places his hand on Bucky’s cheek, opening his soul to share and meets nothing. No thoughts, no memories, no feelings. Where Bucky’s soul should be is just a huge, freezing void.

With a start, Steve pulls away. He has never felt anything like that, not even when he was drowning in icy water so long ago.

“Steve?” Tony asks, worried. Steve shakes his head and reaches out again. Bucky might not remember, but Steve does. And so, Steve shares everything. Every memory, every feeling, every thought of Bucky he’s ever had. He pours it into the empty void, searching for any reaction. Anything at all.

Somewhere, hidden deep within the void, is a scream.

This time, Steve doesn’t pull back. He keeps pushing, sending his feelings into Bucky, sharing every good memory he has of Bucky. Every time Bucky made him laugh or smile or feel safe. Every soft touch and gentle word he remembers. The taste of Bucky’s lips the first time they kissed. The taste of his skin afterwards.

Something shatters then, and the void is filled with pain and blood and fear and loneliness.

“Steve…”

It’s hoarse and broken and faint, but it’s there.

“I’m here. I’m here Buck. Tony, let go of him. It’s okay. I’m right here Bucky.” Steve says quickly, not letting go of Bucky. He knows Tony hesitates, but is glad that it is only for a brief second. Then he loosens his grip on Bucky and Steve gently lowers the two of them to the floor. “I’ve got you. You’re safe now. You are safe with me Bucky.”

Bucky is clinging to him, gripping so hard that both hands are going to leave bruises, but Steve hardly feels it. It doesn’t matter. He just holds Bucky close and keeps up an endless litany of gentle words.

He is dimly aware of someone else entering, of Tony talking, but his primary focus is the trembling man in his arms.

It’s not until he hears a sound and looks up to see a sparkling portal next to them that he moves. Slowly, gently, he helps Bucky to his feet. The other man doesn’t seem really aware of what is happening, never slacking his grip on Steve, but following him when he starts moving. Steve guides him through the portal, which leads them to his living room before it disappears. The others will clear the scene; leave a trail that leads far away before staging a fight that could have killed The Asset. Steve can just focus on Bucky.

Steve places them on the couch. Bucky doesn’t seem to _be_ shaking any more, but he still _looks_ shaken.

“Do you know me?” Steve asks gently, putting his hand over Bucky’s right because it is still shaking a little.

“Your mother's name was Sarah. You used to wear newspapers in your shoes.” Bucky says quietly, like the words are coming to him almost without his control. Like it’s something he just knows, without knowing how he knows it.

“Yeah… I did… I used to be a lot smaller…” Steve says just as quiet, but he can’t hide his smile.


	17. Bucky and Steve

Bucky listens while Steve explains. Well, he mostly listens to Steve’s voice, because it’s soft and familiar and _safe_. Safer than anything he has felt in a very long time. Steve doesn’t seem to be in a hurry, so Bucky hopes there will be time for another explanation when is head isn’t spinning so as much.

“Bucky, are you listening?” Steve asks and Bucky just look at him. At his face and his oh-so-blue eyes. He leans into Steve, wanting to be closer, but the tac suit is restrictive, too tight and hard and reminding him of everything before Steve. Everything after Steve.

“I want…” Bucky whispers and isn’t that a new thought? Wanting something and actually thinking he can get it? “I want it off… I want…”

Bucky’s own hands are a little too frantic to make any real headway, but Steve takes them again. “Okay… Here, let me help…”

Steve is so different than what he is used to. At STRIKE everything is hard and strong, tearing, bending until you break. Steve’s hands are gentle and soft against his skin as they slowly undress Bucky. Then Steve sees the arm and freezes and Bucky feels panic rising inside him. This isn’t what Steve remembers. This is wrong and bad and dangerous. Maybe Steve won’t like it, maybe he won’t like Bucky, because Bucky isn’t Otherkind anymore, he is something else, something terrible.

When Steve moves, it’s to trace the seam where flesh meets metal with careful fingers. “Does it hurt?”

“Yes.” Don’t lie, never lie. They want the truth. “But I can function.”

“You don’t have to. I have a friend…” Steve is looking at him now, blue eyes filled with worry. “Tony… He builds things… Maybe he can help…”

Bucky just nods. He will agree to anything Steve says, anything but leaving Steve.

**

Tony won’t be back until later, so Steve makes dinner for them after he has helped Bucky put on some of Steve’s pajamas. It feels much better than the tac suit, soft and thin, made for comfort, not for killing. It makes Bucky feel like he is meant for something else too.

Dinner is familiar, even if he can’t pinpoint how. He just knows it’s a dish Steve has made for him before and when he takes a second helping, wanting to keep the familiar feeling close for as long as possible, he sees Steve smiling at him like a fool.

“Stop staring like that and eat something, punk.” Bucky says, the words leaving his mouth before he is even aware of them. They just make Steve smile even more, but he does eat. It’s still his first portion, so Bucky shovels a little more food onto his plate. Steve needs to stay strong.

Why though? It’s an instinct deep in Bucky, to keep Steve fed and strong, but for a moment, he is not really sure why. Then he remembers a small, frail figure coughing in a bed. Long ago, when Steve was different and needed to eat more than they could afford to stay strong.

“Bucky?” Steve asks, lightly placing a hand on his. On the left, like he doesn’t care that it’s wrong.

“You used to be sick… But not anymore…” Bucky says slowly and Steve nods. “Yeah, I was sick a lot. You took care of me. But the serum changed that. I haven’t been sick since.”

Bucky nods, looking down at his food. He used to take care of Steve. He used to be a killer. What is he supposed to be now? Before, Steve showed him love. But what if Steve doesn’t need him anymore? Who is he then, if not a murderer?

“You okay Buck?”

Don’t lie. Never lie.

But how to explain the truth?

“I… I don’t know…”

“Okay…” Steve puts a warm hand on Bucky’s skin. On the human hand, where he can feel the soft tingle, even if Steve has to reach a little further. It’s familiar for his body even if his mind still can’t really place it. “You don’t have to be okay… After what have been done to you, I wouldn’t expect you to be… But I’m here. I’m going to help you in any way I can. I’m your friend and I’m gonna do everything in my power to help you be okay!”

“My friend?” Bucky asks quietly. He is looking at their hands, he can’t bring himself to look at Steve. There is something off about that.

“I’ll always be your friend Buck.” Steve promises, his fingers gently caressing Bucky’s hand. “But… There was a time we were more… I didn’t want to presume, but I… I do still love you…”

“I… I don’t… Remember…” Everything seems too far away, just out of reach, even if he _knows_ it’s there. The fragments are so small they slip between his fingers when he tries to hold on to them. He finally meets Steve’s blue eyes. “Sh… Show me? Show me how it feels to love you…”

Steve moves closer and his eyes are so soft. “Of course. As much as you need Bucky.”

Steve’s hand is on his neck then, their foreheads pressed together, and then Steve invites him into his soul. It’s so well known that it brings tears to his eyes even if he is not completely sure why.

It’s there. Like an eternal fire burning in Steve, a fire that even time and ice could not extinguish. It spreads, setting the empty void in Bucky aflame and burning some of the pain away. In the fire, there are memories. Memories of a small boy with fire in his soul and a failing body. Of love hidden and shared. Of secret word whispered in the darkness.

Memories of Steve. Of his Stevie.

The memories last a lot longer than the sharing. They aren’t coming from Steve anymore, they are Bucky’s own. Some are faded or distorted, fragments of a life long ago, but they are still within him, still part of him.

When the world returns around him, he is leaning heavily on Steve, his head on the Avenger’s shoulder. Steve is holding him steady with one arm while the other is stroking his back soothingly.

“Hey… Are you back with me?” Steve asks softly after a moment. Bucky nods and Steve’s hand moves to his hair and neck.

“You seemed far away…” Steve comments. Bucky wants to answer, he really does, but words are impossible. He can’t focus his thought enough to say anything and even if he could, there are no words to express what is going on inside him.

Steve hums. “You don’t have to say anything… I think it’s time to get some rest. Come on, come with me…”

Steve slowly gets up, never lessening the support he is giving Bucky, who would fall over on his own. With an arm around Bucky’s waist, he guides the former soldier into the bedroom and helps him into the bed. Bucky just follows. He will always follow where Steve leads, he knows that more surely than he knows his name.

Always, unless Steve leaves. So when Steve starts to pull back, Buck grabs his arm and holds on. He feels something, faintly, something that almost happens, but not quiet. It’s enough to make Steve pause, however, and that is all Bucky needs.

“Do you want me to stay?” Steve asks and Bucky nods, trying to convey his desperation into the weak motion. Steve just smiles and lies down next to him. Without even thinking about it, Bucky moves closer, until he is pressed up against Steve and the blonde wraps his arms around the brunette. It feels right, like this is where he is supposed to be. His body relaxes, knowing it is safe, even if his mind has still not caught on.

“Just rest Buck… I’ve got you…” Steve whispers into his hair and Bucky’s eyes slip closed.

This is safe.

He is safe.

Steve is safe.

**

When he wakes up again, Steve makes omelets, light and fluffy with bacon on the side. Steve doesn’t ask anything of him, just talks about his life since waking up. Bucky listens to his voice again, eating because it’s what Steve expects of him.

The food is better and the apartment is warmer, but when Bucky closes his eyes, he is somewhere else. A quiet morning long ago, Steve talking about his day and Bucky eating breakfast before leaving for work.

It seems Steve can afford better now. All the things they couldn’t before.

The memories are still hazy, but they are coming back. Some are stronger than others. One, especially, seems important.

Bucky gets up and walk over the Steve, who is putting the milk back in the fridge. He licks his lips before speaking. “I… I’m going to do two things now… Afterwards, you can report me for either one…”

He leans forwards a little, placing a soft kiss on Steve’s lips. When Steve opens his mouth, it feels just like Bucky remembers. Steve’s arms are around him, pulling him closer and he can almost taste the smile.


	18. Tony

No one sees Steve for several days. He took some days off before they went to find The Asset, so no one at S.H.I.E.L.D. is looking for him, but they don’t see him in the tower either. JARVIS informs Tony that Steve is still in his apartment, his attention focused on his new houseguest. Tony is impatient, but he doesn’t disturb them. He has shared enough with Steve to know how important this is.

When Steve finally does emerge, it is to find Tony working on his Iron Man suit. Stephen is gone on some magic business, so he has more time than usually. Stephen did explain where he was going and why, but Tony still has trouble understanding that magic is an actual thing that exists and sometimes it’s easier to just not listen.

Of course, many Otherkind have been accused of sorcery during the years, but that’s not the same. It’s genetics, not magic.

He mostly remembers Stephen saying that he might be gone a few days and that’s fine. Tony can handle being alone now, he knows that Stephen will always come back to him. He also knows that he is never really alone in the tower, his friends are close by.

That doesn’t stop him from missing Stephen and trying to pass the time by working.

**

There are protocols in place in the workshop. Tony has a list of people who are allowed to enter without having to wait for his permission, so they don’t disturb his work. Steve is one of them, so when he enters quietly, it’s not unusual. The company he brings with him, however, is.

They wait patiently while Tony works, so for a long while, he isn’t aware of them. Then he looks up to see them leaning one of the tables by the door, talking quietly. Tony blinks in surprise and turns off his blowtorch.

“Um… Hi?”

“Hey Tony. We didn’t want to disturb you.” Steve smiles and walks over. His shadow follows soundlessly. He might be Bucky to Steve, but Tony still sees the Hunter from STRIKE when he first looks, so he takes a moment to get his heart under control again while Steve talks.

“It’s fine. I love to assist the elderly in the community.” Tony says with a smile. He is not really scared of Bucky, not after everything he knows from Steve, he just needs a moment to get used to him being there.

Steve smiles patiently, as he often does when Tony comments about his age, before he speaks. “We do need your help. Bucky’s arm hurts.”

“And you come to me? Bruce might not be that kind of doctor, but don’t you think he’d be better suited for…” Tony trails off, because Bucky has removed his shirt. And no, it is not because of his very muscular chest (it is a little), but the arm. The arm is beautiful, sleek metal moving almost naturally with his body. But still unnatural enough that Tony noticed while watching The Asset approach the shack. It wasn’t mentioned in the files they found. There was something about enhancements and adjustments, but nothing specific. Nothing like this.

“It hurts.” Steve repeats, because Tony is just staring at the arm. “Can you help?”

“Oh.” Tony tears his gaze away and starts moving quickly. “Let me see what… J., I’m gonna need some scans, what have we got? There… And the entire body… Come over here Buckaroo, let me have a look at you…”

Bucky hesitates for a moment, looking at Steve who nods, before going over to Tony.

“You are okay with me touching you, right? Excellent. Up we go.” Tony says without waiting for an answer and starts examination the arm closer. It’s a work of art, really, but a brutal art. It’s heavy duty and made for function, not comfort. The weight alone must be enough to strain Bucky’s spine almost unto the breaking point. ‘Hurt’ might be an understatement.

“And what do we want me to do? Remove it? Fix it? Make a new one?” Tony asks, bending the fingers one by one.

“Not removed…” Bucky says after a moment’s silence. “But… Fix it, maybe? So it hurts less?” He makes it sound like he is making an outrageous demand. Tony also notices that he didn’t ask for no pain, just less pain.

“I can do that. Maybe make it a bit lighter too? I know you have big, broad shoulders, but they don’t need to lug around more than they have to, right?” Tony looks up at Bucky to find a furrow in his brow. He seems to be going through something in his head that takes a little longer than Tony normally would wait for an answer, but Steve motions him to be patient. Then Bucky nods. “Lighter would be… Nice…”

**

Tony keeps working long after Steve and Bucky have left. STRIKE did some amazing work with the arm, but Tony needs to be better. He needs to make it work just as well without hurting Bucky or straining his spine. STRIKE doesn’t seem to have cared about that.

He made a few adjustments before they left, tweaking the connection to the arm so it would be more comfortable. It’s not completely pain free yet, but he will get there.

It’s probably dark out, but there are no windows in the workshop and Tony hasn’t looked at anything with a clock since they left.

He is so absorbed in his work that he doesn’t notice another person in the workshop until strong arms wrap around him and scarred hands caress his skin.

“How long have you been working this time?” The voice is soft and deep, instantly making Tony feel safe.

“Dunno… I’m making something important…” Tony says, leaning into the steady warmth behind him.

“You always are, my love.” Stephen says, kissing Tony’s neck. “But I still think it can wait, now that I’m back… So why don’t we go back to our apartment? I’ll make you forget all about work…”

Tony hums and closes his eyes. _Our apartment_ sounds so nice when Stephen says it. He doesn’t really live in the tower, but he is there most days when he isn’t away on magical business. A lot of his things have ended there too, but Tony has no complaints. The more time he gets with Stephen the better.

Tony wasn’t tired while he was working, but now that his body has started to relax, he is beginning to feel it. Being in Stephen’s arms seems like the best option right now.

“Come…” Stephen moves slowly and Tony only pauses briefly to save his work and have JARVIS close the workspace down before he follows Stephen through a portal into their bedroom. Once in the bedroom, Stephen removes his jacket. He is actually wearing somewhat normal clothes today, so he must have changed before coming back.

“Did… Did you have a nice trip?” Tony asks. He is trying really hard to be more interested in what Stephen does when he isn’t in the tower, Pepper is even helping him prepare questions, so he doesn’t forget. Even if Pepper still doesn’t know about anyone being Otherkind (Tony is still debating telling her and Rhodey), she knows about his relationship with Stephen.

“I did…” Stephen walks up to Tony, sliding his hands under the engineer’s shirt. “I’ll tell you about it later… For now, just relax…”

Tony’s eyes flutter shut and he stops trying to focus on anything but Stephen’s warm hands and the wonderful feeling when Stephen deactivates their masking signs.

“Come…” Stephen says again and leads Tony to the bed before pulling his shirt off. The mage gently pushes Tony down until he is on his stomach on the bed.

“Do you have plans for me?” Tony asks with a smile as he pillows his head on his arms. The bed bends next to him as Stephen sits down. “Yes. But not the ones you want.”

Stephen’s hand skims over Tony’s skin, making him shiver.

“What th- Ooh…” Tony moans, his eyes closing again, as Stephen starts rubbing his back, finding all the muscles that are sore and tired from working. Tony would have opted for sex, but he quickly realizes that he would have fallen asleep before getting his pants off. Stephen seems to have an uncanny knack for knowing what Tony needs even if Tony himself doesn’t.

Tony is fast asleep before he even hears Stephen’s answer.

**

Sleeping with Stephen is so much better than sleeping alone. Tony wakes up slowly, feeling safe and relaxed, tangled in the mage as close as possible. Stephen’s slow breathing is tickling his ear, still sleeping. Tony can feel him dreaming faintly.

There is still much work to be done on Bucky’s arm, Tony knows. He needs to go work on it soon. But Stephen feels so good against him, like warmth and safety and love. Tony had no idea how good it could feel to be loved until Stephen showed him and Tony will keep thanking him in new and imaginative ways as long as the mage will let him.

Very carefully, because he knows from experience that Stephen, unlike Tony, is a light sleeper, Tony untangles from his lover and crawls down the foot of the bed. Under the covers, he lightly brushes his fingertips over the inside of Stephen’s thigh, making the other man move a little, but not wake. Tony lets kisses follow his fingers as he slowly moves higher.

It’s lucky that Stephen prefers to sleep in boxers and a t-shirt when he is in the tower. Tony slowly runs a hand over the material, enjoying the warmth of it, before mouthing softly over the fabric. Stephen makes a soft sound and moves a little, but doesn’t wake up.

Tony knows when to move and when to wait, so gradually he removes the boxers enough to pull Stephen’s cock out. It’s not fully hard yet (Tony’s is), but it’s halfway there and Tony knows how to reach his goal. He starts licking along the length, no longer worried that it will wake Stephen. It is, after all, more fun when they both are aware of what is happening.

“Tony?” The voice is sleep soft, making Tony smile, but with his mouth now full, he can’t answer with more than a hum. Then there is a hand in his hair, pulling a little too much to be called gentle and the hum turns into a groan.

He never really knows if it’s the sharing or of Stephen is using magic to cheat, but Tony is often pretty sure he feels this as much as Stephen does, even if no one is touching him. There is no need. When Stephen starts gasping, pulling a little harder in his hair, Tony’s hips are grinding into the bed of their own accord.

They come together, hard and sweet, and Stephen pulls Tony up so they can share a kiss afterwards.

“Thank you, my heart…” Stephen says between kisses. “You’re up early…”

“Mmm… I have to go back to the workshop…” Tony snuggles closer, not wanting to leave. “I have to make an arm for Bucky…”

“Does he need an arm?”

“Mmh… STRIKE made him one, but it hurts… I promised to fix it…”

“You are a good man.” Stephen says, holding Tony a little tighter. Tony doesn’t answer, he just hides his face in Stephen’s neck. He knows Stephen thinks of him as good, that he never would lie, but Tony still has trouble sometimes with believing it. He did a lot of bad things.

Stephen shares again, letting Tony feel the same as he does, the firm knowledge that Tony is a wonderful person, who deserves to be loved. Tony melts into it, closing his eyes to absorb as much as possible and relish in the fact that Stephen is back with him.

After a solid breakfast and having made a promise to take regular breaks, Tony leaves for the workshop and Stephen returns to the Sanctum. Tony spends most of the day working on the arm, trying to work out how to make it better.

**

Even before they suspected that they might have to hide an infamous assassin and Otherkind Hunter from the world, Tony and Steve had made sure all the private floors had enough masking signs to keep their team safe. And before that, Tony had made sure that the tower had the best security money could buy and that he could make himself. This was his home and it needed to be a safe space, even if he had been hiding before meeting Stephen. Since Stephen became a more permanent part of Tony’s life, magic was added to the security of the tower, spells and enchantments weaving together with technology to make sure that no one would ever know that the tower was home to more Otherkind than any other place.

Now, more than ever, that security is important. Private elevators, JARVIS and magic spells help makes sure no one comes by on accident and catches a glimpse of Bucky. He, like the rest of the team, has found a safe place, a home, within the tower and Tony will do everything in his power to keep it that way.

**

When the door to the workshop opens again, Tony is still working, but he did take a break an hour ago and had a sandwich for lunch, like he promised (JARVIS had to remind him, but still).

“Closing time love.” Stephen says as he walks over to Tony and leans on the table. “Date night.”

“Is it now?” Tony says, but he does save his work and close the workspace down. Stephen knows that he reluctantly loves date night, even if he often rants about how stupid it is to spend so much time eating and staring into each other’s eyes.

“I’ve gotten Italian… And the tiramisu you love…” Stephen smiles because he knows he won. Tony gives him a kiss and follows him back to their apartment. The arm will wait for another day.

**

In fact, it does take several other days, but finally, Tony has made an arm that he likes and that he is confident will not hurt Bucky. Changing it means enlisting Bruce to assist, and even if he keeps insisting he is not that kind of doctor, he is an invaluable help.

Steve almost cries when Bucky moves the new arm and confirms that the pain is completely gone and it’s all the thanks Tony needs, even if it’s not all the thanks he gets. It seems physically impossible for Steve to be anything but grateful for a very long time and even if Bucky’s thanks are a little more subdued, they are no less heartfelt.


	19. Bucky and Sam

Bucky is still a hunter. But now, he picks his prey. Steve claims he doesn’t need to, doesn’t have anything to make up for. Some nights, Bucky believes him. Not tonight. Tonight, he needs to make penance. Tonight he hunts.

**

It’s been a few months since Steve found him and brought him to the tower, where he is still hiding. STRIKE must be looking for him, but so far, they haven’t informed anyone that he is missing. Phil claims it makes sense. Bucky was their best asset, their prized Hunter, feared by everyone, Other- and humankind alike. Admitting that he is missing, lost or defeated, would be a serious blow to their ability to scare the public into submission.

Only The Avengers and Phil know about him. He can’t really go outside, has to hide in the tower, has to keep quiet and be a shadow so no one sees him.

Bucky doesn’t care. He gets to stay with Steve. And for a very long time, going anywhere but Steve’s apartment seemed an impossible task. Having his mind back, getting to make decisions for himself still gets too much sometimes and he needs someplace safe when that happens. When the world becomes too overwhelming. Steve is safe and Steve stays with him as much as possible. Of course, he had to return to work so no one would suspect him of anything. When he is gone, Bucky works on getting a hang on what has happened since he fell. Sometimes that gets too overwhelming too, making him hide in the smallest space he can find until JARVIS finds someone to come talk to him. It’s mostly Tony, because he works in the tower, and that’s good. Tony gave him a new arm, an arm that doesn’t hurt at all. Bucky trusts Tony.

Other times, like tonight, he needs to do something. He needs to get out of the tower. He is allowed, of course. Steve would never do anything to keep him there, but he knows that Steve worries every time he leaves, so he never stays away longer than he has to.

But he has to hunt. Tonight, more than anything, he has to hunt.

That is why he finds himself in a shady part of town, watching the streets from a dark corner. He is good at hiding. They thought him everything he needed to know to become invisible and he can still use that. It’s better, actually, knowing that he is using what they gave him for his own hunt.

He waits for a long time. Sometimes he doesn’t find anyone to hunt, but being out, looking for them, it still helps. Tonight, he finds someone.

**

She doesn’t scream. She just runs, as fast and as quietly as possibly. Her dress is ripped at the shoulder and her makeup is running because of her tears. Her feet are bare, she must have lost her shoes somewhere.

Three men are following her. They are not quiet. Bucky can hear them long before he sees them. They corner her in an ally, laughing and jostling each other.

“There you are. Nowhere to run now, is there freak? You know, you are not supposed to be out among people.” The largest of the men says. The girl whimpers and presses herself against the wall. “Please… Please, I didn’t do anything… Please…”

“Everybody knows your kind doesn’t have to do anything.” Another of the men says. He is a little smaller, but seems no less like a Neanderthal. “Just existing is enough.”

The girl whimpers as the largest man steps forwards and grabs her arm hard enough to bruise.

“We should get a fucking medal for this.” He says as he pulls her forwards and she stumbles to the ground, still fearfully begging for her life. It seems oddly monotones by now, a continuous stream of words that have no effect on her attackers.

They have an effect on someone else.

“Let her go.” It’s more of a growl than words, but it gets the message across. Then men stop moving and turn back towards him.

“What’s this? A hero?” Neanderthal sneers and looks Bucky up and down. “Or some kind of freak-lover? Maybe even a freak himself.”

“Just go, man.” The last one, smaller than the others and maybe a little more intelligent. But not much, since he is still part of the assault.

“Let her go.” Bucky repeats, walking into the alley and blocking their exit.

“I think we need to teach the hero here some manners.” The large man says and lets go of the girl before turning towards Bucky. His friends turn as well and step closer. They aren’t afraid that the girl will run away. Bucky is standing in the only exit and she is too scared to move.

The men clearly want a fight. They have no intentions of leaving the girl alone.

So tonight, the hunter has prey.

Bucky moves soundlessly before any of the men have a chance to react, ducking under the rather obvious swing from the largest man and repays him with a metal arm to the gut. He crumbles, gasping for breath, and Bucky sidesteps to the next, the Neanderthal. He blocks a clumsy punch with his right arm and slaps his left hand into the man’s face with enough force to knock him out. He knows exactly how much force it takes, knows the arm and how it works, even with the adjustments Tony made. His arm is a weapon and he needs to know exactly how to use it as to not bring anybody in unnecessary danger.

He may be a hunter, but he is not a killer. Not anymore.

One down, but the others show no sign of stopping. The first man has recovered enough to attack again and the smallest man seems to think helping is his best choice. They rush him at the same time, trying to corner him against the wall. It might work on a normal man. Bucky is far from normal.

Avoiding their drunken attempts at hitting him, Bucky crouches down, kicks the smaller mans knee and punches the large man in the stomach with his metal arm again. While the smaller man falls to the ground, Bucky grabs the large man and slams his face into the wall behind him, effectively knocking him out as well.

The last man is on the ground, gasping in fear and crawling backwards, away from Bucky.

“No… No, please… We didn’t… I didn’t…” He gasps, looking up at Bucky, who is looming over him.

“Neither did she.” Bucky growls and pounces the man, who shrieks and covers his face. Bucky’s left hand slams into the ground next to him and Bucky is peached right above the man. “Leave. And don’t _ever_ think you have any right to hurt somebody.”

With a terrified whimper, the man scampers around and limps away as fast as possible, leaving his friends in the dark alley.

She is still quiet, even with the sobbing. Huddled in a corner, trying to hide behind a dumpster and making herself as small as possible. It might work, if she didn’t radiate the feeling of Otherkind. The men must have broken whatever she used to mask herself. Bucky walks over to her, making sound as he moves so he doesn’t scare her.

She still looks terrified when she sees him.

“You’re safe…” He says quietly, kneeling in front of her. “Did they hurt you?”

Her eyes are still wide, but she shakes her head.

“Here…” He hands her a bracelet. It’s just a bit of black plastic that snaps tight around her wrist, but there is a masking sign on the inside to hide her again. She looks surprised for a moment, but then puts it on and hides herself again.

“You have to leave now. Someone will have seen you. You need to get away before the IOKC gets involved.” He doesn’t want to tell her this, doesn’t want to uproot her life like that, but he has to. If anyone saw, if any of the men say something, she will be in danger. She needs to get away before anything else happens.

He helps her to her feet and follows her home, because she seems too scared to go alone. When she looks at him now, it’s not fear in her eyes, but surprise. Outside of her door, she stops.

“Who are you?”

“Just someone trying to keep our kind safe.”

**

Steve is there when he gets back home. _Home_. The tower is home now, Steve is home and home is safe. It’s still new for Bucky, to feel so safe, but he does. It’s wonderful.

Steve helps him remove the dark outfit. It’s not the tac suit STRIKE gave him, he’ll never wear that again if he gets a choice. It’s new, something Tony made. Bullet resistant and sleek, it’s much easier to move in that what he is used to. He likes it.

When the suit is gone, Steve brings him pajamas, Bucky’s own, Tony bought them for him along with many other things when he moved in, and helps him dress. He doesn’t really need that, not like he did when he first came to Steve, but he likes the way Steve’s hands linger on him, the way he will kiss any exposed skin before covering it in soft fabric. He likes being close to Steve.

After, they curl up on the couch together. Not because he is afraid or shaken by the experience. Not because he needs the comfort or reassurance, but because he wants it. Because he likes it and Steve likes it and they are safe to do so.

Because they are home and home is safe.

**

Bucky doesn’t tell Steve about what happened at the Institute. It’s not that he doesn’t remember. Some parts are fuzzy and unclear, but he has started remembering much of it. He still doesn’t tell Steve. He is scared. Scare of what Steve might think of Bucky when he learns the truth, when he finds out what they did, when he understands that Bucky isn’t Otherkind anymore. He is scared of losing Steve.

Steve never asks. When Bucky wakes up at night screaming, Steve just holds him and promises to love him and keep him safe. Steve is the best thing that ever happened to Bucky and he will never risk losing that.

**

The next time he hunts, it’s in the outskirts of the city, near a large park. A young couple is walking together down one of the more secluded paths when two men stop them. Someone they know, by the sound of it. They call each other by name. It seems they work with the young man and have notices something odd about him. The girl seems scared, but not surprised, proving that she knew already. They plead and try to explain, but their assailants don’t listen.

Bucky does.

The men work at an office. They are easy to take out. Nothing broken, no lasting damaged, but they will be out long enough for the couple to get away.

They are grateful, thanking him and crying for longer than is actually safe in the semi-open space of the park, but Bucky lets them. Sometimes they need it and he knows better than to deny them this.

He sends them away when he hears someone else approaching, not wanting to put them in any more danger than they already are.

The couple is out of sight when a man steps onto the path in front of Bucky, who is intentionally standing in the middle of the road, seizing the attention of anyone who approaches. Hopefully, it will give the young couple a few more seconds to get away.

The man doesn’t seem interested in the couple. He stops and looks at Bucky with attentive, dark eyes.

“I’ve heard about you.” He says. His skin is as dark as his eyes and he has a neat goatee. “They call you The Ghost. They say you were a Hunter who broke his collar. The only one to ever do that. Is it true?”

“I’m still a hunter.” Bucky says.

“But you aren’t their Hunter anymore.” The man says, smiling. “You hunt them now. You protect Otherkind.”

“Who are you? What do you want?” Bucky asks. Never give anything away to the enemy, always try to get more information.

“I’m the one they run to after you save them. I hide them and help them escape, start new lives far away.” The man says calmly.

“Easy for you to claim.” Bucky says, keeping his attention on the man. It might be true, but it might be a trap. They want him back, he is sure of it. This might be a trick to get him back.

“I know. I want to prove it to you. I want to help you and I want you to help me.” The man says. He seems calm enough still, even standing in front of Bucky, who is much bigger and stronger. He doesn’t seem afraid. Outside of the tower, that’s new.

“Here is my offer. You take me somewhere you deem safe, anywhere, and I’ll prove to you that you can trust me. I’ll take my masker off.” His voice is low, careful, but loud enough that Bucky has no doubt what he is saying. It seems like a trick. It seems too good to be true. But someone has to help the ones who get away and there have been rumors, Steve told him. So maybe…

But where would he deem safe?

Anywhere Steve is. But no, he can’t to that. If this really is a trick, he can’t bring the stranger and everything that might come with him to Steve. He needs to hide Steve for as long as possible, keep Steve safe. Somewhere else then.

The good thing about searching the city from the shadows is that you learn a lot about its nooks and crannies. About the secret places.

“Come.” He says, before turning to move. He listens closely, but doesn’t look to see if the man follows. The man wants this, he will come.

They walk a little in silence. Bucky is thinking about what to do and the man is thinking about… Something else. Maybe Bucky? Whatever it is, he seems to think Bucky can be trusted with his name, for the next thing he says is…

“I’m Sam.”

Bucky grunts. Never divulge information to the enemy.

“Do you have a name?”

Bucky has many names. The one they gave him. The one they took from him. The one Steve gave him long ago and gave back to him when they were reunited. Many names from a live longer than it should have been. He doesn’t tell the man that.

“Yes.”

“Can I hear it? I would like to have something to call you.” Sam perseveres. He seems genuinely interested, kind and friendly. Bucky doesn’t trust him.

“No. You can call me Hunter.” Bucky says, not looking at Sam.

“Fine. Hunter.” Sam is smiling. Even if Bucky isn’t looking at him, he can hear it in his voice. Why is he so happy? It’s obviously a fake name, meant to reveal nothing about Bucky that an enemy might use, but Sam doesn’t seem to mind.

Bucky leads Sam into an old industrial area, filled with ruins of empty houses. There used to be a lot of factories here, but most of it has since been moved overseas, to someplace where the rules are laxer and production is cheaper. Now it’s neglected and decrepit. Perfect for clandestine meetings between strangers.

“What a lovely place you’ve found for us.” Sam says as they move between the old buildings. Bucky doesn’t answer. He just leads Sam into the center of the area, as far from everyone and everything else as possible. Whatever happens next, no one else will be caught in the crossfire.

They enter one of the buildings, an old plant that used to produce car parts. It’s almost empty inside, most of it gutted a long time ago, but there are places to hide and several ways to get out quickly if needed. Everything that’s left is concrete and steel.

“Here.” Bucky says, as he stops in the middle of the room, turning towards Sam. This is as good a place as any. No matter what Sam wants, Steve is safe.

“Good place. We’re what, half a mile from anybody?” Sam asks, looking around the huge room.

“Mile and a half,” Bucky says, keeping a sharp eye on Sam. The man seems calm, unworried. Nothing about him suggests that the situation is in any way strange or dangerous. He is acting like they are two friends on an adventure. It reminds Bucky a little of Steve, of how they used to be a long time ago.

“Well, that should be more than enough for us to talk.” Sam smiles and walks over to Bucky.

“So talk.” Bucky is getting impatient. He has been out for a while by now and Steve is most likely getting nervous. Bucky doesn’t like to make Steve nervous.

“It’s easier if I just show you.” Sam says, removing a ring from his finger. It’s muted because of his own masking, a bracelet Steve gave him, made of cloth and hidden on his upper right arm, but Bucky still feels the unmistakable sense of Otherkind that comes from Sam.

He doesn’t understand why. Sam doesn’t know him, can’t be sure that Bucky won’t expose him to the IOKC or just anyone nearby. Revealing a secret like that isn’t safe. Why would Sam do something like that?

“I can see you don’t understand. But I told the truth before. I am the one who helps them hide, who get them away from here after you safe them.” Sam says slowly, like he wants Bucky to hear every word clearly. “I’ve hear about you, looked for you for a long time. We can help each other…”


	20. Steve and Sam

Steve likes Sam immediately. Of course, it takes a while before Steve meets Sam. Bucky is protective and for a long time, he will only meet with Sam in the abandoned factory, never telling him more than he absolutely has to. Sam is patient and trusts Bucky far more than Bucky trusts him, doing everything Bucky demands of him, no matter how paranoid or strange it seems.

Whenever Bucky gets back, he will tell Steve everything and Steve will discuss it with him and the Avengers. They make plans together, debating whether or not Sam is trustworthy and if they can risk meeting him. Tony gets his name and searches the Internet, legal and illegal, for any information on the man. What turns up is a well-liked, respected war veteran who has been working to help other vets since he came home and seem to have no dark secrets.

Of course, it doesn’t stop Bucky from being worried.

So when Steve finally meet Sam, it’s far outside the city, in the shack where they lured Bucky, in a mask with no insignia and the rest of his team on stand-by, hidden by the foliage. Clint is just outside, waiting on word from Steve. His skills will help determine if Sam can be trusted. Both Stephen’s spell and Tony’s EMP are ready. They fixed the wall Tony broke, so the shack again has four functioning walls. Bucky is at Steve’s side, never having asked the plan, always just assuming he would be right next to Steve where he belongs.

Sam arrives as Bucky’s told Steve he always does, with a smile and a lot of patience, letting Bucky frisk him thoroughly in search of hidden weapons or wires. He never finds anything, but that doesn’t make him any less meticulous. Steve allows it because he knows it’s to keep him safe and it makes Bucky feel better about letting Sam meet Steve.

Meanwhile, Tony sets off the EMP, ensuring that Sam doesn’t have any working electronics on him. Bucky’s arm has been specially secured so it won’t be affected. Bucky was adamant about that, so Tony made sure he would have both arms if he needed to defend Steve.

“So, Hunter brought a friend today…” Sam says with a friendly smile when he spots Steve in the shadows behind Bucky. Bucky told Steve about the name, about hiding as much as possible from ‘the enemy’, even if he might turn out to be an ally later.

“He did.” Steve says calmly. “It’s time we meet.”

“Does this mean you trust me?” Sam asks Bucky, who walks back over to Steve.

“No.”

The answer doesn’t seem to dissuade Sam, who turns towards Steve instead. “And what can I call you?”

“For now, Nomad.” Steve says. The name has no basis in anything really, and is meant to keep Sam off their tracks, should he prove to be affiliated in any way with the IOKC. Tony ran a word generator with JARVIS and Nomad was one of the more sober ones. Steve liked it, so they picked it.

“More secret names. How much longer before you trust me?” Sam asks. He doesn’t seem discouraged by it, just curious. Steve can’t stop himself from smiling.

Talking to Sam is easy and Steve finds himself hoping that he won’t turn out to be a double agent. He really wants Sam to be part of their team.

Sooner than he planned, Steve gives the signal for Clint to join. Even if Bucky doesn’t smile, Steve knows him well enough to see how much he enjoys the way Sam jumps when Clint enters gracefully through a window. It’s very unnecessary, since the spell is hiding the door from everyone inside the house, but the point is to shake Sam and see how he reacts and Clint does that well. He is holding his bow when he enters, not threatening exactly, but very visible.

Sam, to his credit, doesn’t react much after the initial shock. He does eye the bow, but returns his focus to Steve when he starts talking. Steve might be a little impressed.

Of course, he doesn’t say that. Not at the time.

**

They meet with Sam several times after that, in a few different locations. Bucky is always very meticulous with the meetings, making sure they are as safe as possible for Steve. Steve never complaints, even if he is starting to trust Sam more and more. So far, there has been nothing to make them think he is lying, but he knows that Bucky needs to keep up the secrecy, needs to do everything in his power to keep Steve safe. Steve understands, even if Bucky still can’t share what he feels unless Steve invites him in.

He knows that Bucky is trying to make up for all the years he wasn’t able to protect Steve.

**

There are still rumors about someone helping Otherkind, someone who hunts the people that hurt them and someone who hides them when they have been hurt. Steve knows Bucky is the one who hunts and they are mostly sure that Sam is the one who hides them afterwards.

Steve knows Bucky still needs to go out sometimes and protect their kind in an attempt to redeem himself. Steve doesn’t try to convince him there is nothing to atone for anymore. He told him that often in the first days, but Bucky let him know, in no uncertain way, that he _needs_ this. And Steve could never deny Bucky anything.

So Bucky hunts and Steve waits in their apartment, sure that this time will be the one where Bucky doesn’t come back, that STRIKE will find him or he will decide to leave on his own.

But he always comes back. And when he does, Steve pulls him in tight and holds him close as long as Bucky will allow. Often they end up tangled in bed together, dressed only in their naked skin and sharing more than body heat.

**

It’s Steve’s decision. Bucky isn’t happy about it, but Steve has the feeling he never will be. It’s to protect Steve, so he can’t really be mad about it. And Bucky accepts Steve’s decision, even if he disagrees with it.

**

The e-mail is sent from an official Stark Industries account in a very formal language. It details time and place for a meeting, explaining that there is an interest to make a monetary donation to veterans and they need a contact with first hand knowledge of the subject.

When Sam arrives, he is directed to one of the elevators that lead to the private floors in Stark Tower and left alone there. He finds his ways down the corridors without problems, because there is only light and open doors where they want him to go.

He enters the office to find Tony fucking Stark in suit and sunglasses waiting for him in a big, modern meeting room. Pausing in the door, Sam looks around a little unsure. “I… I had a meeting… I got this mail…”

“I know. I sent it. Come in.” Tony says, smiling in a way that makes him seem more hungry than friendly.

Sam closes the door, getting into the office. There is nothing on the table, no decorations and no plants in the room. Just the table and chairs. Another attempt to intimidate him. Steve didn’t really find in necessary, but Tony did and he is obviously having fun with it. Maybe a little too much.

“Sam Wilson…” Tony sits down at the table, folding his hands in front of him. “I know so much about you…”

“Oh-kay?” Sam looks confused and unsure. Far more than when he has had meetings with Hunter and Nomad. Steve and the others are watching for an adjacent room on the surveillance cameras. Steve has an arm around Bucky, both because it’s always wonderful to be close to Bucky, but also because physical contact like this calms him down.

Natasha and Clint are next to them, watching the screens like they are sorry they don’t have popcorn. Phil is the only one who seems completely composed.

“Oh yes…” Tony continues. “Samuel Thomas Wilson, former para-rescue in the 58th Rescue Squadron in the United States Air Force, now working to help veterans with post-traumatic stress disorder with the Department of Veterans Affairs. Busy man, hm?”

“I… Why are you telling me this?” Sam asks, now looking worried. Steve sighs, moving closer to the door. He is ready to interrupt if he has to.

“Because I want you to know that you have no secrets from me.” Tony says, taking the sunglasses off and meets Sam’s eyes. “I _know_ you. And I know the truth about you. You are Otherkind.”

Again, Steve is impressed by Sam’s ability to recover in less than a second. He just sends Tony a friendly smile, moving to get up from the chair. “I’m afraid you’ve got the wrong man…”

“Oh no. I know exactly who I’ve got in front of me.” Tony smiles, waving to the camera with a careless gesture. “Time for us to return the favor…”

Steve opens the door behind Sam just in time to hear the surprised veteran ask “Us?” Tony doesn’t even answer he just nods towards Steve. Sam turns quickly, eyes growing wide when he sees Steve, Bucky, Natasha, Clint and Phil enter the office.

“Hunter? And… Nomad?” A furrow of confusion appears on Sam’s brow. “But you… You’re Steve Rogers!”

“I am.” Steve smiles. “And I am sorry we had to keep secrets for you for so long, but someone” he glances to Bucky, who just folds his arms across his chest, “meant we needed to be careful until we knew more about you. But we are ready to trust you now.”

“And just know that of you betray that trust, we _will_ find you.” Natasha adds, idly playing with a rather large knife. Sam sends her a worried look, before Steve catches his attention again by taking the dog tags off, filling the room with the feeling of Otherkind.

“I should have guessed.” Sam says with a dry smile.

“Oh, he’s not the only one.” Clint says before taking the stud out. One by one, they reveal themselves, surrounding Sam with their presence. It will always be a risk to let someone else know, but Steve is confident that Sam is trustworthy. And if he isn’t, Stephen is still a secret they will keep for a little while longer.

“Oh damn…” Sam looks around for a moment, eyes still very wide. Then he takes off his watch, letting his presence mingle with theirs.

**

It takes a while for them to explain everything to Sam, but he is patient and clever, so it’s no hardship. Sam, in return, tells them about his work to aid revealed Otherkind, how he finds them and helps them start new lives where no one knows about them. Talking to him makes Steve realize that there are far more of them than they thought and that they need to do more. They need to find a way to make it safe to be Otherkind.


	21. Clint and Phil

Clint doesn’t really pay that much attention to the planning that follows after they explain everything to Sam. Steve talks a lot, but most of it is something Clint already knows, so he zones out a bit until Phil, who is sitting next to him, squeezes his knee and he quickly returns his focus to their team leader. For the next few hours, he does his best to listen.

It’s late when they finally break the meeting up and Clint can haul Phil back to their apartment by the hand.

“In a hurry, are we?” Phil asks when they stop to open the door.

“If we stay, Steve will find more to say and we’ll have to stay for another seven hours.” Clint answers, pulling Phil inside when he gets the door open and closes it behind them. Phil’s brow furrows a little. “What Steve was saying is important. We need to figure out how to help more of our kind. We – “

Clint learned a long time ago that the best way to shut Phil up is by kissing him, so he presses his body to the agent’s, pinning him to the door and meeting his lips with a desire that he knows Phil can’t ignore, especially since they are both still unmasked.

Phil makes a muffled sound and puts his hands on Clint’s hips as the archer kisses him until he is sure their conversation is completely forgotten. When he finally lets go, Phil is breathless and a little cross-eyed.

Clint’s smile is very smug as he nips at Phil’s jawline. “Why don’t we go into the bedroom and not talk?”

Still not focused enough to talk, Phil just nods and sighs happily when Clint kisses down his neck. The smile is still not gone when Clint pulls him towards their bedroom.

Touching Phil was always very close to the top of Clint’s favorite things to do, but now that they can take the maskers off, it’s so much better. Touching, kissing, everything feels better like this. They have improved their control of it, but to Clint’s immense enjoyment, it didn’t lessen the pleasure at all. It just made it possible for them to lengthen the experience.

Phil is on his back on the bed before either of them knows it is happening, chest bare and breath coming fast. His eyes are focused on Clint, who is straddling him, pulling off his own shirt.

“God, you look so good…” Phil breathes, hands skimming over the skin on Clint’s sides and chest. “I love when you get naked for me…”

“You like watching this?” Clint smiles and slows down when he pulls the shirt over his head. When he feels the clear agreement from Phil, he gets up slowly. Years in the circus have given him excellent balance and he manages to stand in the bed with one leg on either side of Phil, who is looking at him with rapt attention.

Slowly, elegantly, he takes the rest of his clothes off. He even manages to stand one-legged on the bed without wobbling too bad and falling down on Phil, whose eyes are still glued to Clint, watching his every move.

“You are so fucking gorgeous.” Phil says, hands on Clint’s ankles and legs. “Come down again so I can touch you more.”

Not needing to be told twice, Clint falls to his knees and bends down to kiss Phil, grinding down against him just to swallow the sound he makes.

He would never tire of this, but the rub of Phil’s pants and especially his zipper is not only pleasant, so after a while Clint starts moving his kisses down Phil’s neck, chest and stomach. His hands follow, caressing all the skin he can reach until he can finally get to that zipper and undo the pants with his teeth. Pulling them off isn’t as sexy as licking all over Phil’s chest, but when it’s done, being close to him feels so much better.

Clint kisses his way up again until he can capture Phil’s mouth and lie against his glorious naked body. Even with both of them having their hands above the waist, it’s still better sex than Clint ever had before he met Phil. It’s amazing, but it’s not enough. Not when he knows there more.

“I want to ride you…” Clint gasps, biting Phil’s shoulder hard enough to leave a mark. It won’t be visible under the suit, but Clint will know it’s there.

“Show me.” Phil whispers and Clint feels his entire body twitch. There isn’t much that would make him let go of Phil in this situation, but that exact sentence will. He scrambles back, hurrying to find the lube in the bedside table and get in position in front of Phil.

Phil puts a hand on his ankle, the only point of contact between them, but enough for them to share. Clint covers his hand in lube and starts to slowly work himself open with a finger. Phil’s hand grabs a little tighter around Clint’s ankle, his eyes wide and completely dark with lust. “Slowly… Let me see you…”

Clint moans faintly, not meaning to make a sound, but he can’t help it with Phil looking at him like that. He’s not even touching himself, despite his very obvious erection, just watching every move Clint makes. It’s heady, intoxicating, to be the sole center of his attention like that. Clint isn’t a stranger to the limelight, but this is so much more intimate. There is love in Phil’s eyes, in his every move, in the sharing that Clint can feel from his steady touch.

“I… I want…” Clint gasps and Phil squeezes his ankle. “Patience love.”

And he tries; he really tries to be patient. He knows it will hurt if he doesn’t and that Phil would never forgive himself if he did anything to cause Clint pain. It’s just hard when his fingers are nowhere near enough, when he can’t get the right angle himself, when he isn’t even touching Phil anymore.

Clint is moaning and shaking when Phil finally tugs at his ankle, making the archer hurry back in his lap. The kiss is uncoordinated, all tongue and teeth and burning desire, but it feels so good.

Sitting on his knees while Phil slicks himself up, Clint can hardly wait until Phil lets him sit down again, because this? This is everything. As close as humanly possible, the sharing creates a continuous feedback loop of want-love-pleasure-yes-more. Clint thinks he could come just from this he wanted to.

“So beautiful… So perfect… Just for me…” Phil mumbles, letting his hands explore Clint’s chest slowly. Each caress is deliberate, loving and gentle, treating Clint like he is something to be treasured. Even after all these years, Clint is still not completely used to it.

With a smile, Clint starts moving slowly, using his thighs to hold his weight. Phil makes excellent sounds whenever they have sex and sometimes, Clint just wants to listen to him. Riding him, however, is good too.

It doesn’t take long. It never does, not with Phil, who knew every inch of him even before they started sharing. Phil, who can make him moan and beg and scream so easily. Phil, who loves him so strongly and unwavering that Clint wouldn’t believe it if he couldn’t actually feel it.

Because of the sharing, they rarely come alone these days (unless they have plans and Phil is very good with plans), so as soon as Clint feel himself tipping over, he grabs on to Phil and pulls him over the edge. Together, they fall into a space that is just theirs, filled with pleasure, bliss and love.

**

Clint falls asleep. He only knows this because he wakes up later, head pillowed on Phil’s chest, clean and comfortable. Phil is snoring softly beneath him, both arms wrapped around his archer.

With a smile, Clint closes his eyes and goes back to sleep. It’s the last peaceful sleep he will have for a long time.


	22. Phil and AIM

The call to assemble comes just after breakfast. Clint is hardly awake yet, hanging over his coffee, forgetting the plate of eggs and bacon in front of him. Phil considers poking him to wake him up, but there is something so wonderfully soft and adorable about Clint like this, sleepy and pliant, head resting in his hand and eyes half open. He is only wearing soft pants and his hair is still mussed from last night. Clint is always beautiful, but on quiet mornings like this, there is something special and vulnerable about him. Knowing Clint’s history, Phil is very aware of how much it means that Clint trusts him like this. It makes his heart swell with love.

He feels it before the alarm goes off. It stronger than usually, the feeling that something is completely wrong and he _needs to do something now!_ But for once, he has no idea what.

“Phil?” Even as sleepy as Clint is, he notices when Phil pauses and gets halfway off his chair when the alarm sounds.

“We… We have to go…” Phil blinks a few times and follows Clint to their bedroom to change quickly. He still feels wrong, but dismisses it as them needing to handle the threat as soon as possible.

**

They arrive to the jet at the same time as Steve and Natasha, both dressed in uniforms. Tony is there a second later, the suit glowing softly around him. Bruce is standing in the door, awaiting instructions. They don’t always bring him, he prefers not to be involved in too much conflict, but sometimes they need a heavy hitter.

“Seems like we are going to need everyone today.” Steve says, a little apologetic, and Bruce joins the others for the briefing on the jet. The only one not going is Bucky, who is still a secret. He waves at them when they leave with a resigned expression. He still doesn’t like being alone, especially when he knows Steve is somewhere dangerous.

On the way, Steve explains what is going on. AIM seem to have gotten the idea that if they just keep trying, they will eventually succeed in taking over the world. Not a very advanced idea really. But bad idea or not, they are still a threat that needs to be dealt with.

This time, the threat is several huge robots surrounding Manhattan, while the leader of AIM is monologuing about sending the entire area into a pocket dimension unless the government surrenders and give them control of New York.

Tony and Bruce have a lot of questions and comments to the briefing, but Phil is mostly silent for once. He still has the feeling that something is really wrong, so he doesn’t expect the mission to be easy in any way. Clint seems worried about him, but other than squeezing Phil’s hand when no one is looking, he doesn’t let the others know. They don’t really have time for that now.

Phil takes a deep breath. Everybody on the team is a specialist at what they do and they work together almost flawlessly. They will be fine. It will be better when the fighting starts.

**

It does not get better when the fighting starts.

It’s not even that the battle is going poorly. Tony and Bruce came up with some solutions to prevent AIM from creating a pocket dimension and others for taking out the robots all at once. Tony is still working on it, talking to JARVIS about how to execute it while Iron Man fights the robots and AIM soldiers. Bruce isn’t helping with that part anymore, but the Hulk is doing his to take down the robots one by one.

Hawkeye has of course found a perch on a rooftop, taking down as many hostile soldiers as he can with non-lethal arrows and letting the others know what is happening. Agent Coulson and Black Widow are on the ground, working their way towards what seems to be the control center for whatever machinery AIM plans to use. They get help from S.H.I.E.L.D. and STRIKE, all under the competent command of Captain America.

All in all, it’s a sound plan. With so many agents on the ground, AIM can’t keep them from advancing. Most of the civilians have wisely chosen to stay inside, meaning that the fighting in the streets is mostly confined to S.H.I.E.L.D. agents and AIM soldiers. Even fighting alongside Rumlow and STRIKE is okay when it’s like this.

Agent Coulson shoots another soldier before ducking in behind a parked car when his friends return the fire. A lot of what they are doing is stalling, he knows, while they wait for Iron Man to make the definitive move, but still, Agent Coulson is enjoying himself. It’s a good fight. He’s all but forgotten the feeling from before.

**

The fighting goes on for a long time. Hawkeye’s long since run out of arrows and is fighting on the ground next to Black Widow. Agent Coulson has no idea where Captain America is, but he can hear the Hulk roaring somewhere nearby. Agents Rumlow and Sitwell are next to Agent Coulson, shooting their way down the street. They can see the control center from here. They have been slowly moving closer to it since they arrived, but there are a lot of enemies in the way.

Sometimes, Agent Coulson will catch a glimpse of the other Avengers, fighting on the streets, taking the robots down and incapacitating the soldiers. Captain America is everywhere in the battle, leading them to where they will do the most damaged and keeping them away from areas where they will be overrun. With Hawkeye on the ground, Iron Man has taken over as their eyes in the sky.

“This is going to take all day.” Agent Sitwell complains, as they once again take cover behind a car.

“Do you have somewhere else to be?” Agent Coulson asks as he shoots a soldier before he can shoot Black Widow in the back.

“Somewhere warm with a drink in my hand.” Agent Sitwell grumbles. Agent Rumlow laughs and smiles at him. “Don’t be stupid. There’s nothing more fun than taking down a bunch of assholes who think they are something they’re not. Well, nothing but locking up Otherkind, that is.”

The comment makes Agent Sitwell laugh and return to the battle with renewed vigor. Agent Coulson manages a smile before turning back to the battle. Suddenly, he can’t wait for the battle to be over.

He rushes forwards, taking down two soldiers before they even know what hit them and barely avoiding being hit by a third. Somewhere behind him he hears a familiar voice cursing as the third is taken down. Hawkeye hates it when he is reckless. With good reason, really. In their line of business, recklessness gets you killed.

Sending a silent apology to his love, Agent Coulson dashes forward again and manage to get into the control center. Well, control center makes it sound like AIM erected a building in the middle of the street. What it actually is, is a gathering of equipment and several scientists in the middle of the street. Agent Coulson has no idea what any of the machines do, but they seem important.

The scientists seem surprised by his arrival and pause for a moment. A moment can also get you killed. But since Agent Coulson and S.H.I.E.L.D. are the good guys, it only gets them knocked out and captures. Agents Sitwell, Rumlow and Hawkeye join him quickly, taking the scientists and soldiers out.

“Iron Man.” Agent Coulson calls, when the area is cleared of AIM. “We’ve got the command center. Get down here.”

“You just say that ‘cause you miss me Agent.” Comes the reply. Agent Coulson rolls his eyes, but can’t completely hide his smile when Iron Man lands next to him and starts moving quickly amongst the machinery.

Letting Iron Man work, they set up a perimeter to keep AIM from trying to take back the area. While they work, Black Widow and Captain America join them, letting them know that most of the robots have been taken down and that S.H.I.E.L.D. is handling the AIM soldiers. So they just need to prevent the pocket dimension from swallowing the island of Manhattan. There is a worrying countdown on one of the screens and Iron Man is working frantically on stopping it.

It seems that AIM has realized that they are losing and have decided to make a last attempt to regain control of the pocket dimension. They surround the control center and send the last of their soldiers against it. Agent Coulson is very glad that Captain America showed up when he did, because his shield takes down a lot of soldiers every time it leaves his hand.

“How much longer Iron Man?” Captain America yells when he grabs the shield again as it ricochets back to his hand.

“Don’t get your star spangled panties in a bunch, I’m working with trans-dimensional technology here. It’s a little more complicated than a clock radio.” Iron Man retorts without stopping. He is doing a lot of things, even if Agent Coulson has no idea what any of them do. It doesn’t matter to him. His job is to keep the soldiers from getting too close and so far, they are succeeding.

There is a loud crash from down the road and one of the robots starts lumbering towards them.

“We’re running out of time.” Captain America says, eyeing the robot warily.

“Almost…” Iron Man flips another switch and hits more buttons and then the timer disappears. “There! Fuck it, I’m a genius.”

Captain America looks back at him. “Good. Then we just need to – “

“Watch out!” Agent Coulson slams into Captain America, making them both fall to the ground a split-second before the shot hits where the Captain just stood. So, this robot has a canon. Great.

Behind them, several of the machines get hit and burst into flame. Captain America is quickly on his feet again. “Iron Man, is…”

“No, yeah, we’re good. We’re good, it’s off.” Iron Man says after a quick look at the machines all around him. “It may blow, but it’s not gonna come back on again.”

“Good. Avengers, take that robot down!” Captain America orders and they move as one, letting the agents keep the rest of the AIM soldiers at bay.

The robot is a lot bigger than the suits that attacked S.H.I.E.LD. the day they became a team, but they are better now. They know each other’s strengths and weaknesses, how they fight and how to work together. Captain America knows what he can expect of each of them and he easily tells them where to go as they get close to the robot.

The robot is two stories tall and a lot squarer than what they are used to from Iron Man’s sleek, colorful suits. It’s clearly made for impact, not finesse. They already know how much power it has from the others they have taken down, but this one has a cannon that the others didn’t.

Iron Man takes to the sky at once, the only one of them who can get some height. Captain America and Black Widow move in close, targeting the joints in the legs in a hope to bring the behemoth down, while Agent Coulson and Hawkeye keep their distance and try to distract the robot with guns. They already know that gunshots have very little effect on the robots, but if they can make the enemy focus on them, the others will have a chance to bring it down.

It works, sort of. The robot does turn its attention towards Agent Coulson and Hawkeye, so they have to run from cover to cover to avoid the fire. Every time they hear the clang of Captain America’s shield of the zap of Iron Man’s repulsor rays, they come out of hiding, drawing the attention. They can’t pay attention to anything else, so Agent Coulson just hopes that the agents have got the AIM soldiers under control.

When the clangs and zaps start to sound different, more broken, they move closer. The robot is wavering, one of the legs unstable after a successful hit from the shield. Clint quickly grabs his bow and one of the few arrows he managed to scavenge from the battlefield. He sends it flying, directly into the weakened leg. It lodges firmly for a second before exploding. As most of the leg disappears, the robot topples over.

They swarm it quickly; hitting every weak spot they know of to take it out. It stops moving, but they all know better than to expect that to be the end of the battle. They all expect it to get back up and attack them. It’s good that they pay attention otherwise it might have been much worse.

As it is, Agent Coulson and Hawkeye spot it at the same time. The beeping that’s rapidly speeding up. Hawkeye reacts first, pushing Agent Coulson hard in the chest and making the agent fall of the robot the second before it explodes.

**

Darkness. Pain.

**

Wrong…

**

_Get up!_

**

There is a ringing in his ears and the world seems to be on its axis when Phil opens his eyes. Flecks of ash and dust are falling through the air. Someone is yelling close by, but it’s still hard to hear. It hurts to move and sitting up takes a lot more effort than it should.

Red, white and blue fills his vision and a hand grabs his shoulder. Blinking a few times Phil manages to focus on Steve’s face. His lips are moving, but it’s still hard to hear through the ringing in his ears.

There is a long moment of confusion before the world snaps back into place and Steve’s voice cuts through the ringing. “Phil? Phil, can you hear me? Focus on me. Phil!”

“I’m here, I’m…” Phil gets up. Something hurts, but he can’t spare the energy to figure out what now. There is something else. Something wrong.

Then he sees Natasha and the golden red Iron Man suit digging through the rubble and panic floods him as he remembers what happened. Before Steve can stop him, he runs to them and starts searching for the one person he cannot live without.

It’s the blood that leads them to Clint. There is so much of it, covering his face, running from his ears, his nose, his mouth. He doesn’t react when the start digging him free and only the wet rattle of his breathing informs them that they are not too late.

There are S.H.I.E.L.D. agents in the periphery of his vision, but Phil doesn’t pay them any mind. Not until they uncover all of Clint’s lifeless form and pull Phil away from him before he gets a chance to examine his injuries.

“What are you doing?” Phil yells before noticing that they aren’t S.H.I.E.L.D. agents at all. They are STRIKE.

“We are taking him to the Institute for Otherkind Control. He is Otherkind.” Rumlow says with an unpleasant smile, as Sitwell kneels by Clint and ties up his hands. Phil blinks in confusion. In the midst of fear and adrenaline, he didn’t notice. He is so used to the feeling of Otherkind from Clint that he didn’t remember they were somewhere unsafe. But he feels it now. The explosion tore up the side of Clint’s head, it must have damaged the piercing in his ear. He is unmasked.

“You… You can’t… He’s hurt! He needs a doctor, a hospital. Let me…” Phil tries again, but Rumlow holds him back. “He will get treated at the Center, but that is where he must go.”

“You can’t take him!” Phil shouts, feeling like the world is crumbling around him. This can’t be happening, not like this. He can’t lose Clint.

“Yes, I can. He is Otherkind.” Rumlow just says. He seems so calm, a complete opposite to Phil’s raging emotions.

“So am I!” Phil yells, even if everything in him is telling him it’s the wrong thing to do. It only gets louder when he yanks the watch off, but there is no way he is letting them take Clint away from him, no matter what. “Fuck, so am I. Take me too.”

Rumlow looks surprised, but only for a second. Then he quickly grabs Phil and forces his hands behind his back. Phil hardly cares, he only has eyes for Sitwell and the other STRIKE agents that have moved Clint onto a gurney. Phil is only vaguely aware that the other Avengers are moving closer, that Steve is calling his name, but they don’t matter. Not like Clint does. Still, he forces himself to look away from his love and meet Steve’s eyes. He tries, as hidden as possible, to shakes his head. They can’t help him now. They can’t save either of them. They have to stay hidden. The two of them getting taken in by the IOKC is more than enough.

The wrong feeling in his chest is still there, stronger than ever, but now he knows why.

There is no way back.


	23. Bucky and Steve

Waiting is always the worst part of it. Bucky knows that Steve can fight, that the serum made him stronger and faster and better than other people. He knows the team is good and skilled, that the Avengers rarely meet a threat they can’t conquer. But he still worries when he is alone in the tower, waiting for them to come back. What if this is the one they can’t conquer? What it, this time, they don’t come back?

He doesn’t hide in the closet this time. He has been doing that less frequently lately and he is working very hard to keep it that way, to convince himself that Steve’s apartment, _their_ apartment, is safe. That he doesn’t need to curl up in a small space to be safe.

It helps that JARVIS is there, talking to him when it gets too much. Steve made a list of things for Bucky to do when he gets overwhelmed and can’t make choices on his own and JARVIS helps him go through the list, finding something on it that he calculates will fit Bucky’s mood. Today, it’s reading. There are a lot of options when it comes to reading. He doesn’t use the internet, not on bad days, it becomes too much far too quickly, but Steve has many physical books that are just as interesting. JARVIS helped him find one of World War II. It’s odd, reading about something he lived through, but it’s nice to learn about what happened after. Then peace, the clean up, the world finding a new normal after all the horrors.

He takes breaks when JARVIS tells him to, to eat and rest and go to the bathroom. He is still not as good at reading his bodies signals as he should be, but he is getting better. In the beginning, he went to bed when Steve did, because it meant he could curl up in Steve’s arms and feel protected, but now he is actually starting to notice the signals that tell him he is tired. He still mostly goes to bed when Steve does, but sometimes he will ask if they can go to bed before Steve starts to seem tired. Steve never says no to him.

**

When JARVIS informs him that the jet is on the way back, Bucky hurries to meet the team. He is always happy when they come back, but as soon as the door opens and he sees them, that happiness disappears. Their faces tell him something is wrong even before he notices that Phil and Clint are missing.

“Steve?” Bucky asks, concerned. Steve holds himself stiffly, mouth drawn into a thin line. Bucky may not always remember everything, but he knows what Steve looks like when he is holding himself together for someone else, when he is being the leader they expect him to be. Bucky also knows that there is only one thing he can do for Steve right now and that is to give him space.

Bucky is a safe space, somewhere Steve doesn’t have to be the leader, somewhere he can relax. He will need that later, but as long as the others are there, Steve will not allow himself to have it. So Bucky stays back, letting Steve talk to his team, tell them to get some rest and not do anything before they know more.

They part slowly. Everybody seems worried and weary. None of them seem hurt, but with two team members missing, something very bad happened. Bucky is impatient, but he knows Steve will tell him when they are alone.

The ride in the elevator is quiet. Steve isn’t looking at him and Bucky doesn’t intrude on whatever is happening in Steve’s head. Not yet.

Inside their apartment, Steve stops by the couch and puts the shield down. Even from behind, he looks weary. Bucky walks over to him and puts a hand on his shoulder. “Will you tell me what happened?”

“I failed them…”

**

Getting Steve to explain what happened takes a while and getting him to calm down takes longer. His mind is already working, already trying to find a solution. And he should. They should. But not right now. Steve is wired and antsy and exhausted after the battle. He, like his team, needs to rest and decompress before anything else can happen.

So Bucky forces Steve to sit down on the couch with his left arm, for once being grateful of the extra strength it gives him and makes his boyfriend drink a glass of water. Steve still hasn’t taken off his dog tags and Bucky isn’t going to touch them, even if he himself is unmasked, unless Steve invites him to. It would be an intrusion. Instead, he puts a gentle hand on Steve’s arm as he sits down next to him.

“They are not gong to let Clint die. He is too useful for them alive. I’m sure they are treating his wounds as we speak. We have time.” Bucky says. He knows it’s true. What they did to him took years, but a lot of that were experiments, trying to find something that worked. STRIKE know what works now and Clint is already an excellent fighter. There is no doubt in Bucky’s mind that they’ll want to turn him into a Hunter, maybe try to make him replace The Asset. At the very least, they will need to interrogate him about his knowledge of Otherkind.

“I should have stopped them.” Steve says, not looking at Bucky. He is still too tense and jittery. “I should have seen the bomb, saved them, protected them! If I had been more attentive – “

“Stop that!” Bucky cuts in, grabbing Steve and turning him so they are face to face. “I _know_ you did _everything_ you could to protect them! You always do. You did everything you could and what happened is _not your fault._ You can’t change what happened by blaming yourself. And it’s not over. We’ll find a way to save them. You brought us all together, you saved me. Steve, we _will_ find a way to get them back, I promise.”

“B-Bucky…” It’s barely a whisper, Steve’s voice failing him as he starts to tremble. He’s tugging uselessly at the dog tags, his hands shaking.

“I’m here… It’s okay, I’ve got you… I’ve got you…” Bucky promises gently, helping Steve remove the tags before wrapping him in his arms. Steve whimpers quietly as he curls up as close to Bucky as possible and finally breaks down. Bucky holds him tight as Steve cries. It always takes a while for Steve to let himself fall apart like this, but as long as Bucky is able to, he will be there to put his love back together afterwards.

**

It’s dark outside, but neither Bucky nor Steve have moved from the couch. Steve is still curled up in Bucky’s arms, holding on a little too tight, and Bucky is stroking his hair and back gently. Steve isn’t crying anymore, but he isn’t ready to leave the safety of Bucky’s arms either. Bucky can feel him slowly pulling himself back together, but he would never rush it. Not when Steve allows himself to be so vulnerable with him.

“I don’t know what to do…” Steve says very quietly.

“I know…” Bucky kisses his forehead softly. “But you don’t have to know… Not right now… And you don’t have to figure it out alone… You have a team, your friends, me… We’ll figure it out together…”

Steve is quiet for a while, before he whispers again. “Thank you Bucky…”

“Of course my love… Always…” Bucky places another soft kiss on Steve’s forehead. “I’m here to take care of you when you forget it which seems to happen often.”

Steve makes a sound that isn’t a laugh but almost and manages a watery smile. Bucky squeezes him tightly for a long moment. “And right now taking care of you means getting some food in you. We both know how you get when you are hungry.”

Steve makes a dissatisfied sound, but still lets Bucky manhandle him into the kitchen and sits quietly by the table while Bucky fixes a couple sandwiches for them. Bucky is pretty sure he is hungry too, but he still finds it a little hard to read himself sometimes until his needs gets stronger. So he makes sure to eat every time Steve eats, just to be on the safe side.

Sitting down at the table with the food, Bucky moves his chair over to Steve so they are as close as possible while eating. He knows it was the right thing to do when Steve immediately leans on him, taking a deep breath, before he starts eating. Bucky puts his left arm around Steve and eats with his right hand.

Steve never seems bothered by the metal arm, not when it was the one STRIKE made him and not now, when it is the new one from Tony. He never shies away from its touch and never hesitates to touch it just as much as he touches the right. In the beginning, Bucky was sure it was just for show, to make him feel better, but as time went on, he realized that Steve didn’t care at all what the arm was made of. He only cared that it was part of Bucky.

When they are done eating, Bucky helps Steve into the bedroom. Steve might not be physically hurt, but he is in no way unscathed by what happened today. It’s no surprise that he is exhausted. In the bed, Steve curls up in Bucky’s arms for once. Mostly, it’s Bucky who needs the comfort, who needs to be held and kept safe from the nightmares and guilt and more trauma that either of them know what to do with. When Steve needs it, however, Bucky never hesitates to hold him as close as possible.

Bucky stays awake until he is sure that Steve is out, more due to exhaustion that relaxation, but at least he is asleep. When he is sure Steve isn’t going to wake up again any time soon, Bucky allows himself to drift off to sleep too.

**

They stay in bed longer than strictly necessary the next morning, but Bucky doesn’t care. He will gladly claim it’s for his sake if that is what Steve needs, so he hugs his boyfriend and enjoys the love and devotion Steve shares with him. It echoes in Bucky and he hopes Steve can feel just a little of it.

When they get up, Steve turns on the TV and watches the news while Bucky makes breakfast. From what he can hear, no one knows anything specific, but there is a lot of speculation. Some people are claiming that one of the Avengers were taken in by STRIKE, but they can agree on whether it’s because of his injuries or because of him being Otherkind. It’s not good, but it’s not as bad as it could be either Bucky thinks.

Steve is quiet while they eat, clearly thinking and trying to plan his way out of this, so Bucky doesn’t disturb him. Steve needs to find a way to save his friends and Bucky will be right there with him when it is time to fight, but right now he would just be in the way.

Bucky cleans up while Steve talks to JARVIS and plans for everybody to meet up. They are the first to arrive on the common floor and Steve starts working with JARVIS to pull up all the news coverage that mentions what happened yesterday. Slowly, the others start to show up. Natasha looks like she didn’t get much sleep and Bruce stays very close to her when she walks up to Steve to see the news clips. Even Sam shows up, having seen the news and wanting to make sure they are okay. Tony made sure he has access to the tower, even if he is not officially part of the team. They do trust him, but Bucky still keeps an eye on him. You can never be too careful.

Tony shows up a few moments later with Stephen and in the middle of a phone call. “No, now… The tower… Yes, I know… No, this is more important… Okay… See you soon…”

Steve turns to him and raises an eyebrow. Tony hangs up and looks at him. “Pepper is coming. We need her for this.”

Steve nods thoughtfully. Bucky doesn’t know much about Pepper, other than she is Tony’s ex-girlfriend and is the CEO of Stark Industries, because Tony wants to invent and needs someone else to handle the company. From what Steve has told him, Pepper is fierce and competent.

They are still watching the screens when the elevator dings and a beautiful redhead steps out. Her suit and skirt are immaculate and she truly looks like the leader of a company. She pauses and her eyes widen in surprise when she feels the strong presence of Otherkind. None of them are wearing masking signs; they rarely do on their private floors.

“Pep…” Tony says, stepping around the table and over to her. “Look, I know this is a surprise and I was going to tell you, I swear, but we don’t have time to be mad at me right now. We can all be mad at me later.”

“You… You’re… All of you?” Pepper asks, her eyes moving from one to the other, pausing for a moment at Bucky, before returning to Tony.

“Yes, all of us. Clint and Phil too, and now the Institute for Otherkind Control have them.” Tony says, taking Pepper by the arm and leading her towards the many screens. “And we need to get them back!”

“Okay, so… Okay…” Pepper stops in front of the screens, sending a last look towards Tony and Steve before seemingly pulling herself together. “What does the public know?”

“Nothing concrete so far. There are speculations, but they have no evidence.” Steve says.

“Good. That’s good. That means we still have a chance to get ahead of this.” Pepper says, quickly pulling her phone out and starts tapping away. “Any idea how you want to play this? You obviously knew about them before this, but do you want to tell people that? Admitting that you hid them here could cause trouble for you, but it will also show that you are not prejudice against Otherkind, despite the law.”

“We knew. I’m not going to lie about my friends.” Steve says, looking stern. Bucky is not surprised. Both he and Steve are fiercely loyal and lying about how much they knew about their friends feels wrong to both of them. Looking around the room, Bucky can see that the others agree.

“Okay… Okay, so you knew and you hid them because…?” Pepper asks, clearly trying to create a narrative that will make them look good.

“Because we are Otherkind too.” Steve says calmly. Pepper stops tapping on her phone and looks at him.

“Maybe that’s a little hasty Steve.” Bruce comments carefully. With all eyes on him, Bruce shuffles his feet a little and takes his glasses off to wipe them clean. “I know I’m not… Not like the rest of you, but going out and telling everybody that you are Otherkind? What is going to prevent the IOKC from coming here and locking us all up?”

“Bruce is right, Steve.” Sam says, looking from the screens to the Captain. “We can’t just throw everything away like that, we have to be careful.”

“And keep hiding? Hiding is what brought us here. Hiding is the reason Clint and Phil are prisoners. Hiding is the reason so many of us were alone for so long, that so many Otherkind still are. Hiding is the reason good people can’t be who they are because a few are afraid of them being different. Hiding is what makes us weak! We were all alone before this. We were hiding. If we hadn’t stopped, we would never have found each other. We are stronger together. We always talk about needing to make a stand, of standing up for out kind and helping them some day. Well, I say that day is now. I say we make a stand _now!_ ”

Bucky is staring. He can’t help it. Steve is all righteous fury and determination, like a golden beacon amidst the bluish screens. He looks like a commander. He looks like the war hero he is. He is beautiful, magnetic. He makes you want to do the right thing, no matter what. If Bucky was able to look away from his love, he would see that he is not the only one staring.

“You can continue to hide if you want. I won’t tell about anyone but myself. But I’m done hiding.” Steve finishes, locking eyes with each of them in turn.

“Me too.” Bucky say quietly. He doesn’t have the same passion as Steve, but he has a quiet conviction that makes the others look at him. He steps up to Steve and takes his hand. It’s support for both of them. “I’ll step forward, I’ll reveal myself. I’ll tell what they did to me, what they made me do. I… I don’t remember all of it, but I… I’ll tell what I can…”

It was never a choice. The only thing Bucky cannot lose is Steve and that means fighting beside him, no matter the battle. Even if he has to tell Steve the truth. Steve smiles and squeezes his hands gratefully.

“I’ll go too.” Tony says, startling a small gasp out of Pepper. “I have to Pep. There are already so many rumors and opinions about me, what’s one more?” He smiles, but there is something guarded in his eyes. “Besides… This might change things… And if anyone out there is alone, like I was… If we can change that…”

He trails off and Stephen puts an arm gently around him. “You will have my support as well Captain.”

“Clint won’t be able to keep his secret after this.” Natasha says, smiling. “I’m not going to let him have all the fun.”

“All right, all right, I can see when I’m outmatched.” Sam says resignedly. “I’m not letting you do this alone.”

Steve smiles and pats Sam’s shoulder reassuringly. “We can fight this together.”

Then he turns to Bruce, the only one left to speak. The scientist shrugs. “I’m not in danger with this, not like you are. But I will stand with you. You are my friends and the first people to trust me after… Well… I will support your decision.”

“That’s very nice, but it doesn’t answer how to keep you safe from the IOKC.” Pepper says. Steve, without letting go of Sam and Bucky, actually smiles at her.

“If they want to take on the Avengers, let them try.”

**

It takes less than an hour for Pepper to set up the press conference in the tower’s pressroom. It impresses Bucky how many reporters she seems to have on speed dial, since all the big news medias are in the room, waiting for them. He has seen other press conferences and there always seem to be at least twenty journalists ready to run to the tower and hear everything they have to say, no matter what else is going on. Bucky secretly suspects that Tony always has cameras ready with how fast a live broadcast can be arranged.

It’s not a question that Steve will be the one to speak. The others will stand behind him, silent support and ready to back him up if he needs them. Bucky will be by his side, where he belongs.

The room quiets the second they step on stage and then fills with whispers as the reporters notice Bucky. Not a lot of people know about The Asset, but there have been several rumors about the top Hunter from STRIKE, even a few pictures. Besides, it’s not every day that the Avengers get a new member and the whispers intensify when Sam steps onto stage as the last one.

Steve is calm and collected, stepping up to the microphone and commanding silence with his gaze. When one of the reporters doesn’t quiet down immediately, the others stare him into submission.

“Yesterday, following a mission in Manhattan, Hawkeye and Agent Coulson were taken in by STRIKE on suspicion of being Otherkind. A suspicion that is enough to get someone locked up no matter the circumstances, no matter who the person is and no matter if the person is in need of medical attention. Hawkeye had been badly hurt in the battle and was denied the professional medical help available at the scene because of this suspicion.”

Steve pauses for a moment. The only sound in the room is the furious tapping from phones and tablets.

“When I grew up, I was scared a lot. I was scared of dying, because I was frail and often sick. I was afraid of losing the people I loved. I was afraid of showing people that I loved them.” Steve reaches out and takes Bucky’s right hand. “I was afraid of showing who I really am. Today, I don’t have to be scared of being sick or standing by my love. But I still have to be scared of showing who I really am, because I am not as most other people. I won’t be scared anymore. I am done hiding. I am Otherkind.” Steve says firmly, taking the dog tags off with the free hand.

There is a brief moment of stunned silence as the feeling of Otherkind fills the room. Then the room erupts in sound as every journalist in the room tries to ask questions at the same time. Steve doesn’t flinch. He stands his ground, keeping quiet and keeping eye contact with each reporter until they sit down and shut up again.

“I know STRIKE will come for me. They will come in force, because we have allowed them to be strong. We have allowed them to have power over us, to force us to hide. But I will not back down. Yes, I am Otherkind, but I am not what we should fear. It is fear and distrust we must fear. It is prejudice and loneliness and laws that force us to be something we are not. Laws that separates us from our loved ones and locks us up for nothing more than who we were born as. I will no longer stand by silently as these laws are enforced. I will fight for the freedom and safety of all people, not because they are Otherkind, but because they are human. Because it is right!”

This time, there are no sounds in the room. The reporters seem speechless.

Steve gives a slight nod and one by one, the Avengers remove their masking signs until the all are revealed.

“We are weak because we are alone. We are weak because we let others keep us apart and hide our truths from friends and family. But I tell you now, you are no longer alone. Being Otherkind is not wrong! We will fight for you. We will help you. We will stand by you. Together, we will be strong!”


	24. Phil and STRIKE

It’s not until they separate him from Clint that Phil reacts. He fights his bonds and yells at Rumlow to let him stay with Clint, pleads and begs, anything, anything to make sure Clint is safe, but they ignore him and lock him up in a small, dark room, alone.

He doesn’t remember much of the drive or what the Center actually looked like, too focused on Clint’s pale face and wet breathing. He always feared that this is where he would end up, but he never imagined that it would be because he gave himself up.

**

They leave him alone for a long time. With no change in lighting and no windows, he can’t tell for sure, but it is most likely days. Since no one comes to see him, he gets no food, but there is a sink with cold, rusty water in the small bathroom. It’s better than nothing and drinking it is nowhere near as uncomfortable as using the toilet after he notices the camera in a corner. In the main room is a rickety bed with a lumpy mattress, concrete wall and floor and another camera. It’s actually one of the nicer places he has been held captive.

Not that he is able to enjoy that in any way. He doesn’t know anything. Where is Clint? Is he okay? Did they bring him here to or is he somewhere else? Is he okay? How badly was he hurt and what are they doing to help him? Did Steve understand his message to stay hidden? Did anyone else get hurt?

He had no idea. It’s much worse than being locked up. He spends most of the time pacing the room, trying to think through every single scenario and how it might have played out. The feeling that something is wrong is gone, but he really doesn’t need any special powers to know that he is in trouble. He doesn’t really care about that. He can stay here as long as they want him to, if he could just be sure Clint was okay.

**

When the door finally opens, Phil is hungry and anxious, but he sits calmly in the bed and focuses on looking passive. Rumlow enters the room with an unpleasant smile. “You seem to be settling in nicely.”

Phil just raises an eyebrow and looks at him. He has been interrogated before by people far more intimidating and exceedingly more skilled. It’s part of the job. Rumlow needs to try harder to get an answer.

“You’ll be happy to know that your boyfriend is alive…”

Of course, no one who interrogated him before knew about Clint or had him prisoner as well. “What have you done to him?”

“We’ve kept him alive. You should be thanking us.”

“Thank you. When can I see him?” Phil asks calmly. Rumlow smiles. “You get to see him if you behave. I’m not unreasonable. Tell me what I want to know and you get visitation rights to Agent Barton.”

Phil looks away. He would do almost anything to see Clint, but betraying the trust of his friends is not one of them.

**

“Tell me about the Avengers. You work more with them than anyone else. Which of them are Otherkind?”

**

“How did you discover that Agent Barton was Otherkind as well?”

**

“How long have you known that Agent Barton was Otherkind?”

**

“How many Otherkind do you know? Where are they?”

**

“Was this you plan all along?”

**

“Tell me about the Avengers.”

**

“What happens next? What is your play?”

**

“Tell me about Sam Wilson.”

**

The beatings start the third time Rumlow comes to see him. Phil stays as silent as his body will allow him. It’s bad, but not permanent. It hurts, but nothing gets broken. It’s not the first time Rumlow have done this.

And still, Phil stays silent. He burns to ask questions of his own, about Clint and his team and what happened, but he knows it would do no good. So he clenches his jaw and closes his eyes as Rumlow raises his hand again.

Some of the questions don’t really make sense to him. Rumlow asking about how long they have been planning this, if he volunteered himself to get captured, if Clint was part of that or just got caught in the crossfire. Did he know Clint would be in danger because of their little uprising?

Something is happening, clearly. Something to do with the Avengers, but Phil has no idea what. It’s easy not to say anything about that. He stays silent and lets Rumlow ask anything he wants.

**

They do eventually give him something to eat. It’s not much and it’s not good, but it’s enough to keep him from starving to death.

So he eats and he sleeps and keeps quiet while Rumlow beats him. Time goes on and he loses count of what might have been days. It’s been more than a week he thinks, but he can’t be sure anymore.

**

Most of his body hurts by now. Rumlow is getting impatient and has moved on to other techniques, waterboarding being Phil’s absolute least favorite. It’s terrifying every time, but still he holds fast. His friends need him to keep quiet.

He has started dreading the sound of footsteps outside the door. It means Rumlow is coming to visit with some new kind of pain and terror.

**

Phil is tired and hurt and alone. He hopes Steve and the others are trying to find a way to save him and Clint, but he doesn’t really believe it. No one gets away from the Institute for Otherkind Control.

He wishes, in his darkest hours when he needs something to believe in, that someone will come for Clint and keep him safe.

**

When the door opens and two unfamiliar STRIKE agents come into the room, Phil isn’t sure what to expect. He doesn’t struggle as the pull him from the bed and lead him through the compound to a viewing room with a large window in one of the walls. Rumlow is standing by the window, looking into the room behind the glass. Phil can’s see what it is until the two agents lead him up next to his former allied.

It’s a medical room. At least, it was supposed to be at one time. Now it’s something else.

On a table in the middle is Clint, naked and shivering, tied firmly to the cold metal beneath him. There are bruises on his pale skin and blood in more places than Phil likes to think about. Several electrodes are placed on his chest and sides.

“You wanted to see him.” Rumlow says with an unpleasant smile as he turns towards Phil. “Here he is. Are you going to give me some answers now?”

Phil stays quiet, biting his cheek and tasting blood. He knows what is about to happen and there is nothing he can do to stop it.

“Fine, have it your way.” Rumlow says and waves at the agents in Clint’s room. It’s so easy when you watch it. They just flip a switch. But as soon as the switch is on, Clint’s entire body convulses and he screams so loud that Phil is sure he will never be able to hear anything else.

“Tell me where to find the rest of you.” Rumlow demands over the screams, but Phil stays silent. Only years of training as a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent makes it possible for Phil to remain impassive. He doesn’t move a muscle. He doesn’t scream and cry and rage like he wants to. He stays perfectly still and perfectly quiet.

Clint isn’t quiet. He keeps screaming until his voice gives out.

Rumlow isn’t quiet. He keeps asking the same questions.

Phil stays quiet.

**

It feels like hours. It must be. For Phil, it could just as well have been years. Finally, they turn the machine off and a doctor goes over to Clint to see how much damaged has been done. Phil is looking at Clint’s face, at his hazy, distant eyes and half open mouth. Clint isn’t aware and hasn’t been for a while. He stopped screaming at some point, but no one seemed to notice.

Rumlow looks at Phil, disappointment clear in his face.

“How can you let him suffer like that when you know you can stop it? Don’t you think he will be disappointed to learn that the man he loves is the reason he is in pain.”

“If I told you anything, I wouldn’t be the man he loves.”

**

Afterwards, they bring him to another room. It’s much the same as the first, except for the air vent in the wall. It’s very strategically placed. It must somehow connect to Clint’s room because ever so often, he can hear Clint’s screams.

**

They bring him back to the observation room again and again. Watching Clint is the most terrifying Phil has ever done.

There is nothing he can do to help. To spare him the pain.

He can only stand and watch as his beloved slowly dies.


	25. Bucky

There are several questions following Steve’s statement and he takes the time to answer each one. He never clarifies if Clint and Phil are Otherkind or not, keeping to the fact that Steve himself is and that he will fight for any Otherkind who need him. The others mostly stay as quiet support, unless a question is directed specifically at them. A lot of the reporters wants to know about Tony and what this will mean for the future of Stark Industries, but as kind as Tony can be privately, he can be just as cold with journalists who try to snoop and they only get very little.

Yes, Tony will support Steve, yes, he is Otherkind, no, he will not step back from any of his positions, no, this will not have any effect on Stark Industries.

Steve allows most questions and when he doesn’t, he shuts them down hard. Bucky takes no questions and says nothing, does nothing, except stand next to Steve. The Captain explains that Bucky will tell his story later. They agreed before this. What Bucky has to say is different from the others and too important to get lost in the general chaos of the news of the Avengers being Otherkind. Even if he hasn’t told Steve or any of the others yet, they all know that what he has to say is crucial to their cause.

The questions have in no way diminished when the doors slam open to reveal Rumlow, Sitwell and several other STRIKE agents entering with weapons drawn. Most of the reporters don’t move, they just turn their cameras to the door to catch all the drama.

Rumlow walks up to the podium and stands right in front of Steve. “On behalf of The Institute for Otherkind Control, you are all to be escorted to the Center for questioning.”

“No.” Steve just says. The Avengers move up from the back of the podium to make a half circle around their Captain, looking down at Rumlow.

“No?”

“No, we are not going.”

“It wasn’t a question. Apart from the fact that you have stolen the property of the IOKC, you have all declared yourself Otherkind and therefore enemies of Humankind.” Rumlow sends a side-glance to Bucky, who tightens his grip on Steve’s hand. He used to belong to STRIKE. They made him belong to them, obey them. He doesn’t remember all of it, but he is scared that they will take control of him again. That they will take him away from Steve.

“He is not your property. He is staying here. We all are.” Steve says firmly, squeezing Bucky’s hand. Tony steps up next to Bucky, arms crossed over his chest, and he is not alone. All the Avengers look ready to attack.

“You will come peacefully or we will bring your in by force.” Rumlow says, trying to sound as firm as Steve did without much success.

“No, you won’t.” Tony says. “You will leave. This is my property and you are not welcome. So, either leave peacefully or you will be escorted out.”

There is a clanging sound, metal on metal, and several doors open. Out of every door they come, marching like no human ever could. Iron Man suits, legions and legions of them. Bucky knew that Tony had made several, but he never imagined there were this many or that they could move without Tony inside. They surround the STRIKE agents and reports, standing at attention. Not threatening, but not friendly either.

“Interview over.” Steve says and turns to leave, dragging Bucky with him. Bucky hurries to follow, not wanting to be closer to Rumlow for a second longer. He hears the STRIKE agent call out after them, but the Iron Army have stepped in front of the podium, keeping them back. The other Avengers follow calmly and Tony even waves at the agents before the doors close behind him.

**

“So, we’ve declared war on STRIKE and the IOKC. What’s next?” Sam says, when they are safely back on their own floor.

“Now we win the war.” Steve says calmly. He still hasn’t let go of Bucky’s hand, which is a good thing as Bucky is incapable of making decisions at the moment and just clings to Steve for dear life. Steve makes them both sit down on the couch and puts an arm around Bucky, keeping him close. Bucky relaxes a little, but he doesn’t talk and doesn’t move. Nothing happened and yet too much happened. Rumlow was so close. Rumlow wanted to take him back to the IOKC. Too many memories are pressing in at once and all Bucky can do is hold on to Steve.

In the beginning, he would be ashamed that the others saw him like this, incapable of functioning without Steve’s help, but he quickly learned that no one cared. They all have different scars and sometimes they are more obvious than other. It doesn’t make them see him any different.

Because they have seen Bucky like this before, they all know that the best way to help him is to leave him alone to cling to Steve until he can sort through whatever is happening in his head. They arrange themselves around the couch, but keeping their distance to Bucky.

“I didn’t know you had that many suits.” Sam says, looking at Tony, who just smiles.

“He doesn’t.” comes a new voice and Stephen steps into the room. “But he does have a boyfriend who knows how to cast a strong illusion.”

“Cheater.” Natasha says, smiling and winking to Tony. Someone laughs, but it’s getting harder for Bucky to focus. It took everything he had to keep together in front of Rumlow and now that they are safe and he can relax, he can feel himself slipping away. It’s safe to let go now. Steve is with him, Steve will make sure nothing happens.

**  
Желание

Rumlow. Always Rumlow. His face, his movements, his laugh, his voice when he shouts and commands. It always comes back to Rumlow.

Семнадцать

There is a gun in his hand. There is blood on his clothes. Someone is dead at his feet. He doesn’t know her name. It wasn’t necessary.

Ржавый

His hands are bound. The chair is cold behind him. He doesn’t fight. He is not supposed to. He know there will be pain, but he is not sure why. It’s hard to remember.

Рассвет

Sometimes there is a shadow in an unguarded moment. A shadow of something, someone from before. Blonde hair and blue eyes. A thin frame racked by coughing, breathing raggedly. The blonde is important, even if he has no idea why.

Печь

They don’t sedate him as they cut him open. There is no need. They know exactly how much his body can take before it starts to be dangerous. When they are done, they leave him to heal alone.

Девять

He goes where they tell him, does what they tell him, kills who they tell him. No questions.

Добросердечный

It hurts his lungs. The metal around him is freezing his skin and the restraints keep him from moving. His body is slowly filling with ice. He can’t scream, it’s not allowed. Nothing is allowed. He is not needed anymore. It always takes a long time before the cold reaches his mind and the pain disappears into darkness.

Возвращение на родину

Something is wrong. Something is wrong. It’s wrong it’s wrong it’s wrong it hurts. It hurt. It hurts! He can’t move, why can’t he move? It’s all wrong. Why does it hurt so much?

Один

Sargent… 32557038… James Buchanan Barnes… Sargent… 32557038…

Товарный вагон

There are too many memories to make sense of at once. They circle him like sharks and rush him all at once. They drown each other out, making it hard to make sense of anything. It’s too much at once. It’s too much.

**

When Bucky is able to notice his surroundings again, he is in their bedroom, in the bed. He is half sitting, half lying against Steve, who is slowly running a hand through his hair. It’s soothing. It’s soft and gentle and loving. It’s everything STRIKE is not. Steve is all that. Steve is love.

For a while, he doesn’t move. He just stays very still in Steve’s arm, remembering everything that has nothing to do with STRIKE, everything that came before and after. Everything that has to do with Steve.

Steve is the light in his darkness, the fire in a cold void that brought Bucky back. And Steve continues to bring him back every time he needs it.

“Steve?” It’s a whisper. He doesn’t have voice for more. He never needs more.

“I’m here Bucky. Are you with me?” Steve’s hand slows a little, but doesn’t stop stroking him. Bucky takes a deep breath and hides his face in Steve’s chest for a moment.

“Yeah… I’m here… I… I was… I…”

“You don’t have to explain anything baby. I will never ask for more than you are willing to give.” Steve promises, hugging Bucky a little tighter to place a kiss in his hair.

“I want… I want to… To tell you…” Bucky licks his lips, trying to find the words.

“Take your time. I’m right here. I’m not leaving.” Steve tells him softly.

Bucky takes a moment to breath and absorb the strength he always finds in Steve’s embrace. “Rumlow… He… He was my last handler… He told me what to do, who to kill… He controlled me. I don’t… I don’t want that again… I can’t… I…”

Steve pulls him in for a kiss then, long and lingering. “That’s not going to happen. Never again. I will not let that happen.” He promises and Bucky believes him. Steve will do everything in his power to keep Bucky safe, no matter what. Knowing he is so loved makes it easier to remember.

So Bucky starts talking. He tells Steve of what he remembers, what they did to him, experiments he didn’t understand, pain like he never knew before, fear and loneliness and being cold into the center of his very soul. His voice is shaky and breaks a lot, but still he keeps talking. He has to say everything now. He has to tell Steve.

But it gets harder when he come to the one thing he fears more than anything. The truth.

“I… I don’t think… I’m Otherkind anymore… They did… There were experiments…”

Steve pauses, just for a second, but it feels like an eternity. Then he resumes petting Bucky’s hair. “You don’t invite me to share anymore… But you share when I start…”

“I… Don’t know if I can initiate…” Bucky whispers. Steve doesn’t leave. He doesn’t even move away. Instead, he holds Bucky closer and kisses his hair. “I love you. Humankind, Otherkind or something else entirely, I will always love you Bucky.”

It makes Bucky cry. He doesn’t even try to keep it back. Knowing that even if he is broken, even if he is something wrong, Steve will still love him is enough to break any and all control he could have. And still, Steve doesn’t care. He just holds Bucky closer and shares his love. Every time Steve lets him into his soul makes Bucky feel blessed, especially since he can’t invite Steve into his the same way. He knows Steve feels something from him when they share, but he isn’t sure how much. He isn’t sure how different he is now. And as long as Steve loves him, it really doesn’t matter.

**

For two days, they are barricaded in the tower. No one comes in or out. Everybody who works for Stark Industries has been sent home to keep them out of the conflict. The tower is well stocked, so they can stay there for a long time before they start needing anything. The Iron Legion watches every door into the tower, making sure no one gets too close. There are STRIKE soldiers outside at all times. So far, they haven’t moved to break in, but they are still being watched closely.

On the third day, they hold another press conference. Only the journalists who were at the first conference are allowed in and they are all searched before entering the building.

All the Avengers are on the stage again, but only Steve and Bucky walk up to the microphone.

“Welcome back.” Steve says, looking firmly at the many people gathered. “Today will be different than last time. There will be no questions. It will end when we say it ends and anyone who doesn’t follow our rules will be escorted from the building.”

Most of the reporters seem surprised. Steve is usually very friendly at interviews, taking time to answer each question and smiling everyone. Today is different. Today he is protecting Bucky.

Steve steps a little aside and leaves the microphone for Bucky. Taking a deep breath, Bucky steps up and looks out at his audience.

“You don’t know me. My name is James Buchanan Barnes. I have been known as the Winter Soldier and The Asset. I was a collared Hunter for STRIKE.”

He hears them, the surprised murmurs. They whisper about him. They are wondering. What is a Hunter doing with the Avengers just as they have revealed themselves as Otherkind? Steve puts a hand on the small of his back to support him and Bucky goes on.

“Not by choice. I was never asked, never given the option. I… I was captured and made a Hunter. I was brainwashed to forget my name, my friends, my love. I was controlled and collared, never given any choices. I did what they told me because it was all I knew.”

Bucky pauses to breathe and notices that the room is now completely silent. It was a common understanding that Hunter choose to be Hunters for the benefits it would give them with the IOKC, not that some were forced into service.

Bucky has never known a Hunter who chose it.

“I am Otherkind. At least, I used to be. I am no longer sure, after what was done to me.” Bucky takes the glove off and shows the hand. It’s the one Tony made, but it’s enough to give some physical evidence of what happened to him. All cameras on the room zoom in on it.

When the shock has died down, he continues talking. He tells them everything he knows, everything he remembers. The murders, the hunts, the experiments, the torture and the frozen pauses in-between. No one says a word. Even the other Avengers have their full attention on him. Only Steve, who knows most of what he has to say, doesn’t seem surprised and focuses on giving Bucky his silent support.

**

It takes hours. By the end, Bucky’s mind only knows what Steve told him. Tell your story. Tell them everything. Let them see what the IOKC really is. So he keeps talking, even when all free will has left him. He could be the Hunter again, if someone told him to. But Steve is right next to him, making sure nothing happens.

He keeps talking as his voice breaks and he starts losing the thread. Then Steve takes his hands and squeezes it gently. “That’s enough for now.” He whispers and Bucky stops.

Steve puts an arm around Bucky and steps up to the microphone again. “The Institute for Otherkind Control claims to protect us. They claim that what they do is to ensure out safety. But they do it with torture and mind control, with murder and terror. Are we willing to let them take away our freedom because they have decided that because we are different, we are dangerous? You have called me a hero. You have called me America’s golden son. Then listen to me! I am the shield that protects, not the danger in the dark. I will no longer hide the truth and I will never surrender my freedom to those who whishes to grab control by fear and misdirection.”

There are voices after that, questions and some shouting, but Bucky doesn’t hear the words. He only hears Steve’s gentle whispers, telling him to come alone, there you go, easy now Buck, you did so good…

Steve leads him to their room and gives Bucky a change of clothes. When they are both dressed in their nightwear, Steve tells Bucky to lie down in the bed and lies down next to him, pulling Bucky into his embrace.

“Just relax now soldier. You’ve done your part.”

**

Bucky wakes up some time later. He is not sure if he was actually asleep or if it just felt like it. The bed beneath him is soft and Steve’s arms are warm around him. Even in his sleep, the captain is holding on tight to keep Bucky close. It’s comfortable and safe and good and suddenly it feels wrong. Remembering everything means remembering what he did. Bucky is a murderer. He is dangerous and can’t even control himself all the time. Steve is good and strong. Steve is a hero. He deserves someone better.

He is halfway out of the bed before Steve wakes up, looking a little confused. “Bucky… Where are you going?”

“I’m… I… I have to…” Bucky stops by the edge of the bed, unsure. He wants to stay _so bad_. But Steve deserves someone better. Someone who doesn’t suddenly stop being able to make decisions and have to be told to eat because he doesn’t understand his body’s signals.

“What’s wrong baby?” Steve gets out of bed and moves over to Bucky, who pulls away.

“Don’t…” Bucky puts his arms around himself, trying to hide how much he is shaking. “I’m not… You shouldn’t…”

“Bucky?” Steve’s voice is so kind, so gentle and patient. It’s because he doesn’t understand. He needs to know that this can’t be, they are wrong together and Steve needs to find someone better.

“I’m not Bucky anymore Steve. Bucky is dead! I’m The Asset. I’m not the same. I’m broken and dangerous.” Bucky says, voice rising hysterically.

“So am I.” Steve says calmly and Bucky freezes. He never realized how much Steve changed too. Steve, his beautiful, wonderful, good Steve, has suffered and lost and fought more than anyone should have to. He had to change, because the world around him wasn’t the same. But no matter what else changed, his love didn’t. Somehow, no matter what happened, Steve kept loving Bucky.

“I… I’m not… You deserve someone better…” Bucky whispers. All he wants to do is hide in Steve’s arms, but he is trying to be better than that. He is trying to give Steve an excuse to leave him.

“I can’t get anyone better than you Buck.” Steve says softly, taking a slow step closer. “You are the only one I ever wanted.”

“You… You don’t… Need me anymore…” Bucky doesn’t move away this time. He is not strong enough to put distance between them. He just wants to be close to Steve.

“I do. Maybe I don’t need you to take care of me when I’m sick anymore, but I still need you more than anything. I’m only really happy when you are with me.” Steve says, carefully taking Bucky’s right hand in both his. He places Bucky’s hand over his heart. “Remember how my heart used to feel? Feeble and uneven? It’s not like that anymore, is it? How does it feel now?”

“Strong… Steady…” Bucky says, closing his eyes so he can focus on the feeling of Steve’s heart under his hand. He opens his eyes again when Steve steps closer so they are only inches from each other. “That’s because it’s beating for you. Strong and steady like my love for you.”

“Steve…” Bucky whispers, looking up at his love, tears filling his eyes. Maybe he should be more insistent, but he can’t. He isn’t strong enough. All he ever wanted is Steve. He can’t bring himself to fight him away.

Rushing forwards, Bucky grabs Steve and pulls him as close as possible. Hiding his face in Steve’s neck, he feels something. Faint, but definitely there, it’s a part of him long hidden. It might be broken, but it’s not gone. Grabbing Steve tighter, Bucky tries to share the feeling, to invite Steve in like Steve has let him in so often.

“S… Steve?”

“I’m here Buck… I feel you…”

**

The time that follows is both boring and terrifying. There is very little Bucky can do, no enemy to fight, no battle to win. There are meetings and hearings and talks and discussions. Steve is good at it. Bucky is not. Most of the time, he stays back, watching Steve talk. No matter how long it goes on, Steve never loses the fire and passion.

They are not S.H.I.E.L.D. anymore. As a government agency, S.H.I.E.L.D. cannot be part of their, essentially, illegal activities. So they are cut off. It’s not that big of a problem. They don’t need the money, Tony is still rich, even if Pepper has to take over as temporary CEO of Stark Industries, since Tony is breaking all sorts of laws at the moment. Even if they are mostly on their own, they are still the Avengers. They will not back down from this fight. Not when more and more people every day rice up to declare themselves Otherkind and join the fight. Not when, for the first time, things might change.


	26. Phil

No one has been to see him in a while. In some ways, it’s fine. Phil was always good at being alone and often preferred it to be among people in his youth. At least alone, no one beats him and his broken fingers have slowly started to heal. Not properly, but they do hurt a little less. On the other hand, it means he hasn’t seen Clint or heard anything through the vents in days (he is pretty sure it must be days by now) and he has no idea what they are doing to him. If he is even still alive.

No. He is alive! He has to be. Clint is alive. Phil has to believe that if he wants to stay sane. Clint is alive and they are going to make it out of this.

**

Time blurs together. They feed him at irregular intervals so he can’t track time that way. More often than not they leave him alone. They seem busy with something and Rumlow hasn’t been there for a long time. Something is happening, but of course they don’t tell him anything. It’s not something violent and fast, he would have noticed more changes if it were. It’s slow and marginal to begin with, but it’s there. Phil is still a trained agent and it is his job to notices changes and moods. The STRIKE agents are worried and agitated, even if they try not to show it near him.

Whatever it is, Phil hopes it will continue and give them more trouble. Everything that worries STRIKE is a good thing.

**

He is sleeping when the feeling wakes him up. It’s familiar, but it’s the first time he has felt it since getting locked up by the IOKC. The feeling that something is about to happen. Something that he needs to be ready for.

He gets up and starts pacing the room, something he has been doing a lot lately. Three steps long, two wide, the room doesn’t offer much in the way of exercise, so mostly he just turns and walks and turns and walks and turns. But he is up and he is ready. Something is going to happen and it might be his chance to get away and find Clint.

Because he is already expecting something, the shock he gets from the door being smashed in is not as big as it could have been. Seeing Steve emerge from the dust is quiet a surprise but, opposite to everything else going on right now, it’s a very nice surprise.

Steve is dressed for battle, full uniform and shield on the arm. There is already blood and dust on him, meaning he has been fighting his way over, but no sounds from the hallway behind him.

“Phil?” Steve looks relieved for a moment, before he hurries over to check Phil’s injuries. “Are you okay? What did they do to you?”

“Not as much as they did to Clint. Is he safe? Did you find him?” Phil asks, not even sparing a thought for his own injuries. If there is any chance for him to get to Clint that is more important than anything else.

“Not yet, we only just… Phil?” Steve cuts off halfway when Phil runs from the room and out into the hallway. He can hear the heavy tread of Steve behind him, but doesn’t slow down. He knows the way. He knows it even if they never took him by the same route twice and even if they always tried to keep him from knowing the layout of the place. He knows it because the feeling in him tells him where to go, how to find the most important person in his life.

The door is locked as well, but it’s no match for Steve’s strength and they enter the room together. It’s bigger than Phil’s to make room for the hospital bed by the opposite wall. Several machines are connected to the person in the bed. Phil hurries over and feels his entire body go cold at the sight of Clint, far too pale and unconscious in the bed.

“My love?” Phil whispers, but gets no reaction. Behind him, he hears Steve talking to the team on the comlink. It sounds like the rest are still fighting, but not for much longer. A small part of Phil wants to go find them, to help, but mostly he wants to never ever leave Clint’s side again. So he runs a careful hand over his love’s hair and talks gently to him.

He isn’t even sure if Steve stays or leaves. His focus is on Clint, on making sure he keeps breathing, on checking all the readings from the machines surrounding him and cataloguing his injuries. It’s too much. It’s really bad. Clint is beaten and broken and so, so hurt. They hurt him so much.

**

Some amount of time passes. Phil neither knows nor cares how much. Clint is here. He is alive and Phil will make sure he is never hurt again. Phil will do everything in his power to help him get better. He doesn’t move until Steve is by his side with Tony and Natasha.

“The place is cleared.” Steve tells him. “There is an ambulance ready to take Clint to the hospital.”

Phil looks behind him and sees a couple of S.H.I.E.L.D. paramedics, nervously waiting. Someone must have told them not to approach Clint until Phil was informed, because they keep looking at him.

He doesn’t want other people touching Clint. He doesn’t want other people anywhere near Clint. But he knows Clint needs help that Phil cannot give him and he reluctantly lets the paramedics take over. Steve puts a hand on his arm and stays close enough to keep somewhat Phil calm.

**

They let him drive along to the hospital where Steve meets him as soon as they step out. Steve being there is the only reason Phil lets Clint out of his sight to be examined by the doctors. 

Because Steve is still there to manage Phil, he lets the doctor take a look at his injuries, set his fingers and bandaged them properly. He even accepts some painkiller after being promised that they will not impair his mind so he can keep an eye on Clint.

Steve keeps talking, trying to distract Phil, who hardly listens. He knows it’s important, he knows Steve is doing what he can to help, but right now, nothing matters but Clint.

Still, as time passes with no news, he listens a little as Steve explains about revealing himself and the rest of the Avengers, about them standing up to STRIKE, about Bucky telling his story and getting the attention of the right people. About their campaign to make Otherkind OK and to outlaw anything the Institute for Otherkind Control did.

It does surprise him how much they have managed to change while he was imprisoned. The senate is working on a way to make it legal to be Otherkind and revoke every rule against them. It will take time to change to law and even longer to change people’s minds, but it’s a very good start. Shutting down STRIKE was a very important first step. It seems that Rumlow and some of the other agents refused to release their prisoners and The Avengers had to intervene and shut the Institute down forcefully. The other prisoners are being treated by S.H.I.E.L.D. personal and will get to return home when they are debriefed.

**

When the doctor finally comes, there are good news and bed news. The good news is that STRIKE knew what they did, inflicting a lot of pain without causing much damaged. The bad news is that they didn’t exactly know how to treat the injuries Clint got from the battle with AIM. By the looks of it, Clint will suffer a severe hearing loss on his right ear and a moderate hearing loss on the left.

They let him into Clint’s room afterwards. Clint is still unconscious and hooked up to several machines, but Phil thinks he looks better now. It may be his imagination. 

Steve, being Steve, manages to get another bed into the room and even convinces Phil to lie down on it, just to relax a little. He takes Clint’s hand and watches him carefully until he falls asleep without meaning to.

Phil sleeps for a long time. Even in his dreams, he feels the slight tingle of Otherkind where he is holding Clint’s hand and it makes him feel relaxed for the first time since the AIM attack. 

**

The days that follow are hard in many ways. Steve and the rest of The Avengers are still working on making Otherkind okay and have to be away a lot of the time. Only Bucky seems to have done his part and stay in the vicinity of Phil and Clint, should they need him. It makes Phil glad to see how much better the former soldier is by now, able to make decisions without hesitation and smiling truly, probably for the first time in several decades.

Clint gets better slowly. It takes days before he is coherent and even longer before he can stay awake for more than a few minutes at the time. Learning that his hearing has been permanently damaged is a hard blow, but Phil never leaves his side and Tony makes a hearing aid that almost makes Clint’s hearing normal again. To entertain them while Clint is still bedridden, Phil takes it upon himself to teach both of them sign language.

When Clint is better, they are moved back to the tower, to their apartment. Bruce takes over looking after Clint, even if he keeps mumbling that he is ‘not that kind of doctor’ and Phil spends his time taking care of his love. Someone, mostly Bucky, is always nearby if they need them.

**

There are nightmares. There are sleepless nights and terror and tears in the dark. There is fear and confusion and a lot of pain. For both of them. But it does get better. It takes a long time, but they both get better.

**

The first time Phil speaks in front of the journalists, Clint is watching the TV in their room. No one wants him closer to the ruckus than he has to be and Natasha is with him. It’s only because of this that Phil agrees to leave Clint. He knows he needs to tell them, to talk about what happened, but he would rather just hide with his love.

He talks alone for hours. He tells them everything he remembers, everything he knows about STRIKE and the Institute, both from S.H.I.E.L.D. and from his own visit. They take notes and video and ask questions that he answers. He tries to keep Clint out of it as much as possible, but he needs to tell some of it. They need to know about the torture, about using Clint’s pain to get to Phil. They need to know so it will never happen again.


	27. Steve and everything after...

Steve is called in as a witness when they sign it. He has read it beforehand and had some of Tony’s layers explain the more complicated paragraphs. The wording is not important to him, but the meaning is. And his name will be on it along with the members of the senate.

The law that prohibits any kind of persecution, harassment, or discrimination of Otherkind.

The law that means they won.

**

Going home to Bucky unmasked feels like more of a victory than signing his name on a piece of paper. Especially when he feels Bucky sharing his happiness. Bucky’s sharing is still shaky at best, weak and sometimes not enough to make a connection between them even with Steve making him stronger, but it’s getting better. If it never were to be more than this, Steve would gladly take it if it meant he could hold Bucky in his arms.

They were always meant to be together, Steve thinks, holding Bucky tight. After everything that happened, no one but Steve and his gift for enhancing others would have been able to bring Bucky’s Otherkindness out again. But now they both know it’s there, like a skill long forgotten or a muscle neglected in training. They can find it again, together.

“You won.” Bucky says when they finally let go a little to look at each other.

“We won.” Steve corrects him. “You story was the main reason STRIKE was disbanded. Hearing about what they had done to you brought so many other stories to the light. Without you, we would still be fighting.”

A second’s hesitation. Steve knows it for what it is. Doubt and guilt and the feeling that he is not good enough for Steve, will never be the Bucky that Steve knew. Steve had been surprised to learn that Bucky felt that way and have since done everything in his power to convince Bucky that he is loved and desired and good. Bucky is everything he wants. This time, he does it with a kiss, long and loving. His left hand sneak into Bucky’s hair and the right go around his waist, pulling them as close at clothes allow.

They kiss until Steve is breathless and Bucky is leaning on him like his legs have given out. Steve smiles at the dazed look in Bucky’s eyes.

“We won…” he repeats. “I think we should go celebrate…”

“Yeah…” Bucky replies, a little dreamy. It’s easy for Bucky to get lost in a feeling now, because he has been without it for so long. Steve cherishes every time he can make Bucky look like that, like there is nothing in the world but the two of them.

With a gentle tug Steve leads Bucky into the bedroom and onto the bed before climbing in next to him. They curl up together and for a long time, that is all there is; the two of them, holding each other close and kissing like they are trying to make up for lost time.

Bucky feels right in Steve’s arms. His build is bigger now, more firm and muscular, the arm is hard and sometimes cold, but it still feels right. This is how it is supposed to be. This is everything Steve has ever wanted.

**

Otherkind does not get universally accepted just because they signed a law. There is still much work to do, but Steve is proud to be part of that work. He will speak anywhere and to anyone who will listen, he will help any who needs him and he will fight as long as it is needed.

Steve goes to all the STRIKE trials. Neither Clint nor Phil wants to go and Bucky never want to be anywhere near anything that reminds him of his time as a Hunter, but Steve needs to see it. He needs to see them brought to justice. It pleases him immensely to see the metal plates on Rumlow’s face, supporting his jaw. Steve was the first to find Rumlow when they attacked STRIKE and the captain did nothing to hold back his considerable strength when he attacked the STRIKE agent. It was very satisfying to hear his jaw breaking.

Most of the people involved with STRIKE get very severe sentences. The judge is trying to set precedence for discrimination against Otherkind and Steve is very okay with that. Even if none of the Avengers testify in the courtroom, all of their stories are well known by now. Phil’s imprisonment, Clint’s torture and Bucky’s time as a hunter against his will. The stories have been running non-stop since they were told and have made a big impact on how people see STRIKE and Otherkind. Because his friends were brave, Otherkind will no longer have to hide. Steve has never been more proud of his team.

The Avengers still help both humankind and Otherkind with no discrimination. Some people won’t accept their help anymore, since most of the team is Otherkind, but mostly, people are happy that someone saves their life. The positive image of the Avengers does a lot to persuade the general public that Otherkind are nothing to fear.

Bucky never talks in public again. He prefers to stay anonymous, even when he fights with the team. He doesn’t want the attention. He still needs to go hunting sometimes, but it happens less and less as more people come to accept Otherkind instead of fear them. More often than not, his nights are spent inside with Steve, watching a movie or talking or just holding each other.

Stark Industries becomes a frontrunner of inclusion, making it the first workplace where Otherkind can work without masking signs when Tony comes back as CEO. Pepper easily steps down, never having wanted the position to begin with. Tony himself has stopped masking his heart and will raise hell and high water to make sure none of his employees are discriminated because of what they are. His layers are busy, but Tony pays them well and really, it’s why he hired them.

Stephen’s life doesn’t change much. A lot of what he does stays secret, but that has more to do with magic than being Otherkind. He stays with Tony at the tower most days and helps the Avengers when they need a mystic or just an extra hand. He never stops guarding Tony’s heart.

The same goes for Sam, who becomes a part-time Avenger along with his job at the VA and, after the law got signed, his work with helping Otherkind who have been mistreated or unjustly treated. It’s a lot like what he did before, now he just gets paid and can do it out in the open.

Natasha often helps Sam, using her skills to find Otherkind who need help or humankind who have done Otherkind wrong. They don’t hunt them down on their own, but help the local authority get justice. Not everyone is glad for the help, but since the law is on their side now, there is not much anyone can do to stop them. When Natasha comes home, Bruce is waiting for her, ready to talk about some new discovery he made with Tony or his humanitarian work. Since Bruce is not Otherkind, a lot of media would like to talk to him about living with so many Otherkind, but Bruce was never one for the spotlight and mostly he politely declines. From time to time, if the right person approaches him, he will agree to a written interview to affirm that he was never afraid to be around Otherkind. That there is very little he needs to fear because of The Other Guy is never mentioned.

Like Bucky, neither Clint nor Phil talk to the public again. They have told their side and have nothing more to say. They spend a lot of time on Clint’s recovery and therapy, making sure that he gets through his trauma as painlessly as possible. Tony pays for everything, from the best doctors to the best physical therapy, not taking no for an answer even if Phil tries to argue. Phil returns to S.H.I.E.L.D. only to act as a liaison between them and the Avengers, who agree to stay on their own. They might find themselves in a position where they have to break the law again and they don’t want to create problems for others. Besides, it works better this way. The debriefings are much easier to handle with Steve leading them and they don’t have to fill out all the forms.

They are Avengers. Most of them are Otherkind. They will protect and fight for everyone who needs them. It’s a good life. Steve enjoys it very much.

But most of all, he enjoys to return home to the tower to find his friends on the common floor, gathered around several huge pizzas and discussing their days. He enjoys putting his arms around Bucky and feeling the soft tingle of Otherkind, sometimes faint, sometimes strong. He enjoys listening to Tony making jokes and Sam laughing and Phil trying to make Clint behave just a little. He enjoys the feeling of Otherkind in the room and the fact that there are no longer any masking signs in the building.

Steve Rogers enjoys his life, his friends and his freedom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's it guys :) I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it.

**Author's Note:**

> New year, new story  
> Trying something different with this one. Let me know what you think :)
> 
> The plan is to post a chapter a week


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